\”Thirteen Dogs\”, which has been banned from broadcasting for 5 years, highlights the importance of family education and reveals it nakedly

Today I went to see the movie \”Thirteen Dogs\”. It is a cruel movie that is hard to put down, and it is also a movie worth waiting for for 5 years. ▲Poster for the movie \”Thirteen Dogs\”. The protagonist of the movie is a 12-year-old girl, Li Wan. She has a dog named \”Einstein\”. ▲Still from the movie \”Thirteen Dogs\” Li Wan\’s parents are divorced. She lives with her grandparents. She lacks the care of her parents and is lonely and silent. Only her dog \”Einstein\” will take the initiative to care for her. Unfortunately, grandpa accidentally lost \”Einstein\” and lost his only spiritual sustenance. Li Wan was very sad. What made Li Wan even more sad was that his family found another dog and said that it was \”Einstein\”. Li Wan said her family was cheating on her, but they said she was ignorant. Li Wan couldn\’t bear it, made a lot of noise, and had conflicts with her family. In the end, Li Wan became \”sensible\” \”in an instant\” after her father\’s crazy beating. She learned to suppress her feelings, please adults, and became a good child in the eyes of her parents. ▲The movie \”Thirteen Dogs\” poster There are three Einsteins in the movie, one is real, one is fake, and the other is Li Wanzi, who is as unloved as the two dogs. Li Wan loves to watch \”A Brief History of Time\” and imagines that in countless other parallel universes, he can make up for all the regrets in this world. But only in this real world, Li Wan was always full of regrets and did not feel any warmth. After watching the movie, many people said that they are Li Wan, who has never received the love and understanding of his parents since he was a child. But, is it really like everyone thinks that all the family members don’t love Li Wan? I don\’t think her family doesn\’t love her. Grandparents love playing with Li. Grandma, who had not left home for more than ten years, got lost because she was anxious to find Li Wan. After his son\’s divorce, his grandfather raised Li Wan at an old age and said in front of his son and his wife, \”If I don\’t love her, who will love her?\” My father loved playing with Li. He knew that Li Wan was lonely, so he sent her \”Einstein\”. He would rush to the scene of Li Wan\’s speech contest, would miss taking his daughter to see the astronomy exhibition, and would smile with joy after Li Wan won the prize in the physics contest. My cousin also loves Li Wan. She would share all the secrets with Li Wan, always stay with her when Li Wan ran away, come and hold her hand when her family ignored her, and even at the end of the movie, she was still helping Li Wan search for her. Einstein. So why didn\’t Li Wan feel this love? Why do family members who clearly care about each other end up becoming like strangers, growing further and further apart? That\’s because family members use the wrong way of loving. The love that children want is the spiritual companionship of their parents, not the material companionship. But Li Wan desperately lacks the company of his parents. At the beginning of the movie, Li Wan comes home from school and his grandma prepares a meal. Li Wan casually picks up the bowls and chopsticks and puts the rice into his mouth while watching TV. He never glances at the food, which tastes like chewing wax. What she really loves to eat is instant noodles cooked alone at night. ▲Still from the movie \”Thirteen Dogs\” It was supposed to be the warmest dinner for her family, but it didn\’t matter to her because the parents she wanted to accompany her most were not around. Li Wan\’s biological mother did not appear in the movie at all, except for a phone call after Li Wan won the award. The mother and daughter had a simple conversation and hung up the phone, but Li Wan couldn\’t see anything on his face.Little waves. Her father had another child, and Li Wan didn\’t know about the existence of this younger brother until he was old enough to learn skating. This shows how little communication his father had with her. Try to imagine yourself, are you like Li Wan’s father, who uses busy work as an excuse to miss company? Do you only spend time with your children through disciplinary beatings and scoldings, or do you stay by their children’s side and brush them? cell phone, and then said to myself, I am spending time with my children. No wonder some people call the children of busy urbanites \”left-behind children in the city.