Which one do you \”pretend\” for the sake of your children? A wolf in sheep\’s clothing? Or a sheep in wolf\’s clothing? …In parenting, sometimes we unknowingly act as the big bad wolf in our children’s hearts, and sometimes we are tender-hearted and willing to be gentle and infinitely gentle little sheep. Is it a sheep or a wolf? In addition to the parents\’ own personalities, experiences, and educational concepts, the children\’s personality and temperament also unintentionally influence our choices. This is a rivalry that requires the children\’s cooperation. Let’s take a look at 4 parenting styles of celebrities. Character 1: Wolf in sheep\’s clothing – Representative character: Hu Ke Personality: Pursue results and goals, but pay attention to protecting children\’s emotions and self-esteem, and often use praise, encouragement or flexible methods to help children achieve their ultimate goals. ▲Hu Ke Hu Ke in the second season of \”Mom is Superman\”. Audiences said she is the most normal mother in the show, the best combination of supermen and mortals. She makes mistakes and panics, but can deal with them calmly. Hu Ke is also a good mother outside the show. A strategic and principled mother. ▲Before Hu Ke and his two sons Anji went to kindergarten, Hu Ke took Anji with him to \”travel around\” to live the life of the crew. As Anji grows older, the \”acting\” career must be replaced by the normal life in kindergarten. In order to let the \”free-range\” Anji adapt to kindergarten life, Hu Ke made sufficient psychological preparations. On the first day of kindergarten, when he arrived at the door, Anji stopped and looked back at his mother. Hu Ke encouraged him. Anji was the best. When he was on the set with his mother, he could handle any situation and did a great job every time. , there will definitely be no problem this time! Anji curled her lips, turned her head and wiped the corners of her eyes, then strode into the classroom. This type of parents are usually very rational. They usually have their own ideas when it comes to educating their children, and set development goals for their children according to their own ideas. In the process of achieving their goals, their most common method is praise and positive encouragement. , Praise makes children willing to do as their parents ask, and some parents will also use rewards and inducements to make children give up their persistence. Problem blackboard: 1. Praise fails; 2. Children learn to negotiate terms; 3. Parents\’ demands are too high, and children fail to meet their parents\’ expectations, which leads to rebellion and makes parents\’ inducement strategies fail. ♥How to deal with it: Praise in a certain amount. Don\’t send it randomly anytime and anywhere. Appropriate praise should be meaningful. Don\’t always praise your children in front of outsiders, as this may make them feel vain. In the form of praise and rewards, there can be appropriate rewards along with praise, but rewards should be used in moderation. A promise in advance that I will let you do something if you do it may turn your hard work into ashes. Children may do it for rewards and costs. Follow the instructions and gradually form a situation where you can negotiate conditions for everything. Don’t set too high goals for your children, and adjust your expectations and requirements for your children reasonably. Character 2: Sheep in wolf\’s clothing – Representative character: Ma Yashu Character design: Easy to be soft-hearted, very strict on the surface but gentle on the inside, often defeated by children\’s tears and weakness, giving up on principles. ▲Ma Yashu participated in the second season of \”Mom is Superman\”. Ma Yashu has two children. Her sister felt that her mother was partial to her younger brother, and she was dissatisfied. She forcibly took away his younger brother\’s toys and pushed them away with her hands.My brother also beats my mother. Ma Yashu took her sister to stand against the wall. But the stubborn sister did not think she was wrong. On the contrary, she cried aggrievedly. Seeing her sister\’s tears, Ma Yashu immediately softened her heart and embraced her in her arms. ▲Ma Yashu and her son and daughter Ma Yashu said that as soon as her child cries, her original strict persistence immediately drops to below freezing. She is a compromising mother. The hesitant attitude of the problem blackboard parents often makes the rules become decorations. The results of repeated violations allow the children to continuously enhance their \”combat ability\” in practice, and ultimately establish absolute confidence in their parents. They understand that as long as they persist, they will continue to succeed. Crying can defeat parents, and in the eyes of parents, children are becoming more and more difficult to deal with. ♥Coping method: \”Do what you say\” is the best way for parents to establish authority. Parents who are passive-aggressive will make any decision extremely difficult, so you must be firm. You should let your children understand that you are the parent ,You decide. Once you say \”no,\” stick to it. Establish rules. The rules are few but clear. Tell your children clearly what is not allowed and what is allowed. It is simple and clear. There are no loopholes. If you are not sure, then don\’t tell them. Repeating firm \”rules lessons\” will help children remember the rules. Every time a child commits a foul, it must be pointed out to him immediately, \”This is wrong.