What kind of children will those irritable parents raise?

A friend forwarded a video to me, which has been widely circulated these days. It shows a mother stepping on her biological daughter on the street in Xiaoshan, Hangzhou. In my life, I despise the abuse of children and small animals. I felt so sad when I saw it. I told my friend, \”In a situation like this, you will definitely be deprived of custody rights in a foreign country.\” The friend defended the mother, \”She would rather be hungry. She still loves her daughter, do you believe it?\” \”I believe it.\” \”Do you know that when she beat her own child, she actually felt more uncomfortable than anyone else?\” \”I know. \”Do you understand how difficult it is for a single mother to raise a child? Emotional breakdown is inevitable. No one is a saint.\” \”I understand.\” Really, I believe it, I understand. After reading the follow-up reports, I already knew that this was a woman who was almost at the end of her rope. After the divorce, Huang\’s ex-husband gave her child 600 yuan a month in support. The stubborn woman had a falling out with her father again, and she left her hometown with her child, isolated and helpless. With her last ten dollars in her pocket, she went to the Xiaoshan labor market to find a job. She could endure hardship, but no one wanted to hire her with her children. Her daughter screamed with hunger, so she took out 2 yuan from her last bit of money to buy a grilled sausage for her daughter. When her daughter took a bite, she didn\’t know whether it was too hot or not delicious, so she spit it out. Her mood suddenly collapsed, and all the hardships along the way came to her mind. She yelled at her daughter and pushed her to the ground. When her daughter started crying, passers-by came to comfort her. She became even more angry, pushed the passers-by away, and kicked her. Stepping on his daughter… The world only saw this cruel side, but they didn\’t know that it was the sad echo of a broken string. And for a long time, it also played the gentlest and most touching voice of maternal love – when the two of them were the hungriest, she would give her daughter only half a steamed bun and fill her stomach with boiled water. . I absolutely believe that this mother loves her daughter. If a disaster strikes, I have no doubt that she will rush forward to take bullets for her child, or risk her life to keep her daughter alive. However, there are also mothers like this. There are many mothers like this who cannot withstand the trivialities of the passing years in peaceful times. They cannot treat their children calmly and treat their children as their own private property. The anger that life brings has nowhere to vent. and dissatisfaction should be vented on the weak children. Huang said that every time he spanked his child, he would regret it so much that he wished he could chop off his hands. Regret is real, and so is the inability to control oneself. This is no different from a man slapping himself in the mouth and kneeling down to beg for mercy after domestic violence. People who cannot control their own behavior are like a small fire burning in their hearts. Their breaking point may come from all aspects, including financial problems, family conflicts, and life difficulties. The accumulation of all unsatisfactory conditions can cause irrational loss of control. Because life is difficult and raising children is not easy for many parents, they always express their anger at their children, saying \”If it weren\’t for you\” all the time. They like to use the simplest and crudest way to educate their children. Reasoning is troublesome, and gentleness is even more boring. Scolding, blaming, beating and scolding are the easiest and more effective. But the more such parents are, the more likely they are to raise troublesome children. Their children can be simpleDivided into two categories, one is extremely irritable and the other is extremely stupid. If he is irritable, he will look like the mold of his parents. He will have a bad temper and do everything in reverse. He will not sleep when it is time to go to bed, but insists on drinking milk. When he gets the milk, he says he wants to play games. Yelling all day long, impatient, unable to concentrate. When I go out of the house, I kick the puppy and hit the children. I am disgusted by ghosts and gods. If I don\’t pay attention, I will get into trouble. Clumsy, completely lacking in self-confidence, cowardly and introverted, timid in doing things, his parents coughed, making him tremble with fear. He has many bad habits and can\’t get rid of them no matter how much he scolds him. He seems to have no self-esteem at all and his skin is as thick as a city wall. I don\’t know how to read people\’s words, I don\’t understand the ways of the world, I\’m completely fooled by the control, everything I do has to be arranged by my parents, and if my parents don\’t care, I don\’t know what to do. Therefore, parents who raise such children will become more and more miserable and aggrieved. Just like Huang, her little daughter already looks very stubborn. If a mother does not change her parenting style, she will soon find that spanking and scolding are no longer effective for her children. The daughter will learn to talk back, resist, question, and finally, in extreme cases, she will run away from home and go to a place that she thinks can provide her with warmth. In the end, all the sacrifices and efforts of being a mother are wasted. In the Chinese family concept, there is a very fondness for and the habit of being together. Children have been beaten and scolded by their parents for a long time, but they say, \”Look at how good your mother is to you. She raised you up by pooping and peeing, and spanked you twice.\” What\’s wrong with scolding you? You can\’t hold grudges, otherwise it\’s unfilial.\” It seems that as long as the motives are good, everything should be forgiven, understood, and even appreciated. But children don’t care about motivations, and they can’t understand motivations. They can only intuitively feel that good is good and bad is bad. Some of the harm done by parents is intentional and some is unintentional, but for children who are not yet mature enough, there is no difference between the two. Hitting means pain, scolding means humiliating, loving means tenderness, and protecting means safety. You will reap what you sow. Children are more honest than the land. What makes us different people? In terms of origin, it is the different attitudes of our parents towards us in the early stages of our lives that determine our different emotional experiences, which in turn form different personality characteristics, and finally guide us to different life journeys. Sometimes, childhood experiences are easily forgotten, but as adults, many people understand that what we do throughout our lives is just to make up for what we have lost, and to pay for the harm we suffered in childhood. The darkness and depression that have never been treated well will eventually set up camp in life, blossom and bear fruit, and it will take a lot of time to eliminate and expel them. Psychologist Zeng Qifeng said: \”All parents who treat their children in a bad way are unconsciously doing evil to themselves.\” Yes, parents who lack patience and gentleness will create many thorny and gloomy lives in life. child. Their mistakes in parenting are passed on through the lives of their children, and they end up doing evil to themselves. After 30 years of research, American psychologist Nathan Seinberg and a team of psychologists used retrospective and analysis methods from the life experiences of a large number of adults.The predictive method finally yielded a set of very effective psychological results – which behaviors of parents can promote children\’s mental health: 1. Parents\’ calmness, introspection and concentration – treating children as human beings; 2. The parents are in love with each other, and their affection is deeper than their love for each other; 3. The mother is gentle and loving. Warm and compassionate – or she can feel the child\’s feelings; 4. The parent is proud of the child\’s positive abilities; 5. The parent is delighted by the child\’s creativity and independence; 6. The parent emphasizes discipline rather than punishment, and the parent Set an example for your children, and they will follow in their parents\’ footsteps; 7. Parents should pay close attention to and be involved in their children\’s lives, at least in the earliest years. If you want your children to maintain mental health and become the \”other people\’s children\” you desire, every parent must first review what you give – only enthusiasm can awaken enthusiasm, gentleness can resonate with gentleness, and abandon depression, Question, force, criticize, humiliate, beat and scold, give encouragement, enthusiasm, help, pleasure, empathy, sharing and attention.