3 psychological nutrients that can make children happy throughout their lives

There is no doubt that parents in the world love their children, but a large number of parents love in the wrong way and impose things they think are good on their children, but ignore their children\’s true feelings and thoughts. Children who seem to be calm and normal may be suffering from unknown pressure and pain inside. The China Youth Development Report released by the China Youth Research Center and the International Liaison Department of the Central Committee of the Communist Youth League shows that 30 million children under the age of 17 in my country are troubled by various emotional and psychological behavioral problems. The \”National Family Education Situation Survey Report (2018)\” shows that among the options of \”what parents most want their parents to pay attention to\”, in addition to \”interests and hobbies\”, adolescent children most want their parents to pay attention to their own psychological conditions. As children grow up, their psychological and spiritual worlds are constantly developing and updating. Only when parents provide their children with adequate psychological nutrition can they maintain a healthy and positive state. Children with adequate psychological nutrition will learn and explore with peace of mind and confidence, have positive and optimistic thinking, have strong vitality, and can maximize their growth potential. If there is a lack of psychological nutrition, children may be in a state of searching and demanding throughout their lives. They may be prone to stress, anxiety, sensitivity, low self-esteem, and negative thinking, which is not conducive to personal growth and development and the establishment of intimate relationships. In particular, the following three psychological nutrients are crucial to children\’s physical and mental development – 01 Sufficient sense of security. When children come into this world, everything around them is unknown to them. They use their parents\’ expressions, demeanor, Language and reaction build up the understanding of the world bit by bit. Among them, a sense of security is the foundation of children’s mental health. Especially the period from 0 to 3 years old is a critical period for establishing a sense of security. During this period, children will feel comfortable if they are well cared for by their parents or other caregivers, especially the mother, who adopts a loving attitude toward the child and this loving kindness is frequent, consistent, and reliable. and satisfaction, establishing an initial sense of security. Children with a sufficient and stable sense of security can feel their own existence, confirm their own importance, and develop trust and expectations for the people around them and the external world. They will have more courage and courage to explore the outside world as they grow up. Children who lack a sense of security will doubt their own existence, cannot be sure that they are loved, and are prone to develop low self-esteem and sensitive personalities; they may also feel that the outside world is dangerous, and may be prone to nervousness, anxiety, timidity, and withdrawal. Common manifestations include: being extremely clingy to mom or dad and not being able to leave for a moment; being a bully at home and a little mouse outside: being shy, timid, and submissive; refusing to admit mistakes after making mistakes, or even running away and refusing to apologize… Give your children safety… I feel that it is best for parents to take care of their children by themselves before the child is 3 years old and provide him with high-quality companionship and close interaction. In infants and young children, when they are hungry, thirsty, sleepy, or scared, they can promptly recognize the information expressed by the child and actively meet and respond to their needs; have more physical contact and intimate interaction with the child, such as touching, hugging, kissing, and parent-child interactions. Play games; communicate with children in a loving and gentle tone, and do not be indifferent to children, verbally violent, or threaten children with \”abandonment\”; in addition, parents should also pay attention to maintaining emotional stability and creatingCreate a comfortable, warm, and pleasant family atmosphere, and do not argue in front of your children. 02 Respect and Understand A survey once showed that many people doubt whether their parents really love them. \”Only when I have good grades and good performance will they praise me and treat me well. What they love is only those external performances, their face, not the real myself.\” \”I can\’t communicate with my parents, they are not willing at all Listening to my true thoughts will only deny me and try to convince me with their reasoning.\” \”From a young age, I can\’t be angry or cry. They scold me and say it\’s worthless, which makes them upset.\” This is often because, Parents love in the wrong way and fail to see the true inner needs of their children. As children grow up, their psychological needs to be respected and understood will become stronger and stronger. However, many parents often ignore, deny, order, and force their children under the banner of \”for your own good.\” Without an education method of respect and understanding, what children most directly feel is their parents\’ criticism and dissatisfaction with them, and they feel that they are not loved and have a low sense of self-worth. And when children feel respected and understood, their hearts will be healed, their loneliness and pain will be greatly reduced, and their love for their parents will be deeper. Psychologist Edward Thorndike said: \”Only when parents see things from their children\’s perspective can they understand their children\’s psychological needs, avoid drawing arbitrary conclusions, reduce conflicts with their children, and win their children\’s trust.