A high school student peeked at the naked girl across the window, and his mother’s interference led to a murder: adolescence is a tribulation

Just because I took a peek late at night, I read an article in \”Friends\” yesterday, which was about a real case that happened in Fuzhou: Single mother Feng Jiahua, 46 years old, had been divorced for more than ten years, and her son Feng Ke (pseudonym) was A sophomore in a key high school with excellent grades. Renting across from their house was He Jing (a pseudonym), a female bar singer who was 3 years older than Feng Ke. After getting off work at 2 o\’clock every night, she was used to walking around naked at home without closing the curtains. One night, after Feng Ke accidentally saw He Jing\’s naked body a few meters away, he waited until two in the morning every night, causing his academic performance to decline rapidly. After discovering the truth, the mother angrily warned her son and went to find He Jing next door: \”…I solemnly ask you to pay attention to your shame. How can you be naked at home and not even close the curtains?…\” However, He Jing did not buy it. . Feng Jiahua found the landlord and compensated him 10,000 yuan. The landlord terminated the rental agreement and He Jing had to move out. However, what Feng Jiahua didn\’t expect was that Feng Yan became obsessed with He Jing after peeping on her naked body. He followed her to the bar where she worked and listened to her singing. He Jing moved away. In order to see her more often, Feng Yan lied about living on campus after he entered the third year of high school and said he wanted to concentrate on his studies. In fact, he often skipped studying at night and went to the bar to see He Jing. Soon the two fell in love and had sex at He Jing\’s residence. At the end of the college entrance examination, Feng Ke only scored more than 300 points and did not even pass the second level. And he refused to read it again. Feng Jiahua has been single for more than ten years and has endured many hardships. It is imaginable that he has sacrificed a lot. Of course she was not willing to accept that her son, who had excelled in studies until his sophomore year in high school, received such a result just because of that peek. She ordered her son to break up with He Jing, and confessed that she spent a lot of money to drive her away from the next door. After his son learned the truth, he said, \”I just like being with her.\” He moved out to live with He Jing and would not go home or answer the phone. Feng Jiahua approached He Jing to negotiate, hoping that she would leave her son, but what she said was not nice: \”Please leave my son immediately. Do you know that my son has been ruined by you? Why don\’t you think about your identity? You are just wandering around.\” How can a singer on a romantic occasion be worthy of my son?\” He Jing showed no sign of weakness. After slapping each other, she called Feng Ke in front of her mother to ask for help. Feng Ke came and held He Jing\’s arm. gone. In order to save her son, Feng Jiahua took a desperate risk: she asked her boyfriend to threaten He Jing with a knife to leave Feng Ke, otherwise he would scratch her face. He Jing did not compromise. During the struggle, He Jing was stabbed in the heart and died after resuscitation failed. Feng Jiahua and her boyfriend were sentenced to 10 and 12 years in prison respectively. One person died, two were in jail, and one was \”ruined\”. It can be called the most tragic! The above information refers to \”Friends\”. The tragic tragedy of Feng Jiahua\’s \”Five Mistakes\” made me unable to calm down for a long time after reading it! As a mother, I know how difficult it is to raise a child! There are countless pitfalls and dangers on his/her way to growth, so he must not make a mistake at every step. The child\’s excellent grades were admitted to a key high school. The mother and son must have put in a lot of effort! I walked on thin ice with fear all the way. By the time I was in my second year of high school, I saw the final sprint stage of the marathon. Who would have thought that it would be impossible?Suffered a fatal blow! Adolescent children cannot be understood by common sense, so what aspects did Feng Jiahua not do well in the entire incident? 1 The child’s sex education was neglected beforehand. The article does not mention Feng Jiahua’s sex education for her children, but it can be inferred from some details that she did not do a good job in this regard. For example, when she first discovered that her son stayed up late to wait for He Jing, she angrily warned her son to \”never do such a shameful thing again.\” It is perfectly normal for an adolescent boy to be attracted to the naked body of the young girl across from him, but in Feng Jiahua\’s view, it is a \”shameful thing\”, which shows that she does not understand the sexual psychology of adolescent boys. If she had given her child proper sex education, Feng Yan would probably still peep, but he might not be so obsessed with her like a goddess, or even want to know her and interact with her in life. 2 I neglected to cultivate my children\’s love outlook. Although it is not illegal to be naked in my own home, without even closing the curtains, it is really unnatural and goes against morality and public order and good customs. The neighbor\’s windows are only a few meters apart. When she goes to the balcony to collect clothes or when she drinks coffee in the living room, residents on floors higher than hers should be able to see her. Especially after being warned by Feng Jiahua that someone had seen him, he still went his own way. This has to be said to be a matter of quality and character. Feng Jiahua said to He Jing for the first time: \”Please pay attention to your integrity\”, and later said to her: \”Why don\’t you think about your identity? How can you, a singer who hangs out in romantic places, be worthy of my son?