8 words that mothers with high emotional intelligence often say

I believe that every parent has yelled at their children, got too angry with their children, and when we tried to change their children\’s thinking and get them to change their bad habits, we found that the children became more and more rebellious, and the parents also felt more and more resentful. The more powerless you are, why do your children always come after you? Maybe there\’s something wrong with your approach. Let us change our mood and talk to our children calmly. The effect may be completely different! 1. I feel… (emotion) because… Example: I feel very happy because your dad bought me a new skirt. Mothers should express their emotions more often. On the one hand, children will learn more emotional expressions and vocabulary; on the other hand, children are encouraged to express emotions like their mothers. Pay attention to giving reasons after expressing emotions, so that children can have a better understanding of each emotion. 2. Do you feel…(emotion)? Example: Are you feeling a little angry? Young children are not yet able to express and name their emotions. Mom helping to talk his emotions out is a great way to help children understand and regulate their emotions. On the one hand, it can help children better recognize and understand their own emotions; on the other hand, when children have negative emotions, helping children express their emotions can make children feel understood, and negative emotions can be easily resolved. 3. Do you mean… (restate what the other person said)? Example: Do you mean you really want to watch cartoons? Repeating your child\’s words can let your child know that you understand what he said and clearly understand his needs. In this way, the child will know that you have received the message he wants to convey, and he will not continue to \”harass\” you relentlessly. More importantly, this is a sign of empathy. Mothers often tell their children with such high emotional intelligence that children will also learn to understand and repeat the meaning of others and gain empathy. 4. I think you are a… (praise) child because… (specific behavior) Example: I think you are a kind child because you gave up your seat to the old lady on the subway just now. Mothers with high emotional intelligence often praise their children, which will make them more confident. However, when praising your child, you should pay attention to praising the child\’s characteristics instead of general praises such as \”you are awesome\” and \”you are so smart\”. In addition, it is best to tell the specific behaviors and things so that the children know the reasons. Otherwise, the children will feel confused and the purpose of praise will not be achieved. 5. I think you are a very hard-working child. Example: I think you are a very hard-working child. You can try other methods next time you have the opportunity. When children are still young, many things cannot be accomplished. A principle of mothers with high emotional intelligence is to praise based on facts. If the child does not complete something, but the mother praises it against her will, it will actually make the child feel that the mother is insincere. Therefore, when a child does not do something well, we can praise his or her efforts so that he or she will be motivated to continue next time and not be so frustrated. 6. Doing this will be dangerous. Mom cares about you, so you… (the right thing to do), okay? Example: It will be dangerous if you do this. Mom cares about you very much, so you must hold her hand when crossing the road in the future, okay? when children doWhen some dangerous actions are taken, the mother will become furious because she is afraid that something will really happen to her child. They often criticize very harshly, \”Are you sick? You are not allowed to do this\” or \”You can\’t do this, it is too dangerous.\” Saying this often doesn\’t work well, as some children become rebellious and others are frightened. When reminding children of dangers, the most important message to convey is: This is all because your mother cares about your safety, rather than blaming you. In addition, don’t just stop your child’s current behavior, but provide him with appropriate suggestions. 7. Mom hopes you… (correct approach) because… Example: Mom hopes you can be quiet, because this is a library, a place where everyone can read quietly. When mothers with high emotional intelligence criticize inappropriate behavior of their children, they often do not stop it by saying \”no\”. A more appropriate approach is to say what changes you want your child to make so that he or she can make progress, rather than just constantly blaming wrong behavior. It is important to state the reasons why you want him to change, so that the child can truly be \”convinced\”. 8. Do you want… (option 1), or… (option 2)? Example: Do you want to go to the zoo this weekend, or have a big dinner at grandma’s house? Sometimes, we like to help our children make decisions, and at most we will ask: \”Do you want…\”. Mothers with high emotional intelligence will let their children do multiple-choice questions, giving them the right to make their own choices, and cultivating their children\’s ability to think independently. In addition, when we simply ask children if they want something, they can easily refuse. But when making a choice, they will often choose one of them. You can set the options cleverly so that no matter what the child chooses, it is the right one.