A child is \”bad\” because he has \”bad\” parents

In the past two days, a class teacher in the school presented two cases of girls in his class. A girl openly \”goes against\” the class rules, but she is actually challenging the authority of the class teacher. After the \”100-Day Sprint\” in the senior year of high school, every student in each class will sign their name on the class flag to show encouragement and cheer themselves up. The students, head teachers and teaching staff all wrote their names religiously. But this girl in this class openly wrote the words \”Signatures are useless\” on the class flag. This is an act of provocation. She used this move to deny the school and the head teacher. The head teacher sat waiting for her apology. She \”remained unmoved.\” Helpless, the head teacher personally summoned her, but she came belatedly. The head teacher used coercion and inducement, but could not pry her \”embroidery\” open. She didn\’t feel any shame at all, she didn\’t even think there was anything wrong with it. I was present when the head teacher talked to him. If I were to deal with it, the first thing I would do is to dampen her self-righteous pride. What these children have in common is that they want the world to be centered on them, and they want the world to move with their hearts. In the final analysis, it is the selfish thinking of \”me-centeredness\” that is at work. This female student\’s arrogance and lack of collective thinking are not the result of day and night. The head teacher said that the reason why this girl is so weird is because she has weird parents. It is said that one time the father and his parents heard that their daughter was not feeling well and came to visit her. At that time, the class teacher was in class. The father walked directly into the classroom without saying hello, ignoring the teacher and other students, walked straight to the female student\’s seat, and stretched out his hand to probe his daughter\’s forehead. You may immediately say that this parent is really unqualified, uneducated, does not know how to respect others, and has no basic respect for teachers. I agree. But what I want to say is that this parent is a person who has no rules and no other people. First, the teacher is teaching students, this is class time. There are classroom rules during class time, and you cannot break them at will. What you have to do is wait, wait for the class time to end. If there is really an emergency and \”dead people collapse the building\”, then you should ask the teacher, the person in charge of the classroom, for instructions instead of ignoring the classroom rules and doing your own thing. Second, teachers and students are in class. There is a class mood in class. Teachers and students are in an atmosphere of knowledge interaction. Suddenly a \”stranger\” comes in, and everyone\’s emotions are forced to interrupt. Then students will have inexplicable feelings, and then anger. Everyone\’s good mood, learning mood, or thinking mood are disturbed for no reason. After the parent leaves, the emotions of the students and teachers cannot recover temporarily. Even if the mood is restored, the classroom effect will no longer be the same. This parent is a typical person who has no eyes for others. This should not be the behavior of an adult, but more like the behavior of a young child. Infants and young children are self-centered and have no concept of others yet. The parents\’ awareness and behavior of being unruly and unconventional are naturally given to their children, and the children copy their parents\’ behaviors and thoughts. The child is also a student who has no class rules, no classmates, and no teachers. They do not consider the confusion their actions may cause to others or the adverse effects they may have on others. Parents are the \”background wall\” and \”background wall\” for children\’s growth.\”Reference object\”, children grow up according to the appearance of their parents. Their words, deeds, values, and thinking will all affect the children. There should be no doubt that children are \”copies\” of their parents. And the second girl The story of The peculiar thing is that they not only steal money and things, but also food. For example, stealing half an apple, that is, taking half or a few bites of someone else\’s apple and then putting it back where it was; or stealing someone else\’s half bottle of milk. Among other things , and even stole her roommate’s towel. Everyone knew it was her, but there was no evidence. Some students asked me for help, but I had no choice. Only when the head teacher worked together with them to set up a trap to catch her, could it be possible to prescribe the right medicine and solve the problem. Recently, she did not participate in ordering class uniforms for the class. However, a few days after the class uniforms were distributed, the uniforms of two roommates disappeared. However, she had two extra clothes for no reason. The roommates knew clearly that she stole them. But there was no evidence. So I felt anxious and asked the class teacher for help. The class teacher and the grade department worked together to solve the problem. At first I called her for questioning, but she refused to admit it and said that it was given to her by a classmate. Later, she was fooled and said that she stole things. The process was videotaped by a classmate\’s mobile phone, and she admitted it. She lied to the class teacher and said her family was poor, but in fact her father was a village official. The child stole things and lied. Did his parents do the same? The school asked the parents to find out came to solve the problem, the father\’s behavior was normal. After listening to the teacher\’s report, the mother was more excited and refused to believe it. She also suspected that the teacher had wronged her child. First of all, it is certain that these parents are not \”thieves\”. The girl stole What is the reason for the behavior? It is impossible to find out, because the student and his parents do not cooperate. But the student has become a \”habitual thief\”, and the reason for stealing is not because the family is poor. It is a psychological problem. Seeing his mother\’s aggressive behavior, I know After the child\’s problem, the first reaction is not \”Why is my child like this\”, but denial, and she also suspects that others have wronged her child. This kind of performance can be seen that this mother is used to \”passing the blame\” when encountering problems. \”. When the student learned that the school was going to tell her parents about this, she showed anxiety and uneasiness, burst into tears, and questioned the teacher. It can be inferred that this girl is extremely concerned about her \”good image\” in front of her parents. She is It is unknown what kind of pressure and frustration led to this and distorted external behavior. But what is certain is that the mother\’s simple and crude way of dealing with problems penetrated into the girl\’s consciousness. She may have encountered When she gets confused in communication, but doesn’t know how to deal with it, she “shifts the blame” and attributes the problem to others, so she “steals”. You find that her stealing is all about mischief, such as stealing a few mouthfuls of other people’s milk and biting others. A few bites of apples, and