A child with a rich heart is hidden in these 5 details of his parents

If you had a child, how would you raise him? Food, clothing, play, give him the best material life; early childhood education, kindergarten, primary school… Let him go to the best school and receive the best quality education. Even if you raise your children according to your previous ideas, many parents still lament: Why do I pay so much for my children, but their children still don’t grow up to be what I expect? What is the measure of a good child? In fact, every parent has his or her own standards of judgment. Educating children is a long-term and arduous undertaking that requires careful cultivation and careful care from parents. What a child will grow up to be in the future is often hidden in the family education of his parents. No matter how you make your child rich materially, it is better to raise a child who is spiritually rich. Children with a rich heart are independent, confident, optimistic, able to clearly see their own advantages; they can also accept their own shortcomings, and can face any setbacks and difficulties independently and strongly. If parents want to raise a child with a rich heart, they need to pay attention to these five parenting details. Before the age of 3, meet the child\’s need for a sense of security. The child\’s lack of sense of security will never make up for it in his lifetime. Dr. Montessori believes that 0-3 years old is a critical period for children to establish a sense of security. Whether parents can establish a sense of security for their children during this period determines his lifelong emotional connection with the outside world. When children come into this world, everything around them is unknown to them. They build up their understanding of the world bit by bit through their parents\’ expressions, demeanor, language, and reactions. It can be said that although children before the age of 3 already have a physical body, they are still a symbiosis with their mother mentally and psychologically. We often refer to children before the age of 3 as spiritual embryos. Children in the mental embryonic stage can be well cared for by their parents or other caregivers. Especially if the mother can adopt a loving attitude towards the baby, and this kind of love is frequent, consistent and reliable, the child will feel comfortable and satisfied and establish an initial sense of security. Dr. Montessori said that a child\’s development in the first three years after birth exceeds any stage in a child\’s life in terms of extent and importance. Before the age of 6, set rules for the child. Before the age of 6, the child will go through multiple sensitive periods, such as the self-awareness sensitive period, the sensitive period of hands and mouth, the order sensitive period, the gender sensitive period, etc. Children of this age have the greatest plasticity. Dr. Montessori pointed out that the age of 3-6 is a critical period for the formation of children\’s rule awareness and early behavioral habits. A study from Harvard University pointed out that 3-6 years old is the most critical period for the development of children\’s personality and behavioral habits. It can be described as the \”wet cement period\”. 85%-90% of a child\’s personality, thoughts, and behaviors are formed at this stage. Therefore, if no rules are established for children before the age of 6, no matter how good the education is, it will be useless. By establishing rules from an early age, children can abide by them and have a sense of reverence. If you can do the following 2 suggestions, your children will be able to obey the rules. 1. Parents teach their children by example. There is no shortcut. The best way is the power of example. You want your children to abide by the rules, but you teach your children to abide by the rules while breaking them yourself. Just imagine, can your children insist on abiding by the rules? One on the mouthOne set of rules, but the actions are another set. Parents\’ disregard for rules/rules will naturally lead to children\’s disregard for rules/rules. The best education is in action. You must know that under the influence of the absorptive mind, a child will unconditionally absorb what he sees, hears, and does. 2. Use a gentle but firm tone. When children do not follow the rules, parents must educate their children with skills and not let their children begin to resist and reject the rules from the bottom of their hearts. Montessori education emphasizes speaking to children gently but firmly. This is also a parenting style that many parents highly recommend. \”Gentle but firm\” means not only being gentle in tone, but also being strictly enforced. But you need to understand that gentleness and firmness are used to support the child, not to control the child. If you don\’t take care of everything and let your children try to love them, you will have far-reaching goals. Long Yingtai once said that the so-called relationship between father, daughter and mother only means that your fate with him is to watch his back drift away in this life. Children, from being in your arms for a moment, to toddling; from crying and not wanting to go to kindergarten, to backpacking alone to study far away, to starting a small family and having children… True love is to teach children step by step growing up. The most difficult thing about being a parent is never how much love you give your children, but knowing how to let go at the right time and let your children try independently. At the age of 3, he can eat by himself and clean up his rice bowl; at the age of 5, he can wear clothes and shoes independently; at the age of 8, he has a regular schedule and learns to manage time;… If you love your child, please withdraw from his life slowly. Parents who can take the initiative to withdraw from their children\’s lives have given thousands of times more affection than they do to their children. Children will one day leave their parents and venture into the outside world alone. Therefore, truly far-sighted parents will continue to give their children opportunities to practice independently and cultivate their self-care abilities. Therefore, parents must not do things for their children that they can do independently. Because you do things for your child that he should have done by himself, you are actually depriving your child of his ability to do things. Doing so will not only discourage children and make them lose the opportunity to practice, but will also make children dependent on their parents. Always empathize, accept and appreciate children. There is no doubt that children need education. The best way to educate children is to empathize rather than reason. Educator Rousseau once pointed out that the three most useless education methods in the world are: reasoning, losing temper, and deliberately moving. However, it is a pity that these three education methods are exactly the parenting methods that many parents are most enthusiastic about nowadays. Real family education is not about giving advice, nor is it about yelling at children to \”obey\”, but a process of spring breeze turning into rain. When parents reason, they only impose truth on their children from an adult perspective, while children can only see the world from their own perspective. So, how can we empathize with children if we teach them to be unreasonable? First, accept the child unconditionally. Conflicts between parents and children, and children\’s disobedience to discipline are mostly related to the child\’s emotions. When a child has mood swings, parents should stand in the child\’s shoes and understand the child\’s feelings. On the road of raising children, we encounter endless problems with our children, but no matter what, parents must firstAccept the child; acknowledge the child\’s imperfections, accept the child\’s emotions, is to accept the child\’s growth. Secondly, convey equality and respect to children. Many parents always like to place themselves higher than their children, \”You must do what I say\” and \”You must listen to me.\” This is the trigger of many parent-child conflicts. Parents should lower their posture, put themselves on an equal footing with their children, and truly respect their children. In successful family education, parents are always willing to spend time with their children; communicate with their children in an equal manner, and fully affirm their children\’s correct thoughts and behaviors. Understand rituals and sow happiness and hope in children\’s hearts. Family is the soil and destination for children to grow. Parents\’ education methods and life attitudes directly affect a child\’s character, pattern and behavior, and even determine the child\’s lifelong happiness. If they want to raise a child with a rich heart, parents must pay attention to the rituals of life and sow the seeds of happiness in their children as early as possible. Life requires a sense of ritual, and a life with a sense of ritual can bring us a great sense of happiness. For example, hugging your children every time you go out or come home, taking a family photo once a year, receiving surprise gifts from family members on holidays or anniversaries… This \”sense of ritual\” tightly connects all members of the family and accepts each other. , recognize each other and gain strength from them. For children, the sense of ritual is not only an expectation, but also has rich connotations. Children can learn more knowledge and become an educated person. Even the simplest sense of ritual can arouse love in children\’s hearts and a positive attitude towards life. Living in a family full of rituals, children will be very rich inside. Italian educator Dr. Maria Montessori once said, \”The happiness of adults is closely related to the kind of life lived in childhood.\” Everything we do for our children will bear fruit, not only affecting his life, but also determining his future. His whole life. If you want to raise a child with a rich heart, you need to pay attention to these 5 details!