A father\’s absence from his child\’s education will affect his child\’s fate 20 years later

I saw a survey online that asked, \”What was your main feeling about your father when you were a child?\” 65.1% of netizens said: \”My father was very strict and I was very afraid of him when I was a child.\” 22% of netizens said that they were often beaten by their father when they were children, but they dared not speak out when they were angry. Of course, 19% of netizens believe that their father loves them very much and their childhood was very happy; another 15.8% of netizens admire their father very much and feel that his father is an encyclopedia and knows everything. I don’t know, what does it feel like to have dad in your heart? And what do your children think of their father? Absent fathers lead to more problems in children. The National Longitudinal Study of Youth in the United States tracked 6,403 children until the age of 30 and found that boys who lacked fatherly love were more violent, willful, and indifferent to right from wrong. Girls, on the other hand, are more likely to fall in love prematurely and like to look for the missing father figure in their relationship. In the process of raising children, if the father\’s love is absent, the child\’s growth will face many problems. When they grow up in the future, it will be more difficult for them to feel happy. A father who values ​​results will make his children care too much about what others think. I have seen some fathers around me who usually do not care about their children\’s eating, drinking, and toileting, but when it comes time for their children to take exams or do something, they stand up. If a child does not get good grades or does something wrong, he will start to discipline him severely: \”What\’s wrong with you? Who will show you if you do this? If you do so badly, I\’ll beat you! If you can\’t do anything well, what\’s the use in the future?\” \”Such a seemingly strict father only pays attention to the results of the child\’s external performance, but does not pay attention to the child\’s inner growth, nor does he provide timely help and guidance. Under the influence of such a father, children often only focus on the final result, but ignore their true inner feelings, thoughts and wishes. Moreover, he easily internalizes his father\’s requirements as part of himself and uses his father\’s views as his own behavioral standards. Children with such a personality can easily lose themselves. When they grow up, they will care too much about other people\’s opinions and ignore their own needs. A capricious father makes children feel insecure. Some fathers have moody tempers. You don\’t know if something you said casually will suddenly make him angry and make him furious. There are some things that you can do this time, but you may get scolded the next time you do them. Such a father will confuse his children. What is the right thing to do? How to avoid making dad angry? A capricious father will always put his children in fear. In order to maintain the peace of the family, he also learned to watch people\’s emotions early. However, such children will be particularly afraid of conflicts and disappointment in interpersonal relationships in the future. After he entered the workplace, he was too nervous and uneasy to let go and use his talents. The father determines the fate of his child 20 years later. The famous British educator Spencer said that the father is the child\’s guide to the outside world. The mother brings the child into her arms, and the father pushes the child out into the world. As children move from family to society, they need their father’s guidance. 1. Fathers teach their children to be brave. If you ask your children: \”What is dad?\” many children will answer: \”Dad is Superman!\” Why? \”Because Dad has a strong body, bad guyYou can protect me when you come. He is very powerful and allows me to walk around on his shoulders. His arms are thick enough to lift me up but not drop me. He can also push me very high when I\’m on the swing. \”When mothers get along with their children, they tend to use gentle methods such as hugging and kissing. When fathers get along with their children, they tend to play and take risks. Due to the difference in physical strength, mothers are more likely to Protect your children and teach them to be cautious. Dads, on the other hand, are more inclined to lead their children to meet challenges and teach them to be brave. Children who interact more with their fathers will have more courage and perseverance in the face of setbacks, and will have a more lively and cheerful personality in the future. 2. Fathers teach their children to be rational, while mothers tend to be emotional when things happen. Especially when facing difficulties and setbacks, and seeing their children looking sad, mothers may soften their hearts, wave their hands and say, \”Forget it, we\’ll talk about it later.\” \”But the father will be more rational. Although he also feels sorry for the child, he hopes that the child can be bitter first and then sweet, and know how to become brave and rational in difficult situations. Moreover, when a mother gets along with her child, she will tend to pay attention to the child\’s emotions. : \”What\’s wrong, aren\’t you happy? Don\’t be angry, mom will buy you something delicious. But my father paid more attention to the cause and effect of the matter: \”What\’s going on?\” Don\’t cry and tell me what happened. So what do you think you should do? What result do you want? \”Through the guidance of the father, children will think proactively, and they will break away from the emotional center and analyze and view things more rationally and objectively. Such children will be more calm in work and life in the future and will not be easily led by emotions. . 3. A father teaches his children rules. I saw a father in an amusement park, holding a crying child. As he walked, the father said, \”Have you found it? look carefully. \”They walked around the amusement park several times, and finally \”caught\” another child. It turned out that there was a conflict between the two children while playing games, and the son was scratched in the face. He cried and asked his father for help. The father saw that his son was so Feeling aggrieved, I took him to find the other party to ask for an explanation. I thought that a conflict was inevitable. Unexpectedly, after the father found the boy, he only asked what happened, and then said to the two children: \”Play Playing and joking in games is allowed, but personal attacks are not allowed. What should I do if I hurt someone? When everyone plays together, they must abide by the rules and order, and cannot let their own tempers lead to harming others at will. Did you two hear this? After saying this, the father said to his son: \”Okay, I apologized and you weren\’t hurt much. Stop crying. You must abide by the rules of the game next time you play. Do you hear me?\” \”In a family, the father will play the role of \”rule maker.\” The children will learn from their father the boundaries and limitations of life. The children\’s opinions on \”can\’t go to bed late\”, \”can\’t play with mobile phones for a long time\”, The series of regulations \”No more snacks\” are a reflection of the rules. These rules are often not compromised by fathers. 9 101 ways to raise outstanding babies through 1-minute education. mobi fathers teach their children Rules are precisely to prepare children for entering society in the future. No matter in relationships, career, money or moralityOn the other hand, only by abiding by the rules will children avoid taking detours and going the wrong way. There is a popular term on the Internet: \”widowed parenting\”. If the father is absent from the child\’s growth, it will affect not only the mother, but also the child\’s future life! Father, it is you who determine the fate of your child 20 years from now. Dads should take a closer look.