\” A netizen once told his frustrations in a tree hole: Every morning when I go out at 5:30, my children are still awake, and when I get home at almost 12 o\’clock in the evening, my children are already asleep. The longest time I haven\’t seen my children is a month. As a result, Later, when the child saw himself, he actually staged an embarrassing scene of calling himself \”uncle\”. Life is very helpless, but we also need to understand the purpose and meaning of our hard work. The love that children want is not \”this is for your own good\”, but \”what do you think\”. Respecting children means loving them. Forcing children is not love, it is love full of violence. Grandpa lost the Einstein that Li was playing with. The whole family stood ready, using roller skates to lay the ground, and then began to persuade: Son, when you grow up, you need to be sensible; Son, you are about to take the high school entrance examination; Son, Grandpa is too old to catch up. Get on the dog. ▲Still from the movie \”Thirteen Dogs\” But no one said to her: Child, I\’m sorry! Because his pain was not taken seriously at all, Li Wan frantically searched for Einstein and began to have constant conflicts with his family. After beating Li Wan violently, her father apologized to her: Son, I\’m sorry, you should be more sensible, dad works so hard. ▲Have you seen the stills from the movie \”Thirteen Dogs\”? The logic of an apology is: I\’m sorry because you were wrong and because you didn\’t think about me. Similar logic is not unfamiliar in reality. When we beat and scold our children, do we say, \”I\’m not doing this for your own good, why are you so ignorant? I worked so hard to bring you up, is it easy for me?\” \”Positive Discipline\” mentions that in order to truly achieve good educational interaction with children, the first step is to respect your children. Respecting a child means treating him as an independent person, not as our appendage. We are not qualified and should not ignore his feelings. People pursue a sense of recognition and gain throughout their lives. Without respect, there is no recognition. A child who does not get recognition will have extremely low self-esteem or arrogance, which will make him have many difficulties and pain in the future society. The love that children want is \”No matter what you are like, I love you\”, not \”I will love you if you get 100 points on the test.\” However, the love we give our children often comes with strings attached. In order to make up for his forcibly modifying the interest group, his father took out a hundred-dollar bill and handed it to Li Wan. In order to appease Li Wan and inform her of the existence of her little brother, her father gave her a puppy. In order to take her to the ice rink to meet her brother for the first time, I took her to see the exhibition first. Because Li Wan was obedient and toasted, her father praised and affirmed her. Because Li Wan won the prize in physics, her father smiled warmly at her. We also often say to our children, you got 100 points in the exam, and your mother loves you so much. You were so obedient today. Dad is so happy. SeveralAlmost all care needs to be preceded by a precondition before it can be established. Your mother who still loves you in the morning will probably \”no longer like you\” at noon because you don\’t \”obey\”. ▲Poster of the movie \”Thirteen Dogs\” Invisibly, we are making transactions with our children with love. Only when the children provide us with something, will we give them some love. If we are not satisfied, we will also take it from them. Take this love back with your hands. Conditional love will leave our children at a loss as to what to do. Even the parents they love and trust the most cannot give them a sense of security. Over time, children will only suppress their own nature and learn to please their parents. The love that children want is the words \”I love you\” from their parents, not nothing. Love should be spoken out, not kept in the heart. In the movie, if the father tells Li Wan: Son, daddy loves you very much, and I understand your loneliness, so let this puppy accompany you, and I will come to see you often. If everyone told Li Wan: Child, I\’m sorry, we lost your puppy. In order to be afraid that you would be sad, we tried hard to search everywhere. In order to be afraid that you would be sad, we finally had to find another \”Einstein\” to deceive you. , can you forgive me? If they all expressed their love, Li Wan would not have grown up in loneliness. There was once a program that asked children to call their parents and say \”I love you.\” The response from my parents was surprising. Are you out of money? Did you do something bad? Creepy! Not only are Chinese parents not good at expressing love, they are also not good at accepting expressions of love from others. This is the most real state of Chinese parents and children. But if love is not spoken, how can a young child understand it? The movie \”Dog 13\” is like a warning about family education, which is worthy of every parent\’s careful consideration. But we don’t want you to feel emotional just for Li Wan after watching the movie. We hope you will go home and turn your eyes to your child, look at his clear eyes, and look at the corners of his mouth that turned up when he saw you. , and then think about it carefully, is the love you give him correct? Is it enough? Is it unconditional?