7 ways to truly love your children, those who do 4 are good parents

The movie \”Catch a Baby\” released some time ago tells the story of a family: In order to help his son grow up, the rich man Ma Chenggang specially created a \”poor\” growth environment for his children. He has planned the future growth direction for his son, monitors the child\’s every move every day, and also hired an education team to analyze the child\’s every word and deed. As long as there is a slight deviation in the child, Ma Chenggang and the entire education team behind him will immediately sound an \”alarm\”. Knowing that his son loved running, Ma Chenggang spent the whole night trying to find ways to interfere and find someone to deceive his son and prevent him from becoming a professional athlete. In order to temper his son\’s will, Ma Chenggang asked him to make money for the family by picking up bottles, but this also caused his son to be mercilessly laughed at by his classmates. Under this series of absurd behaviors, the son\’s spiritual world almost collapsed, and he just wanted to stay away from this suffocating family. It\’s really sad. Many parents think that they \”love\” their children deeply, but in fact, their children cannot feel it at all. True love is not \”for your own good\” imposed by parents, but the mutual maintenance, respect, attention, and understanding between parents and children. The following 7 ways for parents to truly love their children are shared with you here. Regarding communication, talk less and listen more. Many parents feel that they often communicate with their children. In fact, if you think about it, what they basically say is this: \”Have you finished your homework? Have you checked in for reading? Have you finished the paper? Have your children made trouble in class?\” When I want to share a fun thing with you, my parents are still busy without raising their heads. If things go on like this, children will become less and less willing to communicate with their parents. I read a story before: There was a mother whose throat was inflamed and her voice became hoarse and she could not speak. On this day, my son came back from school and said, \”Mom, the teacher criticized me today. I don\’t want to go to school anymore.\” The mother wanted to criticize her child, but because she couldn\’t speak, she could only stare. The son continued: \”The teacher said that I copied my homework from my deskmate. In fact, I wrote it myself. Why can\’t the teacher see my efforts?\” As he said this, the son cried in grievance. The mother had no choice but to Neng silently hugged his son. After the son finished crying, he suddenly said: \”Mom, thank you.\” She was stunned for a moment, and the son said again: \”Thank you for listening to me for listening to so many words today. I will definitely continue to work hard.\” The mother did not say a word, He just listened silently, but gained his son\’s sincere recognition and gratitude. Too many parents are accustomed to making their own voices heard in the family and trying to find ways to get their children to listen to them. In fact, only by learning to shut up and listen can children truly open up. Regarding making mistakes, blame less and be more tolerant. A few days ago, I saw a 4 or 5-year-old boy downstairs being scolded by his father. It turned out that the boy had uprooted several flowers in his garden. They were rare varieties that his father specially bought from the flower market! The boy explained with aggrieved face: \”I just want to see what they look like under the soil…\” But the father couldn\’t listen at all and shouted angrily: \”You are not allowed to enter the garden again!\” Then he took the child back home. . How many parents will only give their children a simple and rough scolding like this father did when their children make mistakes. This not only hurts the childThe fragile mind of the child deprives the child of the opportunity to grow. In fact, \”making mistakes\” is the only way for children to make progress as they grow. Even if a child makes a mistake, parents should not criticize and scold them. The important thing is to teach the child how to recognize the mistake and learn from it. Allow children to explore, try and make mistakes, correct, and grow! A child bathed in love and acceptance can develop infinite strength and courage, and grow into a child with love in his heart and light in his eyes. Regarding companionship, be less perfunctory and be more patient. The \”White Paper on Family Parent-child Companion\” shows such data: When accompanying their children, 49% of parents never participate in what their children are doing. Among them, 47.6% of parents do \”part-time\” housework, and 38.4% of parents often \”check Moments and check Weibo.\” This kind of \”formal companionship\” lacks the flow of love, is too perfunctory, and is just a kind of interference for the children. True companionship is to be connected with the child and taste the \”ups and downs\” of growing up. Writer Liu Yong once said bluntly: \”The most important thing in family education is companionship. From childhood to adolescence, we must accompany the children to share happy times, laugh with them, and grow together.\” No matter how busy he is at work, he will try his best to spare time, Accompany one more pair of children. Liu Yong would often take his son to play in the wild, dig bugs and plant vegetables together. The father and son would often compete in long jump, running, netball, etc. He would put makeup on his daughter, play house and piano with her, and lead her Doing scientific experiments, etc… With their father by their side, the two children became independent, optimistic and confident. Don\’t use busy work as an excuse. High-quality companionship can make children feel loved and make the family warm and harmonious. Regarding learning with less supervision and more demonstrations, child education expert Yang Jie once shared a case. When a boy first entered first grade, his mother watched him do his homework every day. The boy felt irritable. When doing his homework, he always fumbled here and there, and would not move unless his mother urged him. As time passed, he simply ignored his mother\’s urging and ran to play on his own, always putting off his homework until very late. The mother was so angry that she could only hit him, but the child became more and more rebellious. If the mother hit him once, he would hit her twice. In