7 Ways You\’re Ruining Your Daughter\’s Future

Giving birth to a daughter is definitely a fashion. I often hear sisters around me say: \”The girl is so good, I want to have a daughter\”; \”The girl is so cute, and you can go shopping with me beautifully\”; \”I hope my second child is a daughter\” ; \”I read your articles and always say that having a son is so tiring. The boy is so naughty. I want to have a daughter.\” Of course, these are just words. Boys and girls are the same. These people are still happy to have a son~ But do we really know how to raise our daughters? Nowadays, society pays attention to equality between men and women, but it also means that the pressure of competition is the same. Is a well-behaved, quiet, and beautiful girl really enough? Anea Bogue from the United States holds a master\’s degree in literature, is a well-known educator, and founded the RealGirl seminar. She shares 7 parenting methods that may be preventing your daughter from reaching her full potential, and you may not even know about them. DO NOT 1. Teach her to be polite and be quiet There is a world of difference between being polite and being taciturn and being quiet, but it seems like girls are often pushed into the latter realm. \”Girls are honey, spice, and everything good,\” Berg said. “We teach girls in various ways that being nice, avoiding conflict, not annoying others, and being content with the status quo are all necessary to be a lovable good girl/woman.” The impact on her future : Clearly, this mentality can lead to women not striving for higher salaries. Because they don’t want to offend a potential employer, or be seen as less than ladylike by not speaking up in class when they’re studying, or being silent in meetings after work. How to avoid it: While we all want our children to be well-mannered, don’t forget to teach your daughter that it’s okay to debate, disagree, and negotiate, especially among peers—with good manners, of course. Encourage her from kindergarten through college to speak up in class, state her opinion, and then be prepared to defend it. DO NOT 2. Buy her toys with clear gender colors. Only give her pink toys before she is 3 years old. Your child may think that pink is her favorite color because \”that\’s what girls like.\” \”. In fact, research suggests that parents and other social factors, rather than innate genetic predispositions, are the real cause of children\’s preference for gender-specific toys. Impact on her future: This is important, one survey found that 31% of \”girls\” toys are about makeup, including plastic cosmetic toys and doll clothing. Toys for boys, meanwhile, encourage invention, exploration, competition, flexibility and problem-solving—all qualities necessary for innovators and leaders. How to avoid it: Try to avoid lingering in just the aisle with Barbies and dolls in stores, and instead offer kids games and toys that encourage scientific discovery, competition, exploration and problem-solving. These are all good choices. DO NOT 3. The only compliment she can give her is that she is beautiful… nothing else is good.She is a cute doll, and her curly ponytail makes her look so cute that you can\’t help but praise her for being beautiful and cute. But she was really good at writing poetry, and she was also a construction wizard – she could build complex building blocks, and she even loved singing Beatles songs, and she could imitate playing the guitar while singing. Impact on her future: \”We live in a society that is very appearance-oriented, and unless your daughter is completely isolated from all media and school interactions, she will always understand that appearance is important,\” Berg said. “However, both parents can work together to reward, recognize, and show genuine appreciation for her achievements that are not based on appearance (academics, sports, music, etc.) so that the message is clearly sent—that her value is not How to avoid it: For every time you compliment your daughter on her appearance, compliment her on at least two achievements that are not based on her appearance. DO NOT 4. Train her to become a follower of the \”Princess Cult\”. Most of the princesses in real life are versatile and have real talents and learning. They speak several foreign languages ​​and have excellent diplomatic skills, but your daughter doesn\’t know that. All she knows is that the key to living happily ever after is having a voice beautiful enough to attract a prince to rescue her from a whole host of troubles. Impact on her future: \”Princess culture encourages girls to be damsels in distress, just waiting for a prince charming to fall from the sky, rescue her and bring value to her and her life.\” Berg said, \”We will always let girls They have this feeling that they are insignificant and worthless without being attached to men.” How to avoid it: It is almost impossible to completely block the princess culture from your daughter, and as long as you can send the right message to her, It’s really not necessary. Join her in the movie Brave, which tells the story of a princess who breaks a curse to save her country and herself—without turning to a man. If your daughter has fallen in love with traditional princess stories, be sure to point her out to all the awesome things the heroines themselves do. DO NOT 5. Leave all the physical work around the house to dad. It might be easier to have the man in the family open the pickle jar or fix the squeaky floorboards, but I guarantee you can do these things too if you put your mind to it. Influence on her future: “It’s important for parents to consciously challenge the typical gender division of labor,” says Berg, “especially those who always say that women are weaker than men, that women are caregivers rather than workers, repairmen, and The breadwinner. ” How to avoid it: Show your daughter you perform important financial maneuvers—something every mom should do—and be able to mow the lawn and open a pickle jar. Also avoid assigning chores based on gender. Also let your daughter mow the lawn and take out the trash, and let your son or husband do the dishes and vacuum. DO NOT 6. Only let her play with other girls. This issue is not limited to sending your daughter to an all-girls school. Still, it’s worth mentioning that research on all-girls schools points to aEducationally, girls\’ schools have advantages and disadvantages. A study shows that students who graduate from all-girls schools score higher on the SAT, are more confident, and are more likely to be engaged in their studies. But another, more game-changing report released last fall found that students graduating from all-girls schools were not only no more accomplished but also more likely to believe gender stereotypes. Impact on her future: The question is not just whether your daughter attends an all-girls school, but also extends to her life outside of school. Research actually shows that not only do preschoolers tend to draw clear boundaries with the opposite sex and play their own separate ways, this separation also causes boys and girls to develop two different sets of social skills, styles, expectations, and preferences—neither of which can help She one day makes it to the board of directors. How to avoid it: If your daughter is surrounded by girls at school and not a boy in sight, try encouraging her to develop friendships with a few boys outside of school, either with neighborhood kids or your friends\’ kids. For children, it is especially important to arrange for them to play with children of the opposite sex. Invite the boys to your daughter\’s birthday party or outing, and let her play on the nearby basketball court or join a coed sports team. She will learn that she can do everything boys do… and even more. DO NOT 7. Criticize your own body, or other women’s bodies. Healthy eating is a must for every mother and her daughter, so don’t overdo it. Don’t complain about your own body, or laugh at and criticize other people’s bodies. figure. Impact on her future: By discussing dieting in front of your daughter, complaining about how you need to lose a few more pounds, or criticizing other women\’s clothing choices given their body shapes, you send the message that women must be a certain shape to be Will be considered lovable and successful. How to avoid it: \”It\’s critical that we lead by example ourselves in what we want our daughters to be,\” Berg says. A healthy diet should look like this: Choose a balanced meal based on the nutritional value of the ingredients and the energy we need. Try not to buy low-fat foods or processed foods, and don\’t skip any meals. These are unhealthy and unsuccessful ways to lose weight and ruin your health.