4 things to say that will ruin your child. Don’t say them if you can.

Li Si (pseudonym) is in the third grade of elementary school. He is usually unknown in school and has few good friends. When others talk to him, he always lowers his head in embarrassment. In class, the teacher always hesitates when asking questions, and his voice is as low as an ant. For this reason, the teacher found Li Si’s parents through several home visits and said that the child was too unconfident and introverted, which was not conducive to growth. Unexpectedly, as soon as Li Si\’s father heard that his child was not doing well in school, he began to curse loudly, which scared the child so much that he lowered his head and started sobbing. After some persuasion, the teacher told the parents not to always beat and scold their children for trivial matters. Unexpectedly, the parents felt that \”children cannot become talented unless they are beaten or scolded.\” Seeing this symptom, the teacher understood why Li Si had such a character. Children\’s behavior reflects their psychological state. If a child has behavioral problems, parents should reflect on whether there is something wrong with their own education methods. A master of psychology from Peking University shared four sentences. If parents often say it to their children, they are really not far away from destroying their children. Must-read parenting books for parents recommended: Don’t Think You Understand Your Child’s Heart e-book download For children who have been ruined, parents usually say these 4 sentences ①: “Why are you so stupid? It’s so useless!” In the early stages of children’s growth, they There is no clear understanding of oneself. The evaluation of others, especially the evaluation of parents, will become the main way for children to understand themselves. When parents often scold their children for being useless and stupid, they are actually labeling their children as \”stupid\” and making them become what their parents scold them. \”Why are you so stupid? It\’s useless!\” The harmfulness of this sentence \”Why are you so stupid? It\’s useless!\” If parents often use similar words to their children, it is equivalent to unconsciously making the children feel that they are really stupid. Stupid, very useless. This will lead to harms such as low self-confidence, low self-esteem, introversion, lack of self-motivation, and true stupidity. It would be better to say this: You might do better if you work harder. Mom and Dad believe that your child may be clumsy in some aspects and have poorer acceptance ability than other children of the same age. Parents should not make sarcastic remarks about their children because they are inferior to others or not doing well in some aspects. In the process of growing up, children need the affirmation of others the most, especially the affirmation of their parents. Instead of \”Why are you so stupid? It\’s useless!\”, it is more effective to replace it with \”You might do better if you try harder. Mom and Dad believe in you.\” Parents of ruined children usually say these four sentences ②: \”You are so shameful, why do you still have to be ashamed?\” When children grow up, they do certain things without knowing that this behavior is wrong. , let alone fully understand what will be \”embarrassing\” if you do something wrong. But when parents speak to their children in a harsh and sarcastic tone, that\’s when the children really feel embarrassed and useless. The harmfulness of \”You are so shameful, why do you still need shame?\” Whether the sentence \”You are so shameful, why do you still need shame\” is \”embarrassing the child\” or \”the face of the parents\”, some people can know by asking themselves. If parents often use such language, it will make their children feel that \”I am wrong, I am a bad child.\” As time goes by, children will tend to suppress their emotions, become inferior and introverted, and become distrustful of themselves.Negative effects such as low self-esteem and submissiveness in doing things. It is more effective to say this: Your behavior is not good, and your parents must help you correct this behavior. If your child has a behavioral mistake, blindly blaming and insulting the child will not only fail to achieve the desired effect of the parent, but will also cause many counterproductive effects. It is more effective to replace \”You are so embarrassed, you still have to be embarrassed\” with \”Your behavior is not good, your parents must help you correct this behavior together\”. It can not only help children understand where they went wrong, but also make them willing to correct their mistakes, killing two birds with one stone. Parents of ruined children usually say these four sentences ③: \”You will never have any future in this life.\” Whether a child has future success or not depends half on the family and half on his or her own efforts. The family plays a very important role in guiding the growth of children. If parents often insult their children for being hopeless, the children may indeed enter the \”cage\” you have set up in the future and feel that they have no future. \”You will never achieve anything in your life.\” What parents need to know is that if their children are often scolded as being useless, their children may really become useless. When a child encounters difficulties and challenges and fails, this is a necessary process in life for the child. At this time, the parents not only fail to encourage, but also use sarcasm and sarcasm, which can easily lead to the child shrinking from things in the future, having no ambition, and being afraid of difficulties. , really became hopeless and accomplished nothing. It’s better to say it like this: Learn to persevere when you have difficulties, and you may receive unexpected results. No matter how big or small it is, for children, every progress they make in their growth is based on challenges, and it is inevitable that there will be There are times of failure and loss. When a child fails, if the parent scolds the child, the child may never recover and lose the courage to stand up and work hard again, let alone face greater difficulties and obstacles in the future. Replacing \”You will never achieve anything in your life\” with \”Learn to persevere when you have difficulties, maybe you will receive unexpected results\” can not only give the child the strength to inspire the child to overcome difficulties and setbacks, but also serve as a motivational factor for the child. effect. Parents should use the correct language to guide, so that their children will become more courageous and achieve success in the future. Parents of ruined children usually say these four sentences ④: With a personality like yours, who would like you? Children like to be liked and affirmed by others. Children who grow up isolated from society are prone to various personalities and psychological problems. It is not conducive to growth, and it is not conducive to healthy physical and mental development. When parents face character problems in their children, the methods of cracking down and stimulating them will not only fail to make the children face up to their own character problems, but will also make the child\’s character more extreme. \”With a personality like yours, who would like you?\” Harmful \”With a personality like yours, who would like you?\” When faced with children\’s personality problems, parents try to correct their children\’s personalities by using methods of crackdowns and stimulation. Not only do they It is difficult to achieve good results, and it will also produce these harmful effects: children become more aggressive, irritable, have low self-esteem and introversion, are not good at sociability, and even go further and further down the road of deteriorating personality. It’s better to say it this way: as long as you are not selfish and complaining, your friends will like your children more as they grow up or more.Various personality problems may occur, such as selfishness, stinginess, complaining, etc. These are relatively common personality problems. Using stimulation or blows to force a child to change his personality will not only be ineffective, but will tend to make the child even worse. Replace \”With a personality like yours, who would like you\” with \”As long as you are not selfish and complaining, your friends will like you more\”. It can not only tell the children what problems there are, but also let the children understand what they should correct to achieve the desired results. How do parents communicate with their children? The most acceptable way of education for children. Mobi What parents need to know is: yelling, scolding and criticizing education can be used at certain times, but it cannot be used every day or often. Improper education methods will inevitably cause psychological problems in children, but they have not yet appeared at the current age. \”Children rely on guidance, not criticism.\” Parents who do not want to ruin their children must not say the above four sentences.