A message to all single moms

The first thing single mothers must remember is: No matter how much grievances you endured in your previous marriage or how deep your resentment towards your former lover is, these have nothing to do with your children. In other words: For the sake of your child, you need to swallow your grievances and let go of your resentment in front of him. The reason is simple: the dissolution of your marriage is the fault of the adults (although it is very likely that you were not at fault, but as a former marriage community, the failure of the marriage is the responsibility of the operator), but not the fault of the children. For the sake of the children, With a healthy mind, a cheerful personality, complete love, and a bright future, everything you do is worth it. Just because we are mothers. How difficult is it to be a single mother? This is something that no one who has ever been a single mother can truly relate to. But no matter how difficult it is, please remember: this is the path you choose, a choice you make after weighing the pros and cons. I made this choice for a better life for myself and my children, rather than jumping from one fire pit into another with my children. Therefore, my opinion has always been that after a marriage dissolves, although we should no longer be friends, we do not need to become enemies with each other. Instead, we should handle the relationship with our ex-husband well and try to get along as friendly and harmoniously as possible (this rule also applies to single dads) ), when it comes to love and men, we don’t only have one chance to choose, but a child only has one father, just like a child has only one mother, which cannot be replaced by any one person. Before children came to us, we did not ask for their consent and brought them into this unpredictable world. For children, parents are their hosts. Yes, they just rely on us to grow. That\’s all, because they will eventually listen to the call of fate, make their own choices, and enter their own lives. What we need to do is to make adequate preparations and safety guarantees for his departure until they enter their own life track. Whether this road goes smoothly or not, the most important thing is the child\’s mental health and his ability to feel happiness. The healthier the mind is, the more timely one can adjust one\’s mentality in the face of setbacks and hardships. A good attitude will definitely bring him luck. This is the so-called \”Law of Attraction\”; and the ability to feel happiness will enable him to express it correctly. Love, accept love, love is the most beautiful thing in the world. A child whose heart is filled with love will also receive more healthy love. This is something that all parents understand, and they all hope that their children can become such people. But whether your child can become what you hope for does not depend on the child, but on you. It is a pity that children may be born in love (eros), but it is difficult for them to receive normal and healthy love from their parents. Marriage is trivial, and the long life together has already worn away the romance, infatuation, and even love. If \”love\” means hoping to be with you forever, then \”marriage\” means living together. In this regard, we don’t need to envy others. In essence, everyone is similar and achieves the same goal through different paths. Even the family atmosphere of many complete families is not as harmonious and relaxed as that of single-parent families. Either full of cold violence, or diffuseMaking noises with complaints, or silently enduring grievances and dissatisfaction, they are consumed day after day. So I always think that a woman who can get out of a marriage that no longer meets her expectations is brave, because first of all, she has the awareness that she no longer wants to be consumed, and has the awareness that she is willing to live for her own will. This is a crucial point. Only in this way can many brave single mothers have the belief that they want to live a better life for themselves and their children. It’s just that the right beliefs must be supported in the right way. There is no doubt that the choice of single mothers is indeed \”selfish\” for our children, but people must first live for themselves. Only when you are truly well can you have greater energy to ensure that your children good. This is also the reason why many children who grow up in so-called intact families still feel unhappy. Even their parents cannot or dare not live out their own lives, so how can their children live out their own lives? But we must also pay a price for this kind of correct \”selfishness\”. This price is to use everything to protect the simple and sensitive heart of the child, to make a change for the child\’s happiness, and to swallow the grievances of the past to ensure that the child can be with another child. The relationship between one party and the close and friendly father-daughter (father-son) relationship. So first of all, I ask you not to speak ill of your father in front of your children under any circumstances. Instead, you should say more good things about your father to your children and tell them that your father still loves you very much. This is when you need to be honest with your child. Whether you get married or divorced, this is an adult\’s choice, or it is an adult\’s fault, but as a child, you are never at fault, so you don\’t need to bear any pressure. In this case, few people will think that the child is a \”burden\”, but many people will feel too sorry for the child because