A mother who does these 4 things is better than 10 good teachers! I don’t think it’s a big loss

There is a saying: \”A successful person must have a mother who has super-knowledge.\” Zheng Yuanjie also said: \”A child\’s growth depends on his mother\’s success and failure.\” It can be seen that the mother\’s quality will affect the child\’s life destiny. However, many mothers are mothers for the first time and do not know how to take care of a child as he grows up, do not know how to communicate with children, what to do if their grades are bad, what to do if they fall in love early, or what to do if they are rebellious. Many mothers hope to be a perfect mother and give their children plenty of love, but sometimes it backfires, causing pain to their children and breaking their wings. So, what kind of mother is the ideal mother? Only then can we bring love to our children and help them succeed? Mothers who give their children freedom. Many mothers are very strong. They regard their children as their own private property, forcefully instill their own expectations and values ​​​​into their children, take over all kinds of affairs for their children, and make decisions and do everything for their children. As long as children are unwilling, they will be frustrated, frustrated, complaining, and angry. Wait until the children compromise, and then demand and coerce them in the name of love. Fan Wei, a friend of Rui’s mother, is an expert in child psychology. When she recently shared her parenting experience with parents, she kept emphasizing that children raised by strong mothers can easily develop weak and inferior characters. Mothers who like to help their children make decisions , the children raised often have no ideas, no opinions, and like to rely on others for everything. Every child is an independent individual, not our appendage. They should walk independently in life, rather than being led by their mother like a puppet on a string. Mothers are just guides on their children’s life journey, so we must show weakness appropriately and return the right to choose and autonomy to our children. Of course, giving children freedom does not mean giving them up. Children\’s life experience is limited. When faced with major choices, mothers still need to help their children weigh the pros and cons and allow them to think clearly and make judgments. In this way, children will avoid unnecessary setbacks and detours as they grow. Optimistic Mothers Many mothers do not distinguish between public and private matters and always like to bring negative energy from outside or at work into their homes. It\’s okay to do it occasionally, but if you do it regularly, it will have an irreversible impact on the child. Parents\’ way of thinking will be copied and pasted on their children. If the mother comes home with a droopy face every day, and plays the same grievances about her wife every day, then the child will also become self-pitying, pessimistic and world-weary. There is a saying that goes well: \”How can a mother without happiness raise children with happiness?\” No child will feel relaxed and happy when facing a resentful woman every day. They can either silently endure their mother\’s complaints and feel dizzy and chest tight like inhaling second-hand smoke, or they can become little adults and their mother\’s parents, comforting her, taking care of her, and bearing the burden that should not be theirs. No matter which one it is, it is not beneficial to the growth of children and will bring serious psychological load to them. Therefore, even if we are the dearest and most beloved mothers to our children, we are not qualified to plant the seeds of sadness in our children’s hearts, unless we want to infect our children with depression and make them become the same as us.People who complain. Kahneman, the Nobel Prize winner in economics, once said: If you can give your children an ability, please seriously consider optimism. Hopefully, we can all become such parents. A mother who is not vain and does not compare. Chinese mothers are famous for their love of comparison. From their children\’s appearance to their height, from their food and clothing expenses to their academic performance, there is nothing that they do not compare with. Many mothers said that they did this just to give their children a goal to strive for and work hard for, and they did not feel that their children were inferior to others. However, have mothers ever thought that this kind of \”doing good for their children\” based on vanity will not only fail to inspire their children, but will seriously damage their children\’s self-esteem and self-confidence. Children with a good mentality may not be able to stand this kind of stimulation and will not make steamed buns to fight for their breath; but some children with low psychological endurance can easily leave a shadow in their hearts and either become broken or become introverted and have low self-esteem. Every child has his own unique talents. Others\’ strengths may be his shortcomings, and what others are not good at may be our children\’s strengths. Therefore, mothers should not always compare their children with other families, but should respect their children, help them find their shining points and vanity, and help them be the best version of themselves and shine with their unique brilliance. Gentle Mother I believe that before becoming a mother, many mothers vowed that they would become a gentle and pleasant mother. However, the ideal is very full and the reality is very skinny. When faced with children who often make a mess at home, occasionally get into trouble, and are disobedient, our vows are thrown aside and we get angry at our children. Teacher Fan Wei, a child psychology expert, said that growing children have a characteristic that they will only remember things that are highly stimulating or have a deep impression on themselves. If a mother often loses her temper in front of her children, even if you have a gentle side, in the child\’s impression you will still be a grumpy, hysterical mother. It is said that children are copies of their parents. Children are like mirrors, reflecting everything their parents say and do. If the mother has a bad temper, the child will follow suit and be harsh to others, not calm when things happen, have an unhealthy personality, and deteriorate interpersonal relationships. A mother with a bad temper will stifle her child\’s childhood, eliminate the fun in her child\’s life, make her child lose their sense of security, and lead to alienation in the parent-child relationship. So, mothers, no matter what hardships life throws at you, please control your temper in front of your children. If you give your children tenderness and respect, they will reciprocate the love and give you a paradise with birds singing and flowers fragrant.