In the growth of a child, the power of father\’s company and father\’s love cannot be ignored or replaced. In current family education, father\’s absence has become an issue of increasing concern. Although the reasons for the father\’s absence are different, the consequences tend to be the same, which is to adversely affect the child\’s growth and personality formation, which in turn leads to tension in the parent-child relationship, emotional indifference, and frequent deviant behaviors. The absence of the father: brings endless hidden dangers to the growth of the child. Why is the father absent? There are roughly the following reasons. One is the \”natural\” absence of the father caused by divorce. In fact, even after the parents divorce and the child is raised by the mother, the father can still be absent from the child\’s growth as long as he wishes. The second is the \”objective\” absence of some fathers due to being too busy at work. Some fathers leave early and come home late, and even rarely see their children once a week. The third is the \”subjective\” absence caused by traditional concepts and habits. In the traditional family concept, it is always believed that \”men should take charge of the outside world and women should take charge of the house.\” The father only needs to grasp the general direction in educating his children and leave the specific and trivial parenting details to the mother. This concept has led to many fathers Rarely involved in raising children. What impact will the father\’s absence have on the children? Domestic and foreign studies have shown that the absence of a father will bring a series of adverse consequences to the growth of children. Fathers naturally have different ways of thinking, personality traits, and life habits from their mothers. For girls, her understanding of the opposite sex begins with their fathers. Their father’s sense of strength will give them a greater sense of security in their hearts, and they can be with their fathers. The relationship will have an important impact on their future interactions with the opposite sex and their views on mate selection; for boys, their father is the most important male role model in their lives, and they will involuntarily imitate their father\’s words and deeds, and their father\’s masculinity, courage and Characteristics such as courage and perseverance will have an important impact on the formation of their masculinity. Whether it is a boy or a girl, if they have more companionship and positive guidance from their father when they grow up, their life path will tend to be smoother, and vice versa, there will be more twists and turns. Studies have shown that if the father is absent from a boy\’s life for a long time, the boy is more likely to commit violent crimes. If the father is absent from the girl\’s life for a long time, the girl is more likely to have inappropriate interactions with the opposite sex in adolescence and experience marriage in the future. Twists and turns are more likely. Father\’s company: Spend time on things that are truly worthwhile. How can a father not be absent? First of all, fathers must give their children enough time to accompany them. Today\’s parents are often generous in satisfying their children\’s material conditions, but in fact the most valuable contribution is time. For children, what they care about most is the company of their parents. To a certain extent, the dedication of time is a manifestation of love. Being busy at work should not be an excuse for a father to be absent. Busy fathers can also strike a balance between family and career. For example, you can reduce unnecessary social activities and entertainment, and you can also make time plans and draw clear boundaries between work and life. For example, you can no longer work on weekends and spend all your time with your children. In 2023, the latest and most complete catalog of premium VIP courses from famous teachers in various disciplines is available on the entire network.Click to view now! Ensuring sufficient companionship time is only a prerequisite; what is more critical is to improve the quality of companionship. Just imagine, if a father keeps checking his mobile phone or busy answering work calls while accompanying his children, such companionship is actually an ineffective companionship. High-quality companionship must be attentive and attentive, so that children can truly feel their father\’s love, attention and concern for them. There are such model fathers at home and abroad. Jonathan Edwards was a famous American theologian in the 18th century and served as the president of Princeton University. He devoted his life to his 11 children and devoted himself to cultivating them. Every day before dinner, Edwards takes an hour to spend with his children. He takes one of the children for a walk every day alone. Under the influence of this good upbringing and family tradition, Edwards\’ descendants also emerged in large numbers with talented people. Secondly, fathers should pay attention to the impact of their words and deeds on their children when accompanying them, and strive to be a role model for their children. Liang Qichao once said in a letter home to his children, \”I often feel that I should use myself as a personality model for young people. At least I should not be ashamed to be a model for your sisters and brothers. I also believe that all of my children will be affected by my kind of behavior.\” Heredity and lessons will not degenerate because of the hardship or comfort of the environment.\” Liang Qichao said this, and he also did this. He set an example for his children in all aspects of self-cultivation, determination, conduct, and knowledge. Another example is that modern parents generally focus on cultivating their children\’s reading habits. In fact, the best way is for parents to accompany their children to read together, or for parents themselves to love reading, instead of always playing games and watching short videos on their mobile phones in front of their children. Father’s guidance: Helping children build self-esteem and sense of worth Fathers often have a more important role and influence than mothers in helping children build self-esteem and sense of worth. Jane Nelson pointed out in the book \”Positive Discipline\” that healthy self-esteem is the basis for children to develop the belief that \”I can do it.\” There is a \”self-determination theory\” about motivation in psychology. This theory believes that human beings have three basic needs: autonomy needs, competence needs and belonging needs. The need for autonomy is a sense of autonomy and control over children\’s choices, and the need for competence is the feeling that one can handle things well. Both of these needs are closely related to self-esteem. The gender characteristics and way of thinking of fathers, which are different from mothers, determine that fathers have more advantages in meeting their children\’s needs for autonomy and competence. Fathers are often more rational and rough than mothers, and can give their children more opportunities to try, experience and overcome difficulties. Therefore, spending more time with their fathers is often more conducive to the formation of their children\’s sense of control and self-esteem, as well as their confidence, courage, and Cultivation of qualities such as independence. In addition to helping children build self-esteem, fathers should also pay attention to cultivating their children\’s sense of value. A child\’s sense of worth largely comes from the evaluation of him or her by important others. Because the father plays the role of helmsman and authority in most families, his evaluation of his children is more likely to have an important impact on the formation of their children\’s sense of value and self-perception. In addition to establishing the necessary authority in the hearts of children, fathers also need to pay special attention to giving more positive comments and encouragement to their children so that they can feelBeing accepted and appreciated by his father. Psychological research shows that mothers are often more important than fathers in providing a sense of security, and in terms of affirmation and recognition of their children, fathers are more important than mothers. A father\’s encouragement, approval and praise for his children generally have a particularly heavy weight for the children. If a child\’s growth is compared to a road with both scenery and risks, then a father\’s love is like a bright light on this road, pointing out the direction for the child, giving the child courage and strength, and accompanying the child to move forward bravely. Time flies, and children’s growth will never come again. I hope every father can invest time, energy and wisdom to accompany and teach his children, assume the responsibility of a father, and leave no regrets in life.
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