A collection of mantras that can benefit your children throughout their lives. Parents, remember to say them often!

Parents, if you want your children to become outstanding, start with these four mantras! I know a friend who has been among the best in grades and popularity since he was a child. After hard work, he was admitted to his ideal university, but he suffered from depression in his fourth year of university. Although she is already very good in the eyes of outsiders, she has always been dissatisfied with herself and feels that she is a \”useless person\”. After communicating with a psychiatrist, she suddenly understood: It turned out that her psychological pain for so many years originated from her mother\’s favorite saying, \”Look at others, and then look at you.\” Growing up, Her mother always likes to compare her with other children. As she talks, it becomes a common mantra: \”Look at your cousin, she is tall and white, but you are short and dark.\” \”Look at others, Being first in the school does not matter if you are first in the class.\” \”Look at my uncle\’s son, who is majoring in computer science. He can make money when he comes out! Look at your major again.\” Over time, the only thing I feel from my parents is The denial and blow planted the seeds of inferiority and lack of love in her heart. It took root and sprouted over the years, until in my senior year I could no longer bear it and finally fell ill. The power of education is often hidden in the most casual details of daily life. A parent\’s mantra may have a lifelong impact on a child. The power of language is very powerful. A mantra can actually reflect the emotional state and thoughts of the parents, and can also reveal the future appearance of the child: parents who use \”hurry up\” and \”slow down\” as mantras are usually more anxious and impatient, so they encourage them to do so. Children may be more procrastinating and dilly-dallying; parents who always say \”I\’m not doing it for your own good\” are controlling and prone to raising children with inner depression and negative energy; parents who often say to their children \”look at others\”, High requirements, love for children always comes with conditions, most children are not confident, timid and timid… Some words, with the meaning of denial, distrust, control, are not good for children\’s physical and mental development, they cannot always be On the lips. Parents should use more positive mantras to bring positive psychological cues to their children and help them grow better. For example, the following four types: ① \”Dad/Mom loves you\” There is no doubt that parents love their children. However, in our Chinese parent-child relationship, parents rarely say these three words \”I love you\” to their children. Character. We always feel that love does not need to be spoken, children can feel it, it is more expressed through actions. However, in fact, parents\’ usual preaching and criticism for the purpose of \”education\” will make children doubt this love and make them uncertain whether their parents love them. Convincing yourself that you are loved and having sufficient security will produce inner self-confidence, courage and optimism, which is the source of happiness for children throughout their lives. Love means speaking it out so that children can receive it more directly and deeply. Be a parent who can express love. When your child performs well, makes mistakes, encounters setbacks and frustrations, and before going to bed every night, always say \”Dad/Mom loves you\” to your child, so that the child understands: No matter what he or she is, No matter what kind of mistakes you make, your parents\’ love for you will never change. This unconditional love will inject unconditional love into the child\’s mind.Poor energy. ② \”I understand…\” In life, some words from parents will make the distance between parents and children further and further away. For example, a child\’s toy is broken and he is crying. His mother says, \”What\’s the point of crying? Can\’t we just play with other things?\” When we get home from school, the child says that he was criticized by the teacher. His father says, \”You deserve it. Why don\’t you criticize me?\” Others will criticize you.\” Educate children that if there is a lack of emotional connection, it is very pale, and the parent-child relationship will become increasingly indifferent and alienated. Tanzanian writer Shabani wrote in the essay \”Childhood\”: \”Children\’s worries may be said to be insignificant to adults, but they are a great deal to the children themselves.\” No matter how young a child is, his emotions and feelings are also very important. , cannot be ignored. This requires parents to have the ability to empathize and be able to put themselves in their children\’s shoes and help them express them. To the crying child, parents should tell him, \”I understand, you are sad that the toy is broken.\”; to the child who is being criticized, parents should also say, \”I understand, being criticized by the teacher must be very uncomfortable, right?\” At any time, the first thing parents should do is to accept and understand their children\’s emotions, listen to their voices more, and then talk about rules and principles. This is how they can truly see their children. A child who is respected and understood from an early age will be able to respect and understand himself when he grows up, have high self-esteem, high emotional intelligence, and better respect and understand others. Parents who understand empathy will also establish a better parent-child relationship with their children, allowing education to play a greater role. ③ \”You can do it, I believe in you\” There was a survey asking primary and secondary school students about their 10 favorite practices from their parents. The results showed that \”Trust me\” ranked first with a high vote rate of 63.5%. Psychologist William James believes: \”The most profound instinct in human nature is the desire to be appreciated.\” The same is true for children. When they are trusted and appreciated by their parents, they will have a good feeling of \”I can do it\” and will be able to do anything. All have the confidence and motivation to fully realize their potential. When a child is learning a life skill, don\’t blame him for not doing it well and help him do it. Tell him \”You can do it, I believe in you\”, and he will learn quickly and well; when a child does something wrong, When a child encounters a child, don’t criticize him blindly, tell him “I believe you won’t do this again next time”, express positive expectations, and the child will manage himself more consciously and develop in a good direction; when the child encounters setbacks and becomes discouraged, When the time comes, tell him \”You can do it, I believe in you\”, and he will regain his confidence, see hope, and cheer up bravely. If you feel that raising children is tiring and you are always full of anxiety and worry, maybe all you need is a little more trust in your children. The more parents give their children positive and wonderful expectations, the more their children will grow up in the direction that their parents expect. ④ \”Thank you, it\’s great to have you.\” Many parents raise their children as treasures in their hands and are reluctant to let their children do things. In fact, parents\’ willingness to \”use\” their children is more helpful to their children\’s growth than pampering and protecting them. Because \”being needed\” can give people a strong sense of responsibility, help others through giving, and experience a sense of self-worth. Children\’s psychological need to \”be needed\” appears from about 3 or 4 years old, they always want to do something to help their parents. At this time, parents should give their children the opportunity to help with something and express their gratitude and recognition, \”Thank you, baby, it\’s great to have you.\” This is a wonderful experience for children, and their self-confidence and sense of self-worth will be enhanced. . In life, parents can show weakness appropriately and give their children more opportunities to give and love others. When your children help their parents to pour a glass of water, get slippers, beat their backs, or do housework, sincerely say to them: \”Thank you, it\’s great to have you.\” The children will feel heartfelt satisfaction and encouragement, and become more confident. Responsible and caring. Parents, if you want your children to become outstanding, start with these four mantras!