\” This shows that Feng Jiahua is She didn\’t like He Jing, but she didn\’t pass this standard of \”not looking down on\” to her son, and she didn\’t teach him what kind of girl was \”worthy\” of him. In other words, she didn\’t help her child establish a proper concept of love, so her son fell in love with the girl she didn\’t like. 3 Afterward, his son’s education was simple and rough. When he learned the truth for the first time, Feng Jiahua angrily warned his son that he “can’t do such a shameful thing again.” There was no in-depth conversation, no attempt to resolve the issue, no affirmation and comfort, and no plan for the future. She just gave her son an order that he could not carry out. With such a simple and crude education method, how could her son have a heart-to-heart relationship with her? So in his senior year of high school, he lied and went to live on campus. After failing the college entrance examination and refusing to repeat the exam, he continued to be with He Jing, and Feng Jiahua followed him to meet He Jing. When her son returned home, she \”clearly ordered him to break up with He Jing.\” How can an adolescent child still obey its mother\’s orders like a toddler? Such an unequal education method can only drive mother and child further and further apart. 4 Underestimating the opponent and using the wrong fighting method. What kind of person is He Jing? The first time Feng Jiahua came to her door and insulted her, telling her to pay attention to her integrity, she replied forcefully: \”I can do whatever I want in my own home, it\’s none of your business?\” The second time Feng Jiahua scolded her at the gate of the community, she could calmly call Feng Jiahua \”\” Mom!…\” After Feng Jiahua slapped her in excitement, she immediately slapped her back and called Feng Ke in person. First there were provocations, then demonstrations. Such a woman is obviously not a soft persimmon and cannot be manipulated at will. To deal with such a woman, one can obviously only fight with wits, not with courage. And what measures did Feng Jiahua take to deal with He Jing? from the first timeStarting from visiting someone\’s home, they then spent money to drive them away, then they insulted each other at the door of their community, causing them to break up with their son, and they even started slapping each other. Feng Jiahua relied on instinct and impulse to deal with problems. He scolded the other party impulsively, and found someone to threaten the other party impulsively. She fights bravely and ruthlessly, but she lacks wisdom. 5 The last thing you should do is take risks. Mother always thinks that her son is right and it is all his fault for seducing him. \”Let the vixen leave my son…\” is a classic choice made by mothers. To achieve the goal, it is nothing more than coercion and inducement. The rich mother uses checks to induce her, while the poor mother chooses to intimidate. Feng Jiahua was no exception. She asked someone to \”cut her face with a knife\” to intimidate He Jing. However, is He Jing that easy to bully? Feng Jiahua once again underestimated her. \”Wen Liangquan took out a fruit knife and threatened He Jing, asking her to agree to cut off all contact with Feng Ku from now on. He Jing grabbed Wen Liangquan\’s clothes and shouted robbery. Wen Liangquan was not mentally prepared for this, and in desperation, he used a fruit knife He Jing was stabbed with a knife.\” According to the description, the stabbing death of He Jing was purely accidental. Assuming that this accident did not happen, would He Jing accept the threat and leave Feng Yan? I don\’t think so. The greater possibility is that she wants to instigate Feng Yan and become more and more antagonistic to her mother from then on. The approach chosen by Feng Jiahua is high risk and low return! What would happen if we did it differently? If a child accidentally glimpses the naked body of a neighbor, this can be regarded as a force majeure, which is similar to being bitten by a dog while walking on the road. We cannot absolutely prevent it. What we can do is to minimize the impact after the incident. After Feng Ke has seen He Jing\’s naked body, can this tragedy be avoided? Let us assume what would happen if Feng Jiahua handled it in another way. If she has a good conversation with her son and takes the opportunity to popularize some necessary sexual knowledge to him (interview or give him some books and materials), will it reduce the child\’s curiosity about the opposite sex? Wouldn’t the child feel ashamed and at the same time be obsessed with He Jing? If she went to He Jing and begged her to kindly ask her to close the curtains at night for the sake of the minors preparing for the college entrance examination opposite, would He Jing agree? If she takes the opportunity to invite He Jing to her home for dinner, get to know her, break the mystery, and implore He Jing to encourage her son to study hard, will she agree? Will my son be inspired? If after He Jing refused to close the curtains, she instilled a correct view of love in her son and made him understand that if a girl is still naked even though she knows someone is peeking at her, there is a problem with her morality and quality, would he be less infatuated with her? Where is He Jing? If after she learned that her child failed the college entrance examination because she had been with He Jing, instead of going to He Jing impulsively, she had a good conversation with her son and told him: If you like her, you should give her a better life; or Talk about a man’s responsibilities, talk about the future and life, and suggest that he go back to college to take better care of his loved ones… Will he accept it? There are no ifs in life. The tragedy of Feng Ke and his mother has already happened and is irreversible. But there are still countless adolescent children in this world who are going through tribulation, and countless parents of middle school students are going through difficulties. What happened to Feng Ke may also happen to other children.On the body, you can learn from the past and be a guide for future events! I hope the next mother will be more carefree and less censorious towards her children!