\” Ignoring the child\’s foul behavior depending on the mood and time will make them confused. Role 3: Sheep-type parents – Representative figure: Beckham Character: Let nature take its course, fully respect the opinions of the children, accept their ideas 100% without principles, and make no demands on the children. ▲Beckham Beckham said that the only thing he cannot be strict with is his 4-year-old daughter Xiaoqi. One day, Xiao Qi asked her mother Victoria if she could eat ice cream in the kitchen, but Victoria said: \”No, you have just eaten it.\” Xiao Qi then acted like a baby to her father: \”Daddy, I love you so much, I can eat it again.\” An ice cream?\” Although Victoria said: \”There is no way.\” But he still said to Xiao Qi: \”Just have another one.\” ▲Beckham and Xiao Qi\’s problem blackboard 1. Excessive accommodation makes children Developing a personality of dependence, withdrawal, and laziness, which manifests as low frustration tolerance psychologically; 2. Children have excessive desires and do not understand behavioral norms and moral norms. It is difficult for children to control their own behavior, and they are emotionally impulsive and prone to selfishness and self-esteem. Bad qualities such as centrality, no love for work, willfulness, and arrogance. ♥Coping methods Pampering is definitely not unprincipled. Blind obedience is as unwise as rough treatment. Letting children understand the rules and abide by them is the first lesson for parents to pamper their children. Without violating the general principles, give children more freedom and satisfaction. . ●Before the age of 1, children’s emotional needs should be met unconditionally. Do not deliberately fail to meet your child’s emotional needs in order to cultivate your child’s independence. During this period, emotional care and communication should come first, followed by independence. ●After 1 year old, listen, understand and handle in a targeted manner. Learn to listen carefully to your children and understand their thoughts, rather than simply dismissing a child\’s behavior that is not in line with parents\’ expectations as willfulness and ignoring it. Character 4: Big Bad Wolf Parents – Yu Xiaotong’s parents: Mandatory is a typical example of Big Bad Wolf-style educationCharacteristically, this type of parents usually have very strict requirements for their children and do not allow their children to make too many mistakes. In order to achieve their goals, they even resort to corporal punishment, leaving little room for their children to express themselves freely. ▲Yu Xiaotong Yu Xiaotong was born in an intellectual family. Both parents are university professors. Xiaotong’s education was very strict since she was a child. As parents, they firmly disagreed with Xiaotong\’s entry into the entertainment industry. However, they gradually relented after seeing Xiaotong\’s hard work and persistence. ▲ Yu Xiaotong and Pu Pu ▲ Pu Pu Perhaps the education method of Yu Xiaotong\’s parents has a subtle influence on Yu Xiaotong, which led to Yu Xiaotong\’s simple and rude treatment of Pu Pu in the program \”Release My Beibi\”. \”Boys are not allowed to cry.\” He believes that coaxing is useless, and severity is effective. During the show, Pupu didn’t have a chair at that time, and no one around him paid attention to him despite asking for help. Pupu couldn’t help crying. Yu Xiaotong didn’t help Pupu find a chair or comfort him. Instead, he suddenly got angry and pushed Pupu. Walking out, \”Stop eating, go stand for punishment.\” Because Pupu violated his \”boys are not allowed to cry\” principle. Question Blackboard 1. Children are afraid of their parents, have a strange relationship with them, and some children are even resistant; 2. Children are timid and reserved, and sometimes lie to protect themselves. 3. Behind harsh discipline is often parents’ excessive demands on their children. In order to achieve high expectations, parents over-educate and interfere too much, and children’s space for personal autonomy is usually relatively small; although there are countless demanding parents who use love to provide children with In your defense, but overly strict discipline is not synonymous with love. ♥Coping methods Strict demands on children and strict family discipline do not mean harsh punishment or even abuse. Whether parents set rules or impose punishments, they should be calm and do not use coercion or intimidation to their children. If you really want to punish a child, the punishment time should be as short as possible. A 3-year-old child can already withstand the punishment of facing the wall for 3 minutes. But it is best not to punish the child when the situation is unavoidable, but to find ways to divert the child\’s attention to other things.
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