A boy in Nanjing was slapped and suffered contusions on his outer ears and face. How should we deal with conflicts between children?

A few days ago, a video of a parent coming to the door and slapping a kindergarten child down went viral on the Internet. On November 9, according to a police report in Xuanwu District, Nanjing, Jiangsu Province, at about 19:00 on November 8, the parent Lu Moumou (male, 33 years old, a social employee of a hospital) was arrested because his son had an argument with a boy in his class in the kindergarten that morning. While robbing a toy, he was stabbed in the scalp by the other party, so he went to the other party\’s home to ask for an explanation. During this period, Lu Moumou became emotional and hit the boy on the face with his hand, causing him to fall on his back. The boy\’s grandfather, Zu Moumou, had a physical conflict with Lu Moumou holding a plastic chair and a wooden chair, and was pushed down by Lu Moumou, causing a broken leg. Currently, Lu Moumou is criminally detained by the public security organs in accordance with the law on suspicion of intentional injury, and the case is under further investigation. Must-read parenting books for parents recommended: Don’t Think You Understand Your Child’s E-book download. Ms. Tang, the mother of the boy who was slapped, said that the slapping behavior of the parents involved caused contusions on her son’s face and (left) outer ear, and his hearing was also affected. Further examination will be carried out; the child\’s grandfather has a fracture of the upper right fibula. On the afternoon of the 9th, the forensic doctor conducted an injury assessment on them. The parents\’ irrationality not only failed to resolve the conflicts between the children, but also caused them to be criminally detained. How should we recognize conflicts among children? How to deal with it? How to Correctly Understand Children’s Conflict. The so-called conflict refers to the opposition or confrontation in ideas, speech or behavior between relevant individuals or groups. It is a kind of stress that occurs when encountering setbacks or resistance in the process of meeting individual needs. Performance. Conflict is a common phenomenon in children\’s social activities. As a part of life, conflict accompanies the growth of young children and is one of their communication abilities. The example given above is a conflict between young children. People often view “conflict” in a negative light. In fact, \”conflict\” has a positive meaning; in many aspects, conflict is a necessary process for children to grow up. From the long-term observation of children\’s activities, we found that when children quarrel with others, they often say \”no\” loudly to the outside world, which is often the beginning of children\’s \”self-assertion\”; children \”fight\” for toys with others, or hit others. Or being beaten is for \”self-assertion\” and \”self-protection\”; children practice the rules and skills of \”interpersonal relationships\” from conflict after conflict. Child psychology believes that conflict can promote individual change, adaptation and development, especially in the development of social cognition. Conflict can not only improve children\’s cognitive development, help children improve their problem-solving abilities and accumulate life experience, but also help improve children\’s communication and cooperation abilities. Not only for young children, this kind of conflict between peers may be a required course for children as they grow up. How to Correctly Handle Conflicts among Children Conflicts between children are inevitable. How should parents deal with them? When dealing with conflicts between children, there are usually the following misunderstandings: protecting one\’s shortcomings, which will not only escalate small conflicts into disputes between parents, but also play a negative role in guiding the physical and mental development of children; being too modest, In order to calm the situation, he tried his best to ask his children to be humble without asking clearly why. As a result, not only did the problem not be solved, but the wronged child was made even more wronged; instead,Overprotective parents deprive children of the opportunity to solve problems on their own and seriously affect their physical and mental development. Parents must keep in mind the following five points: 1. Determine whether this is a \”normal conflict\” between children or an injury incident. Many of children\’s fights are part of games. They will occasionally pull their companions\’ pigtails and pat their shoulders. But because they don\’t know how to control the speed of these movements, they sometimes cause some injuries. Parents can usually remind their children not to move excessively when playing, and not to touch the other\’s more vulnerable parts of the body, such as eyes. But if children\’s play does not cause safety accidents, parents do not need to take the fight between children too seriously. 2. Do not directly intervene to warn the other party or impose punishment when there is a dispute between children. The process of their own handling of problems is also a process of training them to deal with interpersonal relationships. Parents may hear only one-sided stories from their children and may not understand the ins and outs of the matter. If they intervene directly, it will make the matter more troublesome and complicated. 3. Guide children to find ways to solve problems. When children don’t know how to deal with conflicts with their friends and ask parents for help, parents should guide children to find ways to solve problems, and follow the rules when determining the final solution. The following principles: If the matter is serious, you should discuss solutions with the teacher and the other parent. If the responsibility lies with you, you should take the initiative to apologize to the other party. If the responsibility lies with the other party, you should clearly tell the child that this is a wrong behavior to prevent the child from imitating it, and encourage the child to be more open-minded and not to worry about it. If it is a matter of principle, children should be educated to learn to use appropriate methods to fight for their own rights. 4. Communicate with the other parent skillfully and encourage the children to interact normally. It is best for both parents to talk sincerely, understand each other, and solve problems amicably. Children are the most keen observers. Children see everything their parents say and do, and leave a deep impression on their parents on their young hearts. Solving problems amicably can make children feel infected, turn conflicts into friendship, and prevent them from becoming \”little bullies\” as they grow up. Parents should not restrict their children from interacting with peers just because they often have quarrels and disputes. They should create conditions to encourage children to interact with others, so that children can gain experience in conflicts and disputes and increase their experience in interacting with others. 5. Parents are not encouraged to intervene, but this does not mean that parents should sit back and watch. In some situations, such as when children are in danger or conflicts with classmates cannot be resolved for a long time, parents need to understand, participate, and help children coordinate. fixed. If you need to intervene, remember to relax your mind and adopt a helping attitude instead of taking the initiative to replace the assistant. When your child asks you for help, ask your child: \”What do you want me to do for you?\” After listening to your child\’s request, parents should provide opportunities for your child to experience some positive solutions, such as \”No deal without a fight\” and \”Handshake.\” \”Yanhe\” and so on. Although parents are not encouraged to intervene, it does not mean that parents should sit back and do nothing. Parents should express trust and support to their children. They can say to their children, \”I believe you can find a way to handle this matter\” and encourage them to solve the problem on their own.How to prevent your children from being bullied or bullying others? The editor learned that some parenting experts mentioned that rough and tumble games between parents and children can help children. Increased Confidence and Strength Children will increase their confidence and strength while playing rough and tumble. Of course, the best person to fight with is his father. When children are young, children sometimes fight just to prove their strength. The child \”pressed down\”, \”pushed\” the father…etc., etc., will enhance the child\’s self-confidence and also exercise the child\’s strength. Obeying the rules In confrontation, children can better understand what the rules are? For example, many parents usually tell their children, \”You can\’t fight. Children who fight are bad children.\” As a result, obedient and well-behaved children will abide by this rule of no fighting. Often when I was bullied to the point of being bullied, I would just tolerate it and cry silently without saying a word. But the rules for slapstick are not like this, because slapstick can help children understand: I can fight back. The rules of playing rough and tumble will stipulate that you cannot hit, kick, bite, choke, or slap in the face, head, or stomach. And if these rules are followed, children can fight back and use their own strength to protect themselves. Controlling Behavior Children will control and adjust their behavior through playing. For example, for children who are impulsive and aggressive, such rough and tumble training is very useful. Because in rough and tumble, parents can effectively teach their children some rules of rough and tumble. Only with this kind of experience, when they have some conflicts with their friends, they will know what to do and how much strength to use. Parents should never try to replace their children when it comes to playing. Because you can’t make your children truly strong by helping them “win” their partners, or by scolding the other parent’s parents. The only thing that can really help a child is his own strength. Children with inner self-confidence will dare to say no and resist. Parents should accept and encourage their children and cultivate their inner strength.