A father builds a fairy house for his daughter in a simple rental house. What really binds the child is never poverty.

\”Fairy House\” in a Rental House \”Should children be raised poor or rich?\” This question seems to be an unavoidable parenting problem for many parents. A video I came across recently gave us what we think is the standard answer. The content of the video is as follows: A family of three lives in a simple rental house in Harbin, Heilongjiang. The house is very small, and can almost only be called a container, but my father has carefully decorated the small house of more than ten square meters into a \”fairy house\”, and even hung a sign at the door that says \”This is a fairy house\”. There is a beautiful little fairy who is a top student living in the house.\” And all the father did was to make his daughter happy. After the video was uploaded to the Internet, many people were moved by the father\’s thoughtfulness, and many netizens even expressed envy. Although after the video fermented, some people broke the news that the family was not so difficult, and it even caused some controversy. But I always feel that the biggest inspiration this video gives us is not a discussion about rich and poor, but as a netizen said in the comment area: No matter rich or poor, the best way is to raise children with love. And those who really destroy children are never poor families, but parents who cry for poverty. In May 2020, an 11-year-old Jiangxi boy stood outside the guardrail of a high-rise building, intending to commit suicide. When the police rescued him, the little boy was still struggling and resisting, and kept chanting one sentence – \”As long as I die, I won\’t get sick and spend money.\” It turned out that the little boy\’s father was suffering from cancer, and his mother had been working out of town in order to raise medical expenses. One person is responsible for all the family expenses. Perhaps the huge pressure of life made this mother finally collapse. She kept telling her children \”how poor the family is\” and \”how hard it is to work on her own.\” Repeated complaints and criticisms made the child feel more and more guilty, and even felt that he was a burden, so he had the idea of ​​​​suicide. What a painful experience: Parents \”crying poverty\” in front of their children is the most failed family education. What has been ruined by crying poverty? Some people say that poverty will destroy the beauty of a person\’s life, but in my opinion, crying about poverty is the most terrifying thing. Although we cannot choose where we are born, poverty is not unchangeable. But some parents would rather spend their energy \”crying about poverty\” than making efforts to change poverty. If you can\’t force yourself upwards, you can only \”suffer\” downwards and let your children hear it. \”Our family is very poor and we cannot compare with other families.\” \”My parents have no money, so you have to learn to be sensible and not ask for everything from your parents.\” But what they don\’t know is that the cost of \”crying poverty\” is far beyond our imagination. . What exactly will be ruined by crying poverty? For the Jiangxi family above, it may have ruined one person\’s precious life. For more children, they will first give up many opportunities that they could have fought for because of a sense of guilt: because they feel that the registration fee of 500 yuan is too expensive, they have to give up a competition that has an advantage; the spring outing fee of 300 yuan is a bit high. After struggling, I still chose not to sign up and gave up the opportunity to make more good friends. This is a child who grew up under the influence of his parents\’ \”crying for poverty\”. They don’t see the prize money and honor behind the 500-yuan competition, and the networking opportunities behind the 200-yuan team building. They only knowTao, you can\’t ask your parents for money. In addition, it can also cause psychological harm to children. Some people say that home is a person’s last psychological bottom line. But children who grow up with their parents crying about poverty lose their sense of security first. Because they know that some things are too busy for their parents to help, and some things are expensive that their parents cannot afford. And when a child feels that he is the only one in the world that he can rely on, all self-esteem is out of the question. Gradually, such people become not only poor in body, but also poor in heart. There is still a chance for a comeback when one is poor, but once a person is poor in heart, he is truly \”poor\”. Only when parents don\’t cry about poverty can they raise \”rich\” children. There is a saying that \”what really destroys children is never poverty.