fact, the mother and son often confront each other all night long, and the last stroke of the child\’s homework is left untouched. Who doesn’t want to raise a good child who takes the initiative and learns consciously? However, parents blindly supervising or even yelling and scolding cannot truly allow children to learn independently. Sometimes they can also cause children to be resistant and rebellious, and deliberately contradict their parents. There is a child in the second grade of junior high school whose grades in Chinese and science are a mess. What should his father do if he asks the teacher for advice? The teacher replied: Spend more time with your children and study with them. The father immediately took action, giving up working overtime on weekends and studying with his son in the study room next to the school. While his son was reading classics, his father was reading construction engineer textbooks. A year later, his son\’s Chinese scores improved and his father passed the second construction exam. Then my son continued to study science and was admitted to a key high school as he wished. His father also successfully obtained the first-class construction engineer certificate. If they want to raise self-disciplined children, parents must first manage themselves well and set a good example for their children; only in this way can they be successful in governingIn getting along day and night, it brings a subtle influence and subtle influence on the children. Regarding personality, be less critical and more tolerant. Every child has his own personality, especially adolescent children, who always have their own unique interests and ideas. However, many parents always want to use authority to suppress their children\’s personality, constantly scolding and scolding their children, and transforming them into \”good children\” in their minds. Blogger @callme22 talked about his own experience. Once, she wore black and green lipstick, lip nails, and her own non-mainstream outfit to a family gathering. Most parents would ridicule or even prevent their children from dressing up like this. But instead of being discriminated against or disciplined by everyone, she was also praised and appreciated: 22 asked: \”Grandma, do you think I look good?\” Grandma replied: \”I look good, like a little parrot.\” She asked again: \” Mom, am I beautiful?\” My mother and aunt also replied firmly: \”You are so beautiful, so handsome!\” You can imagine how happy the children must be living in such a family atmosphere. Some psychologists have said: Parents have only one task, and that is to help their children increase their inner strength and make them more capable and courageous to face the future world. Today\’s children are independent, individual, have a rich inner world, and have a strong sense of self. Don\’t judge or suppress, and use a tolerant and understanding heart to discover the shining points of your child\’s personality. Only then can you have the opportunity to let your child stand out and find his or her own path to the future. Regarding choosing to be less involved and more respectful, many parents like to do everything for their children, believing that it is \”for the good of the children\”; but they do not know that the most important thing in parenting is to allow children to have the right to make their own decisions. Tokyo Olympic champion Yang Qian showed her talent for shooting when she was a child, and she was particularly accurate when hitting balloons. When Yang Qian was in elementary school, she met a shooting coach who was auditioning for the school, and she was selected without any suspense. However, Yang Qian\’s grades have always been very good. If she takes the path of an athlete, it will undoubtedly affect her studies. At this time, Yang Qian\’s parents chose to fully respect their daughter\’s wishes and let her make her own choice. In the end, it was Yang Qian who made her own decision to pursue shooting, and her parents also expressed their unconditional support. Later, when Yang Qian encountered difficulties and wanted to give up, her parents continued to give her encouragement and strength. I have read Wu Zhihong’s words: “Confidence does not mean believing in oneself, but self-confidence because of love.” Parents who really love their children should treat their children as independent individuals, fully respect their children’s choices, and let their children participate in decision-making. , encourage them to express themselves. This not only respects the children\’s personal rights, but also gives them unlimited confidence and courage. Regarding performance, be less harsh and encourage more. I read a piece of news. A boy scored 630 points in the exam, ranked fourth in the class, and ranked in the top 20 in grade. However, he was still scolded by his parents when he came home. Parents feel that the boy does not study hard enough and would be better off if he worked harder. The boy was particularly aggrieved. After a big quarrel with his parents, he ran away from home and squatted alone on the side of the road crying. You can imagine how aggrieved and sad this boy felt. In his heart, he must feel that his grades are the only criterion for his parents to love him. In contrast, a little girl with average grades happily told her mother: \”I got a C on today\’s exam. Her mother smiled happily, and her daughter was full of emotional value: \”Haha, it\’s D every time. This time I got C, praise!\” Awesome! Come on next time! How about trying to get a B~\” After a period of time, my daughter really got a B. In fact, every time the child fails to do well in the exam, he feels anxious inside. At this time, the encouragement and comfort from his parents are the best for him. Love. Parents should let their children feel that what they love has nothing to do with whether they are good or not. Only in this way can parents truly win their children\’s hearts. In the book, she once described love like this, she said: \”The significance of love to education is like light, which always shines on the entire education process. \”Only when a child truly feels the love of his parents and experiences heartfelt joy and happiness can he plant the seeds of hope in his heart and become attached to and reverent of life. Because love can inspire courage and strength. It can make the child\’s world full of sunshine and give the child the ability to gain happiness. Click \”Like\” and encourage all parents.