A 14-year-old girl commits suicide twice in one month, and the reason behind it makes people break out in a cold sweat

Not long ago, a father rushed to the emergency department of Wuhan Children\’s Hospital with his daughter. He told the doctor that his 14-year-old daughter Qingqing had taken a bottle of liver-protecting medicine the night before. The medical staff immediately recognized the father and daughter. They had just come here some time ago because the girl deliberately took a variety of cold medicines and wanted to commit suicide. Less than a month later, Qingqing \”repeated her old tricks\” and wanted to end her life. Qingqing\’s father is a teacher. He divorced his wife when his daughter was 4 years old. After that, he raised Qingqing alone and devoted a lot of effort to his daughter. The hospital counselor asked Qingqing why she took medicine, and she said lightly: \”It\’s nothing, I just don\’t want to live anymore.\” After the counselor explained, Qingqing said, \”Because my father doesn\’t understand, and he doesn\’t listen to what I say. I always think I am right.\” Mr. Zhang was also full of grievances. He said that he had always loved Qingqing over the years, but Qingqing became increasingly disobedient. What worries him more is that Qingqing often discusses with her friends which way to die is better. I was shocked to see this news. On the one hand, I felt sad for Qingqing\’s indifference to life. A young girl should have a bright future, but she kept thinking about how to die. On the other hand, I am even more saddened by Mr. Zhang’s actions. As a teacher, although he wanted Qingqing’s best interests, he ignored Qingqing’s psychological growth and was unwilling to listen to the child’s voice, which resulted in alienation of the parent-child relationship and the child’s inability to survive. love. If you just flip through the news, you will see numerous cases of teenage suicide, and every one of them is shocking. In January 2018, a 15-year-old boy committed suicide by jumping off a building in Nanchang, Jiangsu, leaving a suicide note saying, \”I have brought a lot of laughter to the world, but I cannot bring joy to myself.\” In November 2017, Feng County, Jiangsu A 10-year-old girl committed suicide at home by drinking pesticide, leaving a handwritten suicide note and a farewell video. Although the suicide note said it was her own fault, she hoped her parents would stop arguing. In January 2017, a 15-year-old boy in Zhenxiong County, Yunnan Province committed suicide by drinking pesticide on New Year’s Eve. He left his last words, saying that dying was a relief for him. If he died, his father would be happy and he would not Something is bothering him. Behind the cold numbers are living lives. These teenage children were supposed to have a bright future. Why did they give up their lives so decisively? Combing through the few words left by these children, it is not difficult to see that the biggest reason that leads them to a dead end is their parents\’ incomprehension and intolerance towards them. When children want to talk to their parents about their inner feelings and get their parents\’ understanding and support, many parents arbitrarily tell their children that there is nothing wrong with listening to their parents. Being rejected again and again, and not being accepted again and again, the child\’s psychology will only become more and more closed. When the last straw comes, it will be the child\’s moment of despair. In \”Where Are We Going, Dad 5\”, Jordan Chan said that he rarely spent time with his son Jasper because he was busy with work, so his son was not close to him. As soon as the show started airing, Jordan Chan became a hot topic because he told Jasper to leave quickly with a black face. Many people saw Jasper\’s witty response, but I saw ChenXiaochun\’s subsequent changes. After saying sorry to his son on the spot, when Jasper brought up what happened during the day again in the evening, Jordan Chan sincerely apologized again and asked his son to forgive him. Later, the interaction between Jordan Chan and Jasper became smoother and smoother. It was because Jordan Chan understood the importance of communicating with his son that he won his son\’s trust and love. Child psychologist Qi Changcai said that parent-child communication is effective emotional communication between parents and children, including interactive communication in language, body and facial expressions. He emphasized that in the process of parent-child communication, it is very important whether parents squat down and communicate with their children on an equal footing. The reason why many parents have poor communication problems with their children is mainly because they do not first understand their children\’s inner thoughts. Children are eager to be understood and respected by their parents. They are willing to speak their true feelings to their parents, but many parents fail to listen carefully to their children\’s voices. No pair of parents wants their children to be troubled by their thoughts, let alone see their children go to a dead end, so as parents, we must have the awareness and actions to prepare for a rainy day. Squat down and communicate with your child on an equal footing. Italian early childhood educator Montessori believed that every child naturally has a spiritual embryo as soon as he is born. From the moment a child leaves its mother\’s body, it is an independent person with its own independent personality. He is not a vassal of his parents, nor is he a tool for his parents to realize their ideals. He is himself, a unique existence. The reason why Qingqing committed suicide twice within a month was because her father demanded that she be obedient and did not give Qingqing a chance to express her true feelings. Even when Qingqing resisted by committing suicide, the father, a people\’s teacher, complained full of grievances that he had paid a lot for Qingqing. He did not know how to respect the child\’s independent personality, let alone treat the child equally. We should understand that the child came to this world through us, but he is a thoughtful person, and we should respect his rights as a human being and respect his personality. Accept and tolerate your child\’s ideas. Why do some children like to talk to their parents less and less as they grow older? It’s not that the child doesn’t want to say it, but that what the child says will not be recognized by the parents and may even be criticized and criticized. Of course, the child is unwilling to say it again. Parents should take the initiative to create a harmonious and relaxed communication atmosphere so that children are willing to open up and communicate with their parents. Only in this way can children\’s psychological problems be solved. A 15-year-old boy in Xiong County, Yunnan Province just thinks that his existence has brought a lot of trouble to his parents, so he feels that it would be better to die. However, he has no idea about his parents’ love for him because his parents have never told him. . Love without expression does not exist. Some parents don\’t understand their children\’s true thoughts until they see their children\’s suicide notes, but by that time it\’s too late. If they want to avoid such a tragedy from happening again, parents should take the initiative to take the responsibility of communicating with their children. No matter how outrageous the child\’s words may be, parents should first accept their children\’s emotions and be tolerant of their children\’s thoughts, so that their children will be willing to share their inner feelings with you. Guide children to learn to channel their emotions. Psychology writer Wu Zhihong said that true love is seeingThe real existence of the child, discover the child\’s real needs, and help the child realize his needs. Watching a movie that your child likes, going for a bike ride in the countryside, or even holding the child\’s hand for a walk together will make the child understand that his parents\’ love for him will never change. When the child\’s mood is stable, you can have in-depth conversations with the child several times, negotiate together, find a solution acceptable to both parties, and put it into action. Taiwanese life education expert Lin Kunhui said that the most important thing for parents to do is to let their children love you so that they can think of their parents when they encounter problems. When a suicidal person has his parents in his heart, he will not choose to die. Only when there is no one in his heart worthy of his nostalgia, will he lose the motivation to survive. Psychologist Xu Tiansheng said that all \”problems\” are rooted in the fact that parents use control instead of respect, use orders instead of inspiration, use doubt instead of trust, leaving children with no way out in life and no love. Those children who gave up their lives must have found no way out in life and could not feel the love of their parents, so they chose to commit suicide. Wu Zhihong said that the rule at home is to cherish, and the way to achieve cherishment is to understand and accept. Parents must take up their responsibilities, understand and accept their children\’s inner world, so that their children can find an outlet in their confusion, learn to cherish life, and live a wonderful life that belongs to them.