also stole the roommate\’s towel, isn\’t this venting one\’s dissatisfaction? Parents\’ attitudes towards others and society will affect their children, and their parents\’ attitude and handling of problems will also affect their children. Children not only copy It is the parents\’ words and deeds, thoughts, concepts, values, etc. that will also be copied. But some \”stealing behaviors\” are copied by the parents.The result of maternal connivance. When I first started working, I stayed in elementary school. Served as the second grade class teacher. There are two children at the same table who have always had a harmonious relationship. But suddenly, they ignored each other. Soon, the little boy’s mother came to me and said that the child’s exercise book had been stolen. The suspect is his deskmate, a little girl. I found them both separately and talked with each other. After talking, I understood clearly. It is certain that the little boy\’s exercise book was stolen by his deskmate. But the little girl didn\’t blush and insisted that her mother bought the exercise book. The price of the book, the time and place to buy the book are clearly and definitely provided. Facing my coercion and inducement, she remained calm and calm, showing no fear or panic at all. A child who is only six or seven years old can lie to this extent. The students in the class could also provide evidence, but these were just speculations with no real effect. She denied it again. I had no choice but to let her go back to the classroom. Knowing that she stole it but having no evidence, I was very frustrated at that moment. So, I found the exercise book and read it carefully. I think there are always clues. Finally, I found the little boy\’s name on the cover of the book. The name written on the cover has obvious signs of being torn off by the transparent tape, but the name written on the cover cannot be removed. The little girl might not have thought there was a name here. I suppressed my anger and found the little girl again, wanting to give her a chance to redeem herself. What\’s annoying is that she doesn\’t care about the opportunity I gave her. What she said was so true. Without evidence, we really couldn\’t believe that there were so many lies hidden in that innocent face. She was able to answer all the \”gimmicks\” she asked me with ease. Such sophisticated skills should not be repeated once or twice. When I presented the evidence, she finally had nothing to say. I feel terrible that this girl will grow crooked if she doesn\’t cleanse her twisted thoughts in time. I want to visit her home right away, thinking about working with her parents to help her change. Unexpectedly, a local colleague, the little girl’s former head teacher, advised me not to make unnecessary contributions. She said the little girl liked stealing because of her parents\’ tacit approval. Her grandparents, mom and dad all have the same view. As long as the little girl brings something back from outside, they all praise her. It is true that children grow up according to their parents. A child of a certain kind must have a certain kind of parents. If the roots are broken, it will be useless to fertilize and repair the leaves. It won\’t take long for the leaves to wither completely. If parents have incorrect outlook on life, their children will also have incorrect outlook on life. Parents are short-sighted and naturally cannot teach far-sighted children. Parents are very preoccupied, but their children cannot be generous. If parents are rude and arrogant, their children will also be rude and arrogant. A friend is petite, sweet, and has a peaceful personality. But she was pointed at the nose by a student\’s parent and scolded her for \”looking like a gangster.\” What happened was that there was a regular meeting of teachers and students in their school on Monday. The students listened to the principal\’s \”discipline\” in an orderly manner, and the teacher was maintaining order. The head teacher of the class next to her wanted to take some time to go home and have breakfast before attending the first class, so he asked her to help with the discipline of the students. She readily agreed. she is aThose who are conscientious should also patrol that class. It turned out that one of the children was not sitting upright, but was lying on top of another classmate. As a kid in second grade, this is contempt of meeting rules. With a responsible heart, she asked the little boy to sit up straight. Unexpectedly, the child looked at her with a disdainful attitude, and even scolded her. The children in her class were innocent. She had never encountered such a situation before. She was so angry that she felt that the teacher\’s authority had been challenged, and it was challenged by a child of several years old. She was so angry that she patted the child on the shoulder, asked him to sit up, and then immediately asked the monitor to notify the head teacher. In just one minute, the child was gone. When I asked other children, they all said they were going home to find their father. She vaguely remembered that when she was photographing the little boy, the little boy said viciously: \”I\’ll ask my dad to take care of you later.\” She was not afraid. She felt that the boy\’s mind had begun to become bad, and she should inform his parents in time to correct him. And any normal parent would apologize to the teacher if they learned that their child was so rude to the teacher. She is very determined. About five or six minutes later, an aggressive parent came with the child. As the parent walked toward her, he shouted loudly: \”Who is it? Who hit my son?\” She heard this, went up to him, and was about to open her mouth to describe the incident, but was interrupted by the parent without saying anything: \”It\’s you. ? Did you beat my son? Why did you beat my son? Look, his face is red, and his ears are not damaged. I want to sue you. You look like a gangster.\” She was scolded and confused. When did she hit his son in the face? Has she become a gangster? Looking at the little boy\’s smug look, it seemed that he had lied about his \”military information\” to his parents. It seemed that this was not the first time that this parent had behaved like this. Sure enough, after the class teacher came to mediate, he told her that the bad deeds of this parent were well known throughout the town. He had always behaved like this when his three children were studying. The head teacher doesn\’t dare to mess with their children. They all became bullies. I am a bully and a hooligan, and his children have become bullies and hooligans. There is no sense of propriety, justice or shame in the eyes of such people, and it is impossible to reason with them. What is sad is that when our children have problems, the first thing most parents do is to blame their children for becoming bad, and never think that it is their own problem. What\’s even more sad is that Riko is a bad parent and has raised bad offspring, and the bad offspring will continue to produce bad offspring. When a child has a problem, parents don\’t reflect on it, they look for their own reasons, and they don\’t have time to reflect on themselves, and they end up feeling sorry for themselves. Future generations mourn and fail to take note of it, which also makes future generations mourn for future generations.