10 ultimate ways to spoil your children, have you fallen for them?

One night in winter, my mother took 3-year-old Pilu to visit a friend\’s house. After returning home, Piru suddenly found that the piece of candy he had been holding in his hand was missing! That piece of candy was given by her mother\’s friend. His family didn\’t have such candy. Piru cried anxiously. Grandpa, grandma, father, and mother all came to comfort him and promised Piru to buy him his favorite toy the next day. However, Piru did not compromise: the complete collection of hilarious Oolongyuan four-frame comics pdf [full length 43+four panels 13+prequel 15+complete collection 22+theatrical version 1] \”I want it! I want it!! I must!!!\” Lu was rolling around and crying. His grandparents, parents, and parents felt really distressed when they saw him, so they brought lighting tools and went out in full force to conduct a \”net-type\” search along the way back. It was 12 o\’clock in the night, but the candy was still not found. Seeing the child dying out of despair, the mother finally knocked on the door of her friend\’s house… This was 3-year-old Piru. He was so hysterical after experiencing a small disappointment, which foreshadowed the coming disaster… Piru grew up and wanted to find a girlfriend, but the girl he liked didn\’t like him at all. He stopped rolling and crying, but picked up a knife and cut his wrist… In the hospital, Piru was rescued, but he started a hunger strike again. His parents cried and said to him: \”You want us to die? Aren\’t we just a girl? There is still a long way to go in life, and there are many good girls.\” But he said bitterly: \”I just want her! I want her.\” ! Must have her!!\” Starting from a piece of candy, Piru was satisfied with endless tenderness until he lost his rationality… Piru\’s story is a small case in \”Why Family Hurts People\” by teacher Wu Zhihong . He used extreme but almost real plots to reveal to us the painful cost of parents doting on their children. Education expert Makarenko said: Giving everything to your children, sacrificing everything, even your own happiness, is the most terrible gift that parents can give their children. Children who are spoiled will never grow up. In fact, parents\’ doting is the catalyst that destroys their children\’s lives. Is your child a \”mute child\”? A mother once left a message to us to complain: some time ago, she and her husband were both on a business trip. For a total of three days, they asked their grandma to help take care of their son. But what I didn\’t expect was that something happened on the second day of the business trip. The class teacher told them privately that the child\’s homework was a mess, the handwriting was scrawled, and the child didn\’t bring any textbooks. In response to this, the child\’s reaction was very calm: \”My parents used to accompany me to do my homework and help me check it. They also helped me organize my schoolbag. Now I can\’t do it alone.\” This mother said The experience is really too common. The mother does the homework with her, and sometimes she has to help copy it when it is too late; the mother cleans up the child\’s schoolbag and desk on her behalf; everything is prepared for the child at the dinner table, and she can\’t wait to feed him like she did when she was a child; …the consequences of doing everything for her. , that is, the child is trapped in the \”spoiling trap\”, unwilling to climb up, and does not know how to climb up. I have read countless news reports that today this child cannot tie his shoelaces, and tomorrow that child cannot peel shrimps.Behind this series of absurdities is actually a cold fact: the ending of doting often does not end well. I also saw a joke about the \”mute child\”. There is a child who cannot speak even at the age of 5, and the whole family is worried. Suddenly one day, the child said: Mom, the soup is salty! The whole family was shocked: My child, can you speak? The child replied: I have been able to speak for a long time, but you have taken care of everything for me, so why do I need to speak? Ridiculous and ironic. The fact that parents take care of everything actually becomes the reason for \”mute children\” not to speak. I think \”mute child\” must be more than a joke. In some corner of the world, under the pampering of parents, \”dumb children\” and even \”disabled children\” are real. Have you fallen into the top 10 signs of doting on your children? Parents\’ doting actually lays the foundation for their children\’s lives. Sometimes, we still don’t feel the consequences of doting. That’s because the lightning is not going to explode, but the time has not yet come. The following are the 10 most common signs of doting on children, which are like the top 10 minefields buried in the child\’s body. I hope that all parents will compare and examine themselves one by one, and ask themselves, have you laid a trap for your children? 1. Special treatment means that the child has a superior status at home and receives special treatment everywhere. Especially the behavior of eating \”alone\”. The \”bowl of noodles\” story that has gone viral among parents is a manifestation of parents\’ special treatment for their children: every time they eat beef noodles, grandma will give the child the beef in the bowl in front of the child. Once, grandma put beef into the child\’s bowl in advance. When eating noodles, the child found that grandma didn\’t put beef for him, so he yelled and used chopsticks to dig into grandma\’s bowl, and took out all the noodles on the table. . Grandma just sighed, shook her head, and put the noodles on the table back into her bowl. The child in the story is selfish, and the root of his selfishness is caused by the special treatment that adults have given him for a long time. Children who are not satisfied are trapped in doting, unable to extricate themselves, and lose the excellent personality they should have. 2. Paying too much attention to Chen Yue, a famous children’s program host on Chengdu TV, believes that children are the center and center of gravity in many families. This situation has penetrated into all aspects of family life: parents live frugally, but children live well; parents do everything, but children only Need to focus on schoolwork; parents’ daily routines are forgotten, and children’s birthdays must be grand; parents are sick and just take some medicine, but when the child is sick, the whole family can’t sleep well… Originally, it is a good thing for the family to be child-centered, but the whole family If everyone and everything revolves around the child and paying too much attention to the child, it can easily develop into doting. This may not only cause conflicts in the family, but may also develop a selfish and domineering character in the children. If things go on like this, it will be difficult for children to integrate into society when they grow up, and they may even suffer from psychological imbalance, showing off their power at home but shrinking away from home. 3. Easily satisfied means giving children whatever they want. In such a growing environment, children will pursue material enjoyment and not appreciate it. In fact, this has long been the norm in Chinese education. The children of the rich must be rich and the children of the poor must also be rich. All the people are the \”second generation of the rich.