\” Parents accompany their children as they grow. , it is not only enough to have love, but also learn to love children correctly: pay attention to children\’s feelings and thoughts, and consider issues from the child\’s perspective. With respect and understanding, the emotional connection between parents and children is closer, parents understand their children better, and children are more willing to talk to their parents and ask for help when they encounter problems. Only when the parent-child relationship is good can the educational effect be good. Specifically, there are the following points: First, pay attention to the way you speak, protect the child\’s self-esteem, try to use positive language and a consultative tone to communicate with the child, and avoid sarcasm, rhetorical questions, and direct orders. Second, regardless of whether the child is in a mood, makes a mistake, or expresses his or her own thoughts, parents should not criticize, deny, or lecture as their first reaction. The first step should be to accept the child and express understanding of his emotions and thoughts. This will promote understanding and trust between parent and child. For example, a child feels very frustrated after being criticized by the teacher, and goes home saying that he does not want to go to school. If the parent goes into a big fight at this time and blames him for having such thoughts, it will only make the child feel more sad, disappointed, and even angry. First of all, you should express your concern calmly and gently: \”What happened? Are you willing to talk to your mother?\” After the child tells the reason, express acceptance and understanding of his emotions: \”It turns out that you must be very upset when you are criticized by the teacher. Sad, and a little angry, right?\” The feeling that emotions and feelings are seen and understood will help children calm down more quickly. On this basis, then standardize the child\’s behavior, follow the guidance, and give guiding help or suggestions, which will not only make the child feel loved, but also learn rules and grow. Third, parents should pay more attention to the reasons behind their children\’s behavior and performance. Listen more, communicate patiently with your child, and understand his feelings and thoughts. Such as childrenThe child is timid and introverted. Is it because he lacks company and lacks a sense of security? After understanding the reasons, we can give the children appropriate guidance, reflect on and adjust their education methods. 03 Recognition and Appreciation Psychologist William James said: \”The deepest need of human beings is to feel appreciated.\” Children who can receive full recognition and appreciation will feel that they are a valuable person and be full of passion in their hearts. and happiness, have the confidence to face various problems in life, and have the courage and courage to create the splendor of life. For children, parents are the most trustworthy and important people, so they are more eager to be recognized and appreciated by their parents, especially for children aged 0-12, this need is even stronger. Some parents have high expectations and demanding requirements for their children, often criticize and deny their children, and rarely express recognition to their children. If this continues, the child\’s self-confidence will be damaged and he will feel inferior. Many children who are tired of studying and addicted to games are looking for it in games and the Internet precisely because they are not recognized and appreciated in the real world. There are also some children who are rebellious and have bad behavior precisely because their parents have given them There are too many negatives and bad reviews, so they break the rules and deliberately \”retaliate\” against their parents… If a child does not get recognition and appreciation in the real world, and cannot find it elsewhere, he will begin to doubt himself. The meaning of existence is increasingly lost, and the hope of life is increasingly lost. He becomes depressed and gives up on himself. There is a sentence in \”Howl\’s Moving Castle\”: \”Love is not about finding a perfect person, but learning to appreciate the imperfect person with perfect eyes. Watch the complete 23 episodes of the Harvard Open Course Positive Psychology documentary online Every child has his or her own unique strengths and shining points. In the process of raising children, parents should know how to appreciate their children and not always be picky and focus on their children’s shortcomings and deficiencies; when their children perform well, they should be rewarded in a timely manner. Give him praise and affirmation. Recognition and appreciation are not just expressed in words. The most important thing is trust and letting go in action. Only then can children continue to improve their abilities and gain a sense of power and control in their hearts. Therefore, parents should give more to their children. Opportunities for independent work and self-management allow children to express their opinions and ideas, and if appropriate, they are recognized and actively adopted. In this process, it not only satisfies children\’s psychological needs for recognition, but also allows children to exercise their abilities in all aspects. Gain real and stable self-confidence. Some people say that the core issue of family education is to help children develop a healthy self. I deeply believe that. Parents provide their children with these three kinds of psychological nutrition, and their children\’s self-confidence, optimism, anti-frustration ability and other good qualities Quality will grow naturally, making it easier to gain a happy and fulfilling life. If you also think these three kinds of psychological nutrition are important, please click [Like] and share it with more people in need~