they feel that the child is too pitiful. In fact, this is not necessary. Each of us is an independent individual, and we can make any choices about our lives – as long as you are willing to take responsibility for the choices you make. After a divorce, a single mother should not be responsible for her children out of \”guilt\”, but out of love and honesty. We love ourselves more, so we don’t want to be trapped in a bad marriage. We are more willing to become a better version of ourselves. We pass on this kind of love to our children, and we are willing to ensure that the children will still receive love from their significant other after the marriage is dissolved. What we can do is to keep our significant other in the children\’s minds without slandering or complaining in front of them. image, this is important. Even if the other person is a heinous bastard, we would rather remain silent in front of our children than try to avoid slandering him. If a child asks, you should try to evaluate it objectively instead of complaining with your own subjective emotions of hatred. Secondly, please love yourself first and keep your emotions in a stable state for a long time. Nothing in this world is more important to a child than a mother\’s stable and good emotions. The dissolution of marriage is the end of the old life and the beginning of a new life. Unfortunately, our emotions often cannot keep up with the pace of our life that has been changed. It often lags behind and looks back frequently. This is the main reason for people\’s pain. It is painful to break out of a cocoon and become a butterfly, but it is definitely better than being a butterfly.Trapped in a cocoon. As long as you break out of the cocoon, you will be successful one day; but when you are in the cocoon, it is not only you who are entangled in negative emotions, but also your children. Children are far more sensitive than we think. Just like many children who live in so-called complete families, they know very clearly that the relationship between their parents is not actually good and they are just trying to maintain it. If you are anxious, your child will also be anxious; if you are disappointed, your child will be disappointed; if you are miserable, your child will also find it difficult to be happy. In every aspect, mother is the most important guide for her child. So please love yourself. We should know that the strongest people in the world who will not betray you are blood relatives. And all the love in the world is actually irreversible. Even if you reunite and rebuild the old relationship, you can\’t go back to the past. All sequels to TV series are not good to watch. Trust me, your children will want the best for you more than you do yourself. Make yourself beautiful, make more money, and move forward. Even if it is a little difficult at the beginning and the pace is a little slow, as long as you don\’t stand still, you are making progress. Again, please treat your child as a close friend, not just a child. How should close friends get along? You can share everything you want to share, but you have your own independent world; you can have differences, but more importantly, you need to be honest with each other, and discuss issues as equals with each other. In any case, no matter how old our children are, they are not our appendages or our property. They are independent and individual people like us, but this independence will become more mature as they grow older – so no matter how naive they are, they are independent and worthy of respect. We cannot and should not control it, because we are not the final destination of our children, we are just the terminal where they take off. Especially after parents divorce, the love that children receive and give will be somewhat biased. As single mothers, after we get the love that should belong to us, we need to guide our children to give back to their father the love that their father gave them, easily. Ground, candid feedback to dad. This goes back to my previous proposition: no matter how much pain the other person has caused you, please ensure that the child has contact and interaction time with his father. If conditions permit, you can even tell your child: No matter when you miss your dad, you can call him or see him anytime, anywhere. This channel is always open to the child and dad, and you can come and go freely. The greatest significance of doing this is that your child will give you more love in return, because of your tolerance, your peace, your respect – these are the greatest love you have for your child, and they will definitely feel it. Finally, please continue to believe in love. The end of a love may have nothing to do with the object, it is just its fate. Thank you for your past relationships, which gave you such a unique child; and thank you for your past experiences, which allowed you to go through hardships and finally see the light of a new life on the road ahead, and finally let yourself get closer to a mature person. The closer. There are no wrong feelings in life, just like there are no wrong roads and wrong people. Everything you think is \”wrong\” will eventually succeed you, and the successful you will definitely be qualified to be loved and cherished. PlaceAs a single mother, you are really brave, and I hope you will continue to be full of courage and give yourself and your children more love and a better life – maybe it has nothing to do with material things, but only in this way can you be worthy of what you have eaten Only by suffering can we give our children a better future.