A mother’s reflection: If I were to raise my daughter again, I would never step on these 4 pitfalls again

I am a mother of two children, my eldest daughter is 12 years old and my younger daughter is 7 years old. When writing this article, I have never felt so sorry for my eldest daughter and regretted the way I educated her. During the Mid-Autumn Festival some time ago, several relatives had dinner together. At the dinner table, the adults inevitably talked about the children\’s studies. My eldest son’s grades are at the bottom among these children. The second child\’s grades have always been among the best in the class. During the dinner, listening to the conversations of the adults, the boss remained silent, and there was even a light mist in his eyes. The second child was like a little butterfly, running around happily, and she became particularly proud and happy because of the adults\’ praise of her. Comparing the two cars, I felt extremely sorry for the boss. yes! They are all half-grown children, and they must also be eager to be praised and praised by adults, instead of being the last among their peers every time. It was also at that moment that I began to reflect on some educational truths that I had always ignored. Is guzheng easy to learn? The complete collection of Yuan Sha\’s guzheng teaching videos is a rare and good teaching material for guzheng learning. If I could raise my daughter again, I would never want her to be \”happy.\” After the eldest son was born, we gave her all the freedom and love. I always feel that, of course, a girl should be pampered and pampered so that she can grow up healthily and happily. So I didn’t do any early education for her and let her spend three years in kindergarten easily while having fun. Until he entered elementary school, the eldest child still had a blank slate without knowing a word or counting. But soon, we were fooled. Everyone has learned the basics of Pinyin and English, but the teacher just skipped it; she had just learned about addition and subtraction within 10, but the teacher had already accelerated the progress and started teaching arithmetic within 100… She couldn\’t keep up with the pace of learning at work. The scores in all subjects were at the bottom. At that time, I still didn\’t pay much attention. I thought, my grades were just about the same, and there was nothing wrong with being a happy ordinary kid. But I overlooked that the child himself did not think so. Even small children already have their own self-esteem and vanity. When other students in class could recite those Tang poems smoothly, she would feel embarrassed because she couldn\’t recite them, and would secretly shed tears because of her sadness. Every time when the test results come out and I see my dismal results, I can\’t help but break down and cry when I go home. Seeing the big red crosses behind the arithmetic problems in the homework book, she would ask me aggrievedly: \”Mom, am I stupid? I always make mistakes…\” Time and time again, she was hit by being unable to compare with her peers, and her grades were repeated. Disappointed at the bottom, she began to gradually become nervous, fragile, sensitive, and had low self-esteem. She also habitually avoided and denied herself when encountering difficulties. At this time, no matter how hard we push her, it will be difficult for her to catch up with other classmates. It was then that I realized a very important point: parents can make their children \”happy\”, but schools can\’t, let alone society. Even children will inevitably fall into a competitive environment. No one wants to lose all the time and be worse than others. When the second child entered kindergarten, I happened to be adjusted to a relatively relaxed position, so I had more time to guide her. I accompany her to recite ancient poems, sing children\’s songs, learn Pinyin… After having a certain foundation, the second child can learn easily, and his enthusiasm and initiative are much higher than that of the eldest child. Now, looking at the completely different looks of the two daughters, the eldest has low self-esteem and is speechless, while the second is confident and public. I regret, regret that I patronized and indulged her to play with when she was little. A child who is always the backdrop for others is destined to never be truly happy. Every child desires to shine. Although the learning process will be hard, the sense of accomplishment and self-confidence that children gain after putting in hard work and achieving results are the high-level happiness that is truly irreplaceable. If I could raise my daughter again, I would never indulge her bad habits again. I was raised by my parents as a free-range child, so subconsciously I always felt that only those boys who are arrogant and noisy need their parents to chase them around. Rush them to learn. As for my good daughter, she can be conscious, obedient, and develop good habits without my supervision at all. I never thought that this idea was completely wrong. There has never been a child born with self-consciousness in this world. No matter boy or girl, they cannot escape their playful nature. The first thing the eldest does when he comes home every night is never to do homework. Instead, he runs to the living room and watches two episodes of TV. She often sneaks into my grandparents\’ room behind my back and secretly plays games on the old man\’s mobile phone. She also acts like a spoiled child and doesn\’t allow my grandparents to tell anyone. Before, I always turned a blind eye, always thinking that my child was tired enough from school, so I wanted to let her play more. When she grows up, she will naturally know how to work hard. But precisely because I didn\’t take care of her very much since she was a child, she unknowingly developed a lot of bad habits, which is really frustrating. It\’s hard to do homework. Sometimes I touch the eraser, sometimes I play with a pencil. I either want to drink water or go to the toilet. I can\’t calm down and study hard at all. Even the teacher called me several times. Either the homework was not completed as required, or the recitation tasks assigned were cut corners. The indulgence she had as a child turned her into a child who was habitually lazy and had no self-consciousness. I can\’t help but think of what the mother of Yang Chenyu, the top scorer in the college entrance examination, once said: \”You must supervise your child to develop habits when he has no ability to think independently. This process is very painful. You have to supervise him and pay attention to him all the time. Him. After giving him a good shape, the road ahead will be easy.