\” French educator LouShuo once said: Do you know what method you can use to make your child an unfortunate person? This method is to be obedient to him. Many young parents are unwilling to raise their children with grandparents of the older generation, precisely because grandparents dote on their children and are almost always responsive to their children\’s requests. This allows children to develop all kinds of bad habits, and invisibly destroys the dignity of parents in front of their children. 4. Children who live a lazy life are likely to lack motivation and perseverance. The most prominent manifestations are allowing children to sleep in and helping children tidy up their rooms. Childhood is the best time to cultivate children\’s independence. If parents allow their children to be lazy and muddle along in life, it is very detrimental to their growth. 5. Praying for advice Praying for advice is actually allowing your children to negotiate conditions with you. In the story about Piru at the beginning, the parents promise to buy Piru his favorite toy the next day, which is exactly the expression of begging for supplication. How is the result? In the past, the \”try it a hundred times and it will work\” conditional approach no longer works in the current social environment. The American child psychologist Rudolf Drakes also gave an example: A pair of brothers often act mischievously when facing their mother, leaving her in a hurry; but when their father is at home, they are very well-behaved. Because the brothers know very well that their mother gives in easily, while their father usually follows his word and is very firm in executing decisions. If you live in a conditional environment for a long time, your children will one day become \”immune\” to these conditions, constantly challenge your bottom line, and the prestige of education will eventually be lost. 6. Doting parents who replace doting with doting often destroy their children’s feelings in the name of love. A very capable mother once complained: There is really nothing I can do about my son. In elementary school, junior high school, and high school, those who can pass the exam will be admitted. For those who fail, we will spend money to find the best schools for him, including universities and graduate schools. With all the connections, we helped him prepare for his job, house, and car. But now I am in my 30s, I have no independent opinion, no sense of responsibility, and I have not made any progress at work. What should I do when I retire? This is the typical consequence of doting in an arranged way. The child becomes a \”giant baby\” and cannot grow up. Arranging parents love to protect their children, help them remove obstacles, create the best conditions for their children, and pave all the roads. However, under the protection of their parents, they never learn how to deal with the challenges in life and gradually lose the ability to survive independently. When they faced life alone, they found themselves unable to cope and at a loss what to do. 7. Fuss and fuss As the old saying goes, a newborn calf is not afraid of tigers. Most children are not afraid of anything when they are young: not afraid of wrestling, because running is more exciting; not afraid of darkness, because the darker it is, the better it is for playing hide and seek. However, as we grow up, we become more and more timid and cryy. This is mainly caused by parents. When the child falls, the parents exclaim, \”Does the baby hurt? Mom feels so sorry for it.\” When the child hides in the dark, the parents even scream, \”Baby, come out quickly, come to the mother\’s arms. There is a big bad wolf in the night.\” \”. Every time a parent makes a fuss,Forcing the child to stay close to him, and even forcing the child to grow up in a timid and cowardly direction. 8. Deprivation of independence. Holding it in your mouth for fear of melting, holding it in your hand for fear of falling off, completely depriving children of their desire to be independent. This is also one of the manifestations of doting. \”Listen to me, you are still young, you don\’t understand\”; \”You don\’t know how to do this, you are so stupid\”; \”This is difficult, you can\’t do it well\”. The above three sentences are also the most common words said by parents who are \”independence-depriving and doting\” to their children. Children who have been deprived of their independence since childhood are habitually dependent on their parents and have no ideas of their own, becoming that irresponsible \”mama\’s boy.\” 9. Afraid of crying. Parents will compromise when their children cry. This is also one of the signs of parents doting on their children. When a child tastes the sweetness of \”crying\” for the first time, he will know that in this way, parents will surrender and comply. And if something goes wrong next time, the child is likely to cry and threaten the parents again. Such children have already sown the seeds of selfishness, ruthlessness, willfulness and lack of self-control in their character. Zhou Hong\’s Appreciation Education Case Video Original Series 6VCD+mp3 10. Face to Face I once saw a piece of news about a 13-year-old boy molesting seven children, which reflects the consequences of \”protective doting\”. When the boy made a big mistake, instead of apologizing, the boy\’s mother was busy trying to excuse her son, arguing that her son was mentally retarded. There are countless cases like this. The reason why these children develop such twisted personalities is precisely because their parents have repeatedly protected them and become their children\’s \”protective umbrella\” and \”refuge\” unconditionally. It is almost impossible to expect his mother to guide him on the right path. I just hope that he will not become the second \”Sun Xiaoguo\”. One memo to parents from American schools says: Don’t spoil me. I know very well that I don\’t deserve everything I ask for, and I\’m just testing you with my unreasonable demands. Clearly and thoroughly, this is the voice of the child. Loving a child does not mean responding to the child\’s requests, nor does it mean blindly accommodating and tolerating the child. This does not mean loving him, but harming him. What we have to do is to love him in a principled way. This is the true meaning of love and education.