90% of parents do it wrong! Your love for your child is actually just fear

As parents, we sacrifice everything and only hope to create a better life for our children; we are always firmly confident that we are the only people in the world who will spend their entire lives loving their children. But have you seriously thought about this question: \”Too many times we educate our children not out of love, but out of fear.\” We are always afraid that our children will fall behind others, so we force them to learn piano, chess, calligraphy and painting, and feed them various kinds of food. Plant nutrients, but forget that each seed has a different flowering time. Tongtong is 6 years old this year and is an only second generation. From the moment he was born, the family has been determined to let their child win at the starting line. Tongtong grew up eating \”healthy food\” purchased from overseas; he attended a bilingual kindergarten that cost RMB 70,000 per year. Before entering elementary school, he studied piano, painting, calligraphy, Go, and Chinese studies. In the eyes of relatives and friends, Tongtong has been trained by his parents to become a child prodigy. However, behind the glamor, many people have overlooked that at only 7 years old, he has 400 degrees of myopia. He is mature and reserved beyond his age and cannot integrate into campus life. Tongtong\’s parents were afraid of letting him lose at the starting line, but they also made him lose the joy he deserved in childhood. Truly wise parents must learn how to love in a controlled manner. Only in this way can they obtain joy beyond hardship. We are always afraid that our children will take the wrong path in life, so we focus on teaching them skills and correcting their mistakes, but we forget that the most important element of the parent-child relationship is sharing happy time with the children. My friend\’s daughter, Tangtang, is very quiet and always cautious in doing things. My friend always thinks that children are born shy and will get better when they grow up. One day, Tangtang accidentally broke the bowl. Her friend was startled and instinctively pulled Tangtang back. But Tangtang still stood there blankly, looking down at the debris on the ground and crying, \”Mom, please hit me.\” The child\’s reaction surprised her friends. Later, she reflected on me and told me that she usually has strict requirements on Tangtang, and if she makes a small mistake, she will immediately correct her severely. I wanted to teach my children to have correct behavioral norms since childhood and avoid detours in the future, but I didn\’t expect that it would hurt the children\’s hearts. Truly mature parents must learn to love with tolerance and love with patience. Only in this way can they laugh and grow together with their children. We are always afraid that we are not perfect parents, so we devote everything to our children, but we always feel that our youth and blood have been sucked away by our children, and both ourselves and our children have become victims of growth. My roommate in college would have a huge quarrel with her mother every time she spoke on the phone. We are all surprised, because in the eyes of others, her mother is gentle, attentive, and always thinking about her. But in her description, her mother was negative, selfish, unable to communicate, and never considered her feelings. When she applied to volunteer, she chose the one farthest from home among several schools just to escape from her mother. \”I have sacrificed so much for you since I was a child, but you are so heartless and don\’t listen to me!\” said the roommate, which was the most common thing her mother said. My roommate always feels aggrieved: \”Could it be that my mother\’s sacrifice is just to let me live according to her ideas!\” Parents who truly love their children must learn to love equally. Children are not the sin that makes you lose your youth.The main culprit is the power to purify our hearts and allow us to meet a better self. It is fear that makes us become tiger mothers and wolf fathers who encourage young children; makes us become formidable strict mothers and fathers; makes us wrap our children into rice dumplings in early autumn; makes us take care of everything even when our children should be independent. \”Too often, we educate our children not out of love, but out of fear.\” We are afraid that one day in the future, they will be forced to a dead end by their daily necessities, their competitors will be squeezed to the end, and they will not be able to live a perfect life. However, there are so many people and so many things in the world, how can everything be perfect? ​​No one\’s life is always smooth sailing, just try your best. Hillary once said to her daughter: \”I am your mother for the first time, and you are my daughter for the first time. Let us take care of each other and grow together.\” Yes, the child is our child for the first time, so it is not They need to become three good students and four have young people in one step; we are their parents for the first time, so we don’t need to become good parents according to textbook standards in one step. Because we will grow up with our children, because meeting children means meeting a better version of ourselves!