\” No child is born willing to sit on the bench and study. A child who is self-conscious and self-disciplined needs to be properly \”forced\” to develop. Raising children is like walking. If you find that the route you are taking is wrong, you should adjust to the right track in time. Over time, a small path will be created. You know, there are no naturally conscious children, only parents who have long-term supervision. Unfortunately, I didn\’t understand this until now. Recommend a good documentary: Clarkson\’s Farm Season 1, all 8 episodes, 1080P ultra-clear. If you can raise your daughter again, you will never be \”soft\” on her again. I often see this sentence on the Internet: If you raise a daughter, you must be cruel to her. a little. Now that I think about it, it’s so right. When the eldest child was 6 years old, I wanted to cultivate some interests and hobbies for her. I didn’t want to learn more, but just wanted to have a skill. As a result, I signed up for a dance class.After learning for a while, the guy would go home and cry. He thought it was too painful, too painful, and too tired, and refused to continue learning. Her father and I felt sorry for her as a little girl who had to endure such hardship at such a young age, so we didn’t persist. Later, I enrolled her in a calligraphy class, but ended up spending three days fishing and two days drying nets, and nothing came of it. Until the end, I didn\’t learn a single specialty. One Children\’s Day, their class held a performance, and many students came on stage to participate in the performance. My daughter could only watch helplessly. At that time, I felt her envy and loss. With the lesson learned from the eldest son, I am much more ruthless in cultivating the interests of the second eldest child. The second child was attracted to roller skating when he was 5 years old, and he clamored to learn roller skating. Of course, like her sister, after just a few days of learning and falling several times, she refused to take roller skating classes again no matter what. But this time I did not relent, but stayed with her through wind and rain. Sometimes when I watch her training, she will be bruised and bruised after falling. It would be a lie to say that she doesn’t feel distressed. But I still forced myself to be \”cruel\”. Gradually, as the training became more and more proficient, the second child, who was resistant at the beginning, now obediently follows me to class on time. Especially after winning the prize in the last children\’s talent competition, she has become more confident in roller skating, and she has become more optimistic and positive. Now think about it, when we face the boss, we always say \”respect the children\”. This seems very enlightened, but in fact it is a kind of harm to the children. Although the child escaped the immediate hardship, it left irreparable regrets on the road to growth. If parents allow their children to give up casually, their children will never learn the meaning of persistence throughout their lives. If I could raise my daughter again, I would never have any entrustment mentality. In family education, there is a common phenomenon: parents think that by sending their children to school, they can rely entirely on the teacher for their education, and they will be completely liberated. At the beginning, I also had this mentality. But how can children’s education be so simple? I thought that I would just leave my children to the teachers, but I overlooked a very important issue: some education teachers cannot give to their children, only parents can. Good habits, strong will, sound personality, decent upbringing… These all require the guidance of parents\’ companionship and role models. The most impressive time: My boss was doing homework, and I just got home from get off work, so I just wanted to lie down on the sofa and play with my phone for a while. When she saw it, she immediately came to me and watched the video with me. I yelled at her: \”Hurry up and do your homework, don\’t you want to be criticized by the teacher?\” Who knew she replied with a disapproving look on her face: \”You only know how to ask me to do homework, why are you so comfortable playing with your phone? Obviously You just said that your work is not yet done!\” We always think that it is enough for our children to go to school and have the guidance of teachers. However, we do not know that besides school, family is the most important place to educate children. I remembered a message I had read online from a mother: \”When my child learned guzheng, she was too young. After class, she soon forgot what the teacher taught. I had to learn it for my child first. My fingering practice is more standard than hers, so that I can reproduce the content in the teacher\’s class. My child learned to make airplanes in the science and technology training class, and I had to work with her to figure out how to make the airplane fly.To the blue sky. When my child learns about train encounters, I have to \’encounter\’ her back and forth in the living room over and over again. This is called growing up with children. I can\’t be idle while my children are doing their homework. I have to read books, read newspapers, and take various professional certificates. I have to \’chicken\’ myself, the subtext is: Look at mom working hard too, you have to work hard too. This is called setting an example for children. \”Yeah! I\’m so naive! If you want to educate children well, it\’s impossible to rely on the teacher alone. The education that runs through the child\’s life depends on the parents. The child is like a shriveled sponge, absorbing the energy of the family all the time. The living environment, parents’ words and deeds, etc. have an impact on them. The family is the first stop for education, and parents are their children’s teachers who will never retire. Those outstanding children are never born out of nowhere, but parents use practical In exchange for real efforts and every bit of companionship. The New York Times bestseller list’s top ten recommended methods of happiness are ultra-clear PDF. Diane Lenmans wrote a little poem: If I could raise you again As a child, I will build self-esteem first before deciding to build a house. I will use my fingers more to draw pictures and less to point. I will teach less and communicate more. I will use my eyes less to look at the clock and more to see the world. I will run. Go to more fields and see more stars. …However, there are many things in this world that you don’t have a chance to do again, and the same goes for educating children. I have left so many regrets. I only hope that after reading this article, you will During the days when you still have time to accompany and educate your children, cherish them and don’t be lazy. Being a parent requires continuous efforts. Doushenda Chinese Children’s Chinese Studies Classic Reading Download The Analects of Confucius 40 Episodes Video Don’t miss the best opportunity for education In the middle, let go and treat it as waiting for the flowers to bloom.