A doctor from Zhejiang University committed suicide by jumping into the river: If children don’t know how to get along with the world, all education will be in vain

The missing doctor from Zhejiang University was found, but unfortunately, all he found was his body. According to The Paper, on the morning of October 14, a floating body was found in the waters of the Qiantang River near the Fourth Qianjiang Bridge in Hangzhou. After identification by family members, it was confirmed to be that of Hou Moumou, a missing doctoral student from Zhejiang University. In Hou Moumou’s last WeChat Moments that was circulated online, he wrote: Maybe I just don’t like it very much and am not suitable for this world, so I don’t want to stay any longer. It’s really difficult to stop pretending or lie and just want to be myself. Hou Moumou apologized to his family in his last circle of friends. If he had any regrets, it would be because he couldn\’t live with his family. I don\’t know what to do. I\’m sorry, Mom. I really don\’t know what to say. All I have left is guilt, I just hope I won’t be your child in my next life, and I don’t want you to get hurt again. I was chatting with a colleague a while ago, and she told me about her recent troubles: her son has been a top student since he was a child. He went to key schools all the way to the top three in grade, and was finally recommended to a prestigious university. But one year after graduating from college, he lost his job three times. The first two times, I failed the probation period. The third time, I thought I would fail, so I took the initiative to pack up and leave. Then he refused to look for a job again, and has been bored at home for almost half a year now, playing games all day long until late at night, and eating junk food without restraint. The mother was so anxious that she secretly called her son\’s former boss. The other party was also honest and said: Your son is not interested in work. He has been assigned to work several times, but he simply refuses to do it. There is no reason. If you criticize him once, he will not go to work the next day. Moreover, he is not very sensible. He always chokes his boss during meetings, never says hello to the boss when he meets him in the corridor, and does not get along well with his colleagues. These words surprised her. She admitted that her son did have a bit of an ego, but she didn\’t expect the problem to be so serious. She said: I have such an outstanding son, and I have always been proud of it. I also think that I am a very successful mother, but why did it become like this all of a sudden? I think things definitely didn\’t get bad \”all of a sudden.\” There must have always been some bad traits in this boy, such as not being good at interacting with others, not knowing how to respect others, being mentally fragile, and having a poor sense of responsibility. However, before graduating from college, these were all covered up by his grades. Many parents have a wrong thinking – as long as their children are healthy, happy and have good grades, everything will be fine. So, when he was two years old, you made him a variety of breakfasts and taught him English vocabulary, but you did not teach him to know the rules and be polite. He took other people\’s things casually and didn\’t say hello to his elders when he saw him. You didn\’t take it seriously. So after work, he ate snacks and talked loudly in the quiet office. When he met the boss, he turned a blind eye and took it for granted. When he was five years old, you asked him to learn calligraphy, piano and taekwondo, but you did not teach him how to play happily with children. You let him go when he occupied public toys, and you helped him fight back when he was bullied. So after work, he competed with his old colleagues for computers and performance. He always violated others unconsciously and often had conflicts with others, but he didn\’t know how to resolve them. When he was ten years old, you only paid attention to whether he excelled in the exam and was praised, but you did not tell him to respect his teachers and be grateful to his parents. He yelled at his elders, which you thought was commendable. When others did not sit down when eating, he wouldEat as much as you think he is full. So after work, he would turn tables when the boss picked up food, he would get in the car when the boss opened the door, he would chat with the boss during meetings, and he would not realize anything was wrong. When he was fifteen, you were all concerned about whether he could get into a good university, but you didn\’t teach him how to make his heart strong. His grades dropped when a teacher gave him a cold look, and he became angry when a relative gossiped. You shared the same hatred with him and thought that everyone It\’s the fault of teachers and relatives. So after a few criticisms from his boss at work, he would like to resign. If something went wrong at work, he would be terrified and unable to bear it. When he was twenty, you always thought about whether he could find a good job, but you didn\’t tell him that human nature is complex and the world is difficult, and you were not willing to let him suffer a little bit. So after graduation, he complained endlessly when he went on a business trip and worked overtime. Faced with the exclusion, isolation, and infighting from his colleagues, he was completely unable to cope with it. He may have been admitted to a prestigious school as you expected, received a high degree, and may even be versatile. However, he is selfish, cold, fragile, irresponsible, ignorant, and completely unfit for society. In the sea of ​​society, as soon as he entered the water, he had a huge reaction of rejection. Other people\’s drizzle is his violent storm, and other people\’s small waves are his stormy waves. The small boat of friendship capsized, the big ship of work sank, and the big ship of life also leaked. His head was bleeding and you were at a loss. The child who always takes first place may not be really good. Parents who send their children to prestigious schools may not be successful. Grades are important, but they are by no means the only thing. Society is the ultimate criterion for testing a person and a pair of parents. And this standard is comprehensive. When I was working as a reporter in a newspaper, I took care of many interns. Now most of them have even forgotten their appearance. There was only one girl who left a deep impression on me. She is from Hong Kong and came for exchange and internship during the summer vacation of her junior year. The first thing she said when she saw me was: \”Hello, teacher, I brought you a lollipop.\” I let her read the newspaper for a day and then asked her about her feelings in the evening. She said that some of the headlines were different from the style of Hong Kong newspapers. Same. Then he gave me a few examples. I thought it was very interesting, so after I wrote the manuscript the next day, I asked her to come up with the title. She meditated for a long time without eating, and took more than twenty in one fell swoop. Later, I asked her to try writing a manuscript, and she was very serious every time. She had to check dozens of materials for a two-hundred-word manuscript. But sometimes it doesn\’t work and I have to completely rewrite it. She was not sad either. She would read my version over and over again, sum up her experience, and ask me what her problems were in a very humble and polite manner. Normally, colleagues chat in the office, while other interns listen silently. She is the only one who joins in very diligently and appropriately, sharing her experiences and thoughts. Her words are fun and often cause laughter. One time we went to report to the director. She walked ahead, and when she reached the door, she suddenly retracted. I asked what was wrong, and she stuck out her tongue and said, \”I saw the director was concentrating on sneezing. My dad said you can\’t disturb other people\’s sneezing.\” .\” She had been an intern for more than a month, and she was the only intern who could write independently when she left. The only intern who made all three directors remember her, and the only intern I couldn\’t bear to let go. I still think that no matter what unit she works for, she will definitely do well and will be very popular. And her education, friendliness, sense of responsibility,Her initiative and ability to withstand setbacks must be attributed to her parents. I remember she once told me that every time her parents called, they would ask a few questions: \”Did you help the teacher today? Did you meet new friends? What did you gain?\” I think, anyone who can ask these questions Parents must be very different from those who only ask their children if they have enough food and clothing. Long Yingtai said: The so-called scene between father, daughter and mother only means that we will continue to watch his back drift away in this life. In fact, every parent also knows that our children will eventually leave us and enter the society to create their own lives with their own minds and hands. We can provide him with a comfortable life and extreme care when he is young, but we cannot stay with him for a lifetime. One day, he will have to face the world alone, solve problems by himself, bear the wind and rain by himself, and fight his own way. Therefore, if you really love him, you should teach him the ability to get along with the world before he leaves you. This is the greatest help and protection you can give him. The ultimate mission of being a parent is actually to raise children who can adapt to society. The greatest success and highest honor of a parent is when a child can live happily, smoothly, at ease, and with ease in society.