7 steps to help children realize their sense of self-worth

Give children sufficient attention and attention. Some people think that paying attention to children means working hard to earn money for them and taking care of their children\’s food and clothing… But now we have to face a problem that, in addition to material meticulousness, do you pay attention to your children? Life itself? What is important to a life? Attention means that you can truly see the child in your eyes, see him as he is, rather than the child you expect, the child you compare, or the objectified child. If you can truly see your child, your child will build a sense of self-worth that will accompany him throughout his life through your attention and concern for life. Children need to be noticed and valued, all to establish one thing – \”No matter what happens, I am valuable.\” 1. Parents\’ attitudes will affect the child\’s self-image. The first characteristic of children after birth , is to be one with the world. The baby is completely symbiotic with the mother when he is in the mother\’s womb. This is his only experience. After birth, this symbiosis experience is transferred to the entire world. The baby does not even know that he has arms and legs. Since the baby has not separated himself from the caregiver, if the caregiver is unhappy, the child will be unhappy; if the caregiver has emotions, the child will have emotions. Children naturally copy the inner world, psychology and emotions of their parents. When their parents have a bad attitude, the children will think that they are not good. Babies are naturally like this, so your inner world directly affects your child. The impact is not just what you say, but your inner state of being. We experience inner states all the time in our lives. For example, a person said angrily: \”I was talking to so-and-so yesterday. He put the thing in his hand on the chair and said something to me. That sentence was very He\’s polite, but I know he doesn\’t treat me as a human being.\” He felt that the other person didn\’t value him, and that the other person\’s actions and gestures hurt his sense of self and made him feel uncomfortable. The key to the internal environment for children to live in depends on whether the caregiver\’s psychological state is mature. There are many adults who are still stuck in childhood psychologically, hoping that others will value them as much as their mothers do, and cannot accept it when the other party cannot perform as expected. This phenomenon seems to be more obvious among Chinese people. In a psychological training course held by a foreign teacher, the teacher never understood why the students did not pay attention to asking questions, but tried hard to express themselves. One day he finally said: \”Please take your attention away from yourself and put it on one thing.\” I found that many people didn\’t understand the meaning of this sentence. Everyone wanted to attract the teacher\’s attention, but they couldn\’t. Focus on the event itself. When our growth only focuses on the development of the mind, thinking and cognition, and leaves the psychological, emotional and emotional development lacking, so that the heart stays in the state of childhood, the result is this. 2. Work allows children to confirm their own value. Children confirm their self-worth through work. The so-called work is any operation that is spontaneous, purposeful and focused by the child. When a child enters a working state, he begins to experience a complete process of understanding things. This process makes children very satisfied and confident. Therefore, we must prepare an adequate environment and sufficient materials for our children to meet his current work needs.Be sure to give your children something to do. If children are always allowed to do things that adults consider important, always instill in them adult learning concepts, and are not allowed to engage in work that they are interested in, it will be difficult for children to gain a good sense of self-worth. 3. Introduce your children to others In any social situation, we must formally introduce our children to each other. Once, a friend came to the house. After I introduced him, he extended his hand to his son and kept waiting to shake his hand. My son watched for a long time, and I knew he was at a loss, but his friend gave him time and space to adjust. When he adjusted and knew what to do, he finally stretched out his hand and shook his friend\’s hand. Later, I took my 9-year-old child to a class reunion. When I introduced my son to others, he naturally took the initiative to shake hands with others. In an equal social atmosphere, he is learning and using politeness. When you treat your child as an important person in the relationship and make your child feel valued, your friends will treat your child with respect. This state will leave a deep memory for the child and make the child valuable. and the feeling of being loved. 