A discipline method that is 100 times better than yelling. Smart mothers use it.

Rui\’s mother has an impatient bestie who does everything vigorously and dislikes others taking their time. But she just gave birth to a child who is impatient and doesn\’t do anything in a hurry. I still remember that my best friend once said this to me about her baby: This baby can take more than an hour to eat a meal. I was so angry that I beat and scolded him many times before he moved a little faster. It was killing me to put on clothes. One sleeve Put it in, stop and rub for 5 minutes, roar, put on the other sleeve, stop and rub for another 5 minutes; the socks always put the heel on the instep, and no matter how you teach him, he will never be able to figure out how to put it so that the heel is aligned. Do you really wonder if there is something wrong with your IQ? It seems that the two hands cannot be squeezed tightly, and it is suspected that the neurological development is abnormal. After listening to my best friend’s description, I really couldn’t laugh or cry! My best friend actually suspected that her child had an IQ problem and was drunk. I advised her to be patient with her children and change her bad temper. She agreed, but I saw that she still yelled at her children. Just a few days ago, I went on a business trip to the city where my best friend lives, and I stopped by her house to sit there. When eating, the child always looks here and there. We have almost finished eating, but he still has a lot left. I thought my best friend was going to get angry again this time, but unexpectedly, my best friend didn\’t yell at the child at all. Instead, she calmly said to the child: \”Baby, you slowed down again today. Are you so happy to see auntie here?\” Want to eat more? We\’ve almost eaten, you have to hurry up, otherwise mom will remove the plate~\” After listening to his best friend\’s words, the child started eating honestly, and soon the bowl was empty. I was surprised by the change in my best friend and quickly asked her if she had taken the wrong medicine. Or is there a wrong link? He is actually so patient with his children, and the changes in his children are also obvious. My best friend said proudly: \”This is the result of my painstaking research. Once, my child was playing with the Ipad, but my voice was broken and I couldn\’t call him, so I thought I could just let him do whatever he wanted. I started reading a book next to me. After a while, the child actually put down the Ipad in his hand and asked me for a book to read. At that moment, I finally understood that when it comes to educating children, it is better to do something Looks like that.\” I thought about my best friend\’s last words over and over again, and I think they really make sense! In real life, no matter how good-tempered mothers are, there will always be times when they can’t control themselves and want to yell, but the children seem to be unable to get in. No matter how loud you shout, they won’t listen, and adults have nothing to do. . Do you know why children become more disobedient the more they yell? To use an old saying, your children have been scolded as \”skinned\”. When you reprimand your child loudly for the first time, the child will be really scared and will behave very honestly and obediently. But after a lot of times, the child will get used to it and feel that you can\’t do anything to him just by yelling, and he will forget it after hearing it. In fact, when you yell at your child, the child\’s attention has already drifted away and they don\’t care about what you are yelling at, so the education will naturally be ineffective. No use shouting at the top of your lungs? That’s because you haven’t found the source of the problem! Why do parents yell at their children? Usually it\’s because the child made a mistake, but it\’s normal for children to make mistakes, why do parents want to go to war? The fundamental reason is that our parents pursue perfection too much. I once saw this sentence in the book \”Positive Discipline\”: Parents should work hard to improve their children without expecting perfection. Because in the process of pursuing perfection, parents will bring continuous frustration to their children, which will only make their children more and more rebellious. Therefore, if you want your children to be obedient, you must first learn to accept their imperfections and be good at discovering their strengths. There is such a story: Recently, my son has been getting into trouble at school, and the teacher often punished him corporally in order to educate him. When he got home, his mother was worried that her son would be uneducated, so she joined the teacher\’s camp and gave her son a good scolding. . But the result of such a round-robin education was that the children became more rebellious and did not even go to school, instead hanging around outside all day long. Finally, my mother went to the teacher to find a solution. The mother asked the teacher: \”What percentage of my son\’s troublemaking behavior in school usually accounts for it?\” The teacher replied: \”About 15%.\” The mother was immediately surprised to realize: My son obviously has 85% good behavior, but he has 85% good behavior. Why did I only pay attention to the 15% of his bad behaviors? Yes, we always spend too much energy focusing on the bad side of our children, and the more we focus on it, the more the bad side of our children will expand until the good side disappears completely. You get what you see. Parents\’ yelling and negative punishment will only arouse children\’s rebellion and make everyone fall into negativity. Only when adults show good behavior and use methods of respect, encouragement, and problem-solving, will children have a sense of belonging, show their good side, and develop obedient behavior. Instead of shouting at the top of your lungs, it’s better to show off! Leading by example is the best education for children. What parents ask their children to do, they must do it first, otherwise they have no right to ask their children to do so. Specifically, we can start from the following aspects: 1. No matter how wealthy your family is, you must avoid unnecessary waste. Tell your children that unnecessary spending is waste! Even a few dollars is a waste! In this way, children can be frugal. 2. No matter how small the thing is, you must make a show of it. If parents obey traffic rules, their children will not run red lights. What\’s more, there is no small matter when it comes to your child\’s safety. 3. If you are one minute late when you usually pick up your children, you must apologize to your children! If you want to teach your children to be punctual, parents must first be punctual. 4. Put more books at home, or take your children to the library frequently so that they can be influenced by reading. They will naturally fall in love with reading and open the door to knowledge. 5. Do what you say! Don\’t agree to your child\’s request casually. Once you agree, you must find ways to make it happen. Only when parents keep their word can children keep their word. 6. Don’t throw away garbage, don’t spit everywhere, and take the initiative to say hello when you see people… Parents start from small things, so that children can be civilized and polite. Faced with some situations in life where children can easily make mothers lose their temper, it is best for mothers to do this: 1. When the child does not eat well: I will give you another 5 minutes. If you can’t finish eating, I will leave. Let your children know that if they don’t eat well, they will starve! 2. The child is always misbehaving: don’t remind him, just ignore it, always let the child suffer some loss.Can have a long memory. 3. Children grab toys: Whoever gets it first gets to play first. If they don’t let go, no one will play. Let your children know that being willful will not lead to good results, and society pays attention to rules and order. 4. The child still doesn\’t sleep when it\’s time: After 10 minutes, I will take away the iPad in your hand, turn off the light, and you can figure it out yourself. 5. Children watch TV without doing homework: Watch the last 5 minutes. After 5 minutes, I want to see you go back to your room to do homework. Otherwise, you will not be able to watch TV in the next week. It\’s your choice. Educating children with emotions is the stupidest way. Be more patient with your children and you will get unexpected results~