7 principles of interpersonal communication, the sooner you teach them to your children, the better

A few days ago, I was chatting with my cousin from college about a very unpopular girl in their dormitory: her alarm clock kept ringing in the morning, and she refused to turn it off when she woke up. She didn\’t care about other people\’s feelings at all; she stayed up all night playing games. He also plays various shouts in a foreign voice, never considering the people who are already sleeping in the bed; if his roommate has a little privacy, it will quickly spread throughout the class, and he even uses other people\’s privacy to make fun of them, without any regard for other people\’s feelings; She has no sense of boundaries and likes to \”borrow\” other people\’s toilet paper and shampoo without ever returning it;…listening to my cousin counting the seven deadly sins of this \”girl\”, I can\’t help but think about what kind of family environment it is like. Only then can we raise children with such low emotional intelligence who only care about themselves and no one else! It is inevitable for everyone to invest in interpersonal relationships. If you don\’t even have the most basic courtesy, respect, and sense of boundaries, it will be difficult to gain respect from others and gain friendship. \”Nursing Choices\” says: Every child has his or her own personality and characteristics. Reasonable and scientific rules will not only not obliterate their nature, but will also allow them to grow up healthier and benefit from them throughout their long lives. many. Today we are going to talk about the rules that we should pay attention to in social interaction. The earlier we teach them to our children, the more they will benefit! Because there are a lot of upbringings hidden deep in one’s bones that are really not something you can “get good at when you grow up” or “understand when you grow up”. Learn to use polite language \”If you don\’t learn etiquette, you can\’t stand up.\” In daily life, remind your children to say \”thank you\” when others provide help and \”sorry\” when disturbing others! These polite phrases should not only be practiced with strangers, but also with families. A complete set of eloquence training and communication skills courses MP4 that has influenced 100,000 teenagers. Many parents believe that politeness is external, so they do not use polite words at home. In fact, polite language is also very necessary at home. For example, when you wake up in the morning, you need to say \”good morning\” to your elders. If you accidentally knock down your child\’s building blocks, you need to say \”sorry\” to your child. If your child hands us something, you need to say \”thank you\” to your child. Only when politeness is around them, children will not think that politeness is a strange thing. Moreover, parents are their children’s first teachers. Your words, deeds, and actions all invisibly infect and nurture your children. Unless it is an urgent matter, do not interrupt other people\’s conversations. Hemingway said: \”It only takes us two years to learn to speak, but it takes a lifetime to learn to shut up.\” It is true. When parents are communicating with other people, the child always interrupts and makes trouble. If the child\’s requirements are not met, he will not give up. In fact, it is also impolite to express your opinions eagerly without waiting for others to finish their words. There is a student in the class of a teacher friend who always likes to interrupt the teacher during class. He rushes to answer before the teacher has finished speaking. Enthusiasm is good, but it can be a nuisance to teachers and other students. British poet Ben Jonson once said: \”Language can best expose a person. As long as you speak, I can understand you.\” Being able to speak can show a person\’s cultivation; but keeping one\’s mouth can better reflect a person\’s self-cultivation. Upbringing tells children that if you need an adult to pay attention to you immediately, you can say \”I\’m sorry\” and thenJoin the conversation politely and with frequency. Don’t touch other people’s things without permission. If there is a kind of naughty child that adults hate the most, then a child who likes to rummage through things will definitely be at the top of the list. When you go home and open your bedroom door and see the scene in front of you, will you be so angry that you burst into tears? My famous lipstick is used as a \”crayon\” by naughty children for drawing. Forget about using it for drawing, the important thing is to use it! Break! Got it! I bought two Casio watches and beats headphones that I had worked hard to save for, which cost at least 5,000 yuan, but I couldn\’t bear to watch them being ruined by naughty children! A girl witnessed these tragic scenes with her own eyes! This thing was going to happen to Ms. Qiao, and she was so angry on the spot! It is the most basic courtesy not to touch other people\’s things without permission, and it also cultivates children\’s sense of boundaries. You must abide by the rules in public places. Have you ever had this experience: in a movie theater, the children next to you kept asking questions loudly and kicking chairs? In a restaurant, several children chased and fought, and even made ear-piercing screams. ; On the bus or subway, the child next to you is jumping around or crying non-stop. In fact, this situation is very common. And probably not many people would welcome such a child except his mother. Children need the freedom to stretch their nature, but they must have rules and regulations in public places: that is, they must not hinder other people. Because only by respecting others, taking care of other people\’s feelings, and having