4. Let children speak for themselves. Valuing children is not about \”you value\”, but about making children feel that they are valued. The core content is to allow children to express themselves and exercise their own will. Because people themselves are the product of consciousness, if a child can express his consciousness, and his consciousness is valued and respected, and this consciousness can be implemented by the child himself and his family, this psychological process will make the child feel better about life. To: I am important, I am recognized and valued, and my consciousness can be manipulated by me. And this manipulated consciousness forms will. The next time the child does it, he will gradually become stronger by virtue of his will, and the true sense of value is contained in his will. Therefore, we suggest that parents of children should give their children a chance to explain when something happens, and give them a chance to tell the truth regardless of their motives. I observed the relationship between many parents and their children, and found that there was a lack of real communication between parents and children. There was no dialogue between the two parties. Instead, as soon as they spoke, the parents lectured their children: You are not doing this right, do you see it? I told you…parents rarely listen equally to what their children are saying. At this time, parents are not parents, but play the role of educators, judges, and adjudicators. A mother recorded her child\’s father\’s experience of accompanying her child. She wrote: My lover rarely spends time with my daughter and me at home. Today, he can finally accompany my daughter and I to watch TV together, watching \”Pinocchio.\” When Pinocchio lied, his nose grew rapidly. Seeing this, the husband immediately said to his daughter: \”Did you see it? Lying will make you grow a long nose!\” The daughter heard what her father said: \” Dad, no, you can\’t win other people\’s trust by lying.\” The husband was very embarrassed. After watching for a while, my husband said again: \”Did you see it? He is a bad person.\” As a result, my daughter retorted: \”Dad, that\’s not the case…\” I gave my husband a hard look, and I really hoped that he would stop. say. That\’s it, dad and kid stay together, always want to take the opportunity to educate children. Many parents are either judges, educators, or judges, but do not play the role of father or mother. If you want your children to become truly independent, you must let them speak for themselves when problems arise. I especially love to listen to symphonies and watch ballet. I think my child should also be edified, and I always try to get him to go by coaxing him. Once, I bought him a ticket, but he refused to go. I told him that the ticket was very expensive and I would try my best to mobilize him to go. My son said: \”I want you to know that I don\’t mean to let you waste money, but you must learn to respect me.\” 5. Choosing and respecting children\’s opinions When I encounter some problems, I often ask my son to help me with advice. Sometimes his ideas are really good, so I take them and pay him. It was a great experience for both of us, I got advice on how to solve the problem, and he got the experience of taking his own perspective seriously. Therefore, there are some decisions about family activities that should involve children. For example, where to go to play on weekends, how to decorate the child\’s room, buy daily necessities, etc., can be discussed as a family. If you think your child\’s suggestions are good and realistic, adopt your child\’s suggestions. This gives him an opportunity and experience to know that his point of view is important. This is equivalent to giving children an opportunity to construct and generate will and complete the entire process of psychological activities. 6. Spend time with children. Many parents complain that they don’t have time and say: “For the sake of my children, I go out to work every day. It’s very hard. I make money for my children.” I often ask them: “When do you fall in love with someone? \”What is your greatest wish?\” \”Be with him.\” \”You say you love your child, but you are not with him?\” Love is not a concept, not an idea. Love is truly wanting to be together, wanting to be with him and not wanting to be apart. this is Love. Love is not passed on to our children through our hard work, but by spending time with them to make them truly feel loved. 7. Peer-to-peer communication In my family, when the children were older, we would directly hand over the home appliances to our sons to take care of after we bought them. Some home appliances are very complicated to install, so we will pay them, such as 100 yuan to install a cabinet. My son quickly asked his classmates for help. After completing something, he would be very happy and satisfied. In addition to life matters, sometimes when I encounter emotional problems, I will also communicate with my children on an equal footing. One time, my son didn\’t want to go to school, but I didn\’t want him to take leave, so I asked him why? Top 10 Bestseller List Li Zhongying Comprehensive Parent-Child Relationship Skills e-book He said: \”I am in a bad mood.\” I said: \”If you are in a bad mood, you don\’t want to go to school. That can\’t be a reason, right?\” He cried, and then said to me Said: \”I remember one time you were in a bad mood and rested at home for three days! I don\’t understand why you can take three days to adjust your mood, but I can\’t take half a day!\” The son said very reasonably, Everyone has the right to adjust in their own way when they are in a bad mood. So I asked him to take time off, and for half a day we discussed his emotions and why he didn\’t want to go to school, and we had a good sharing. we want childrenWhen you understand something, you must find a suitable event in your life and then communicate with your child on an equal footing.