\” Because poverty has never been the original sin, there are many economically poor parents in the world who have raised \”rich children\”. Fok Ying-tung, the famous Hong Kong tycoon and patriotic businessman, is a typical example. From the slums to Hong Kong\’s top wealthy families, Fok Ying-tung\’s achievements today are largely due to his mother. When Huo Yingdong was very young, his father and brother died at sea, and the family\’s livelihood fell on his mother Liu San. The family moved to the slums and lived a very difficult life, but the mother was very optimistic and always said to the children, \”We are very poor now, but as long as we work hard, we will not be poor all our lives.\” When Huo Yingdong was young, It shows a high degree of business sensitivity. Once, he took a fancy to a store, but it required a high rental fee. Faced with her son\’s \”whimsy\”, the mother did not criticize her. Instead, she sold her only pair of gold earrings, called on regular customers to chip in, and spent all her money to help her son open a grocery store. It was also during this time in business that Huo Yingdong\’s business acumen was greatly exercised and he gained his first business experience. Even later, Huo Yingdong took a fancy to the material resale business in Hong Kong. It was his mother who decisively sold the grocery store and once again gave her son her full support. This is how the Huo family became legendary. It can be seen that poverty has never been a shackles in life, but being poor at heart is. And parents who only \”cry poverty\” will never be able to raise rich children. How to correctly talk about \”poverty\” with children. Most of the time, parents cry to their children about poverty in the hope that their children can understand their parents\’ hard work, thereby cultivating their awareness of thrift and raising a promising child. But \”crying the poor\” also requires skills. \”Crying poor\” without any taboo will not only fail to achieve the purpose of education, but will actually destroy the children. So how should parents talk to their children about poverty? 1. Communicate sincerely and be honest with each other. There was a debate in \”Qi Pa Shuo\” – should parents tell their children that their family is not rich? Fu Seoul\’s answer was \”should tell\”, and then she said something like this: \”True inferiority is better than false self-confidence. Tough grass can grow from stones, but confident flowers cannot bloom from soap bubbles.\” \”Living in poverty is not an embarrassing thing. Refusing to tell your children by \”crying about poverty\” does not mean that they have no right to know. Don\’t kidnap him with \”sensible\”, don\’t force them to accept the facts with their parents\’ thinking, but it is a kind of respect. If your family is not rich, when telling your children about your family situation, you mayMaybe you can add something like this: \”Maybe your parents can\’t give you the best things, but as long as it is what you need and is good to you, we will fully support you. Because the love of family is more important than money, not us You should do this. \”When your child feels your sincerity, he will not feel that the lack of a better material life is unbearable, and he will also understand that money is just one way to express love, and love That\’s the most important thing. 2. Plan by yourself and live within your means. In addition to paying attention to the way of expression, parents can also intentionally train their children\’s wealth management skills. For example, give a small amount of money to the children, and agree on a time limit with them to manage it by themselves. This method can not only give children a certain degree of freedom, but also cultivate their sense of autonomy, allowing them to build financial awareness in the process of spending money. In addition, because the amount involved is not large, it will not be a big burden for parents. Instead, it is a disguised investment and exercise for their children. 3. Moderate guidance and reasonable satisfaction of children’s consumption needs. Parents can actually guide them consciously. The main method is to let their children join in “making money”. For example, set up some housework, and each time the child completes a designated task, he or she will receive a small \”labor fee.\” Be \”responsible\” for the things you want to buy by \”earning your own money\”. Letting children experience the difficulty of making money for themselves will not only allow them to correctly understand the hard work of their parents to make money, but also help cultivate children\’s sense of responsibility. Parents who are overwhelmed by \”poverty\” may have been unable to help crying to their children about poverty. But parents should understand that the smartest way to \”cry poverty\” is to tell your children to do what you like and become the person you want to be. Because this is happier than being a rich man. Finally, I would like to end with a passage from the movie \”The Pursuit of Happiness\”: \”Don\’t let others tell you that you can\’t be talented, not even me. If you have a dream, defend it. Those who achieve nothing will achieve nothing. I want to tell you that if you have an ideal, you must work hard to achieve it.”