empathy will you be welcomed and respected by others. So, when a child is running alone in the square to vent his energy. He can completely let him have as much fun as he wants, but there must be rules when playing in theaters or other public places, or playing games with others. Follow the rules in public and help your children slowly develop empathy and learn to recognize and care for the feelings of others. The child will not become an annoying person who only cares about himself and not others. Respect others and don’t laugh at other people’s “shortcomings.” Lu Xun said: I thought others respected me because I was excellent. Slowly I understood that others respect me because they are excellent, and excellent people know how to respect others. There was an uncle in the neighbor\’s house who couldn\’t walk and swayed because of his disability. The child shouted loudly next to him: \”Do you think that uncle walks like a duck?\” The parents quickly followed the child and apologized: \”The kid is ignorant!\” I also liked to laugh at my classmates at school. There was a little boy in the class who was getting fatter. He called them \”fatty\” every day. Because of his \”bad mouth\”, the children in the class don\’t like to play with him. Childish words seem to be a golden shield for children, but failure to provide timely guidance can lead to big mistakes. \”Every child is a born linguist. The only difference lies in whether they receive enough attention and guidance from their parents when they are young.\” Only by learning the rules of language from an early age can children avoid bad habits in language. Do not complain casually, unless it is a major matter. When children begin to have certain social communication skills and follow our teachings to be a good child who obeys the rules and behaves appropriately, what are the most common behaviors? Complaints must be at the top of the list (especially in kindergarten or school). Such as \”He doesn\’t want to share toys with me\”, \”He just hitAre you tired of hearing things like \”My sister stole the cookies\” and \”My sister stole the cookies\”? As for the child, he may still chatter endlessly, and sometimes even get excited about complaining. For this kind of behavior of the child, Most parents will choose to ignore it, but we all know that people who like to complain and gossip are often not welcomed by their peers and are often isolated because of it. If we don\’t want complaining to develop into a bad habit, we need to cultivate it Children\’s discrimination and problem-solving abilities. Tell children to distinguish between \”what matters need to be reported and what matters need to be solved by oneself\”. Children must understand that major events involving safety issues must be reported to adults in time. For example: when a child is robbed because of a toy When complaining, we can prompt him, \”Are you injured?\” or \”Did something get damaged?\” If the child\’s answer is no, then we need to teach him effective ways to replace the complaint. We can tell the child : “You know it’s good to ask an adult for help when you have a problem. However, I think you can solve this matter by yourself. What are you going to do? \”If the child cannot answer, we will prompt him what to do, such as telling the other party: \”I don\’t like you grabbing my toys\”, \”I am very angry\”, or just leave and play somewhere else.\” In fact, children are not I really like to complain. When they learn problem-solving strategies and feel good about themselves, they won\’t complain again and again. Decisively refuse \”requests\” that make you uncomfortable. Learning to say \”no\” to others and being able to accept others saying \”no\” to you is a very important ability in social interaction. In reality, how many people have difficulty with rejection. They clearly have something on their mind and cannot work overtime, but they say yes. They clearly want to go east, but people follow them to the west… Some people are deeply in the pain of being unable to refuse, some are eager to change and learn to refuse, some don\’t know how to refuse, and some may never refuse in their lives. Teaching children to refuse does not make them selfish and indifferent, but allows them to bravely refuse unreasonable requests. People who know how to say no are more likely to have stable and healthy friendships. There is this passage in Dr. Dobson\’s book \”The Courage to Discipline\”: \”If there is a railing on the edge of the cliff, then people dare to lean on the railing and look down, because they will not be afraid of falling. If there is no railing, everyone will I stopped very far away from the cliff, let alone standing on the edge of the cliff and looking down.\” This railing is the \”rule\”. Rules allow people to have boundaries in their behavior and thus have relative freedom. Establish rules in interpersonal communication, such as speaking properly when you have something to say, not hitting others or grabbing other people\’s things; being polite when visiting other people\’s homes, and not messing with other people\’s things… Let your children learn to respect others and consider others. Feelings, polite and educated. It is through various rules that children can have a more mature and profound understanding of the world, break the limitations of being self-centered, be sensible, empathetic, speak and behave appropriately, and become a well-educated person with three correct views. . When it comes to educating your children, it is your responsibility as a parent. Children\’s nature cannot be suppressed, but politeness is also necessary for education. Raise an educated personMy child, be a person who is not disliked by others. There is a long way to go, but we must do it!