A poor student commented on his father\’s autobiography, every sentence was classic, and all the parents applauded him

This is the father of a \”poor student\” who is also an educator. He is familiar with various educational theories, but has encountered many pitfalls on the road to family education. His speech at the parent-teacher conference, which he has experienced setbacks, will definitely give you some inspiration and thinking. Teacher, dear friends, hello everyone! Today, all parents and friends must represent different levels. I probably want to say a few words on behalf of those parents of children who are relatively backward but are making progress, so the first half of my speech may be more like a review. My child\’s mother and I are very concerned about our children\’s learning and have devoted a lot, but this is not a pleasant process. I am an educator, with a head full of educational ideals and educational theories, so from the beginning I tried not to interfere with children\’s learning. I adhered to the principles of more observation, more encouragement, and more guidance. I insisted on not enrolling in classes outside and believing in my own education. . As a result, I saw children dawdling away, often feeling like their brains were disconnected. They were dazed for long periods of time, and their homework often lasted until ten to eleven o\’clock. So, I finally gave up my original idea and started accompanying her to study and tutoring. From then on, my family was filled with scolding, dissatisfaction and crying. I can\’t accept this fact. Anyone who is a teacher knows that if you are not afraid of being stupid, you are just afraid that you lack willpower; if you are not afraid of not being able to learn, you are just afraid that you do not have good habits of compactness and self-management. The emotion of failure can easily turn into irritability. When I was at my wits end, I would spank my children, sometimes very severely. Whenever I spank a child, especially when I hit him hard, I feel extremely bad, and when I see the child huddled in the corner, helpless, crying silently; whenever I see this child who is usually so beautiful and lovely, and he doesn’t care. He is far from able to fight against me physically and mentally. Just because he is studying, he has to endure psychological and physical torture. And this man is his treasure, his only one. At this time, it is difficult to express his pity, regret, and heartache. To this day, whenever I think back to those years and read the articles I wrote back then, I still feel very sorry for my children. My children often read my articles, and he knows that his father’s regret is true. What makes his father worthy of him is his father\’s persistence and tenacity to never give up. For example, when my children were young and needed a foundation in classical culture the most, I spent two consecutive winter and summer vacations without going anywhere. I memorized the Analects of Confucius, the Three-Character Classic, and the Thousand-Character Classic with my children, and he memorized them as well. I didn\’t see any effect at that time. Now when my children watch TV, they especially like to watch cultural programs. They feel a sense of intimacy and pride when they see classic content. I know that the efforts of those years worked. Last year I took him on a trip with some of his friends’ children. Other children like to go to the amusement park. My children like to enjoy famous gardens with me. They can drink tea quietly, admire Suzhou Pingtan in silence, and go to the Xumen where Wu Zixu died. He has mourning sorrow. It is impossible for others to notice these subtle changes. Whenever this happens, I feel happy that there is some trace of culture in the child, which seems to be a kind of gain. When my child was in second grade, he started to write essays. It was very difficult to write essays. He would hold it for a long time. After half an hour, I went to look at it and couldn’t write a single line of words in the notebook. What should I do? Whenever he had a composition assignment, I would feel as nervous as if I was facing an enemy. Later I was writingBefore writing the essay, I first chatted with the child to determine the material for the essay, and listened to him talk about his experience in the activities and scenes of interest, which were often lifelike and full of childlike interest. Sometimes the attention paid to a certain detail is beyond the expectations of adults, which often makes me happy and happy. I tell my children that what you say is a wonderful composition. As a result, unexpectedly, the writing was still dry, with only a few lines. I realized that the child\’s language ability and writing ability were not developed in a coordinated manner. At least, my eyes and questions gave him encouragement and guidance when he spoke. When he wrote independently, his writing speed could not keep up with the flow of language. By the time he got to where he was writing, he had forgotten what he had just thought about. If the school teaches composition instead of writing, his composition must be excellent, but how can we change the tradition of the school? Later, when I really had no other choice, I used a pencil to record the conversation quietly with my child. Because I recorded in a hurry and the writing was sloppy, the child could not understand it. I then transcribed it again in block letters. When I finished writing and read it to the child, the child was very excited. I was so excited, I never thought that he could come up with such a good article. Tell your children that this is your composition. It is entirely your own creation. Copy it word for word and give it to the teacher. The teacher will definitely be satisfied. As I expected, during the class composition review, the teacher read it to the whole class for the first time. The children\’s excitement did not subside until they came home from school. After persisting in this way for a year, his compositions have maintained a high reading rate. Later, even if I stopped interfering, there was no obvious regression. When he encounters a topic prescribed by the teacher and he feels nowhere to write, I will sit next to him with my laptop and agree that he will write in the notebook with a pen and I will write on the computer with the keyboard, and then we will exchange readings with each other. , see if you can get some inspiration. Several of my workable essays were written under such circumstances. Although my children may not have an advantage over many better children in writing now, they are no longer afraid of writing. When writing an article about Lu Xun a few days ago, although he was only asked to write 600 words, he actually wrote more than a thousand words eloquently until there was no place to write. His sense of accomplishment was beyond words and he asked repeatedly: \”Dad, do you think you can compare with Lu Xun?\” Have you written your article? At least it can compare with when you were this old?\” The results of coaching children\’s writing have made me realize that children are not necessarily bad, they are just different from others? But I don’t have more time for education, and he doesn’t have more time to receive an education that suits him. Isn’t it that our adult world is sorry for him? Among all the disappointments, I am somewhat relieved that there is no big obstacle in the communication between me and my children, and we can go for a walk together. Before he goes to sleep, if I have time, I can sit by his bed and have a conversation. He even has the same hobby of drinking tea as the two of us. On weekends as a family, we serve Kung Fu tea and casual chatting is also how we communicate. Although there are still scoldings, there are more reminders. When he didn\’t like to listen, I wrote a note and put it next to his schoolbag. During holidays, I wrote a note to remind him to make plans for his study and entertainment. When he had conflicts with classmates or teachers, I asked him to ask questions about himself.Ji, why me, why is it always me? When he thought that others were trampling on his self-esteem, I told him: \”Dignity is established by one\’s own actions over a long period of time. It is not something that can be obtained by crying and screaming for others.\” When the mottos piled up under the glass plate, he When I have turned a blind eye, I write letters and write articles. I also exchange in-depth opinions with each other on the news I heard and the interesting information I saw in the newspapers. Sometimes his opinions will be higher than mine, which can form my There are articles like this on my blog that express my appreciation for him. The child can read my articles, and it is a little bit of pride for him that his father can write articles. This is probably not because of how well his father writes, nor how many truths he talks about, but because it contains not only my disappointment and disappointment in him, but also my disappointment in him. Helpless, there is also the joy that my child brings to me and my true appreciation for him. Recently, I have truly felt that what my child really needs is not truth. For many things, it’s not that he doesn’t want to do it, it’s that he can’t restrain himself, it’s not that he doesn’t want to do well, but that he owes too much and is unable to catch up. What he needs is concrete advice. s help. Regarding homework, we have been required to pay attention to neatness and cleanliness since we were young. How many years are required to keep it unclean and untidy. This is because we know it when we listen and forget it when we do it. It is required that the mistakes pointed out by the teacher must be corrected in time. How many times can this be done? It’s because in fact, I either didn’t understand it in class, or I didn’t listen well. In short, I don’t have the ability to correct it, and I have done invalid homework for many years! So this semester I changed my strategy and started with daily homework. After he finished his math and physics homework, I had to do it over again and correct him one by one. I highlighted where details should be added and where steps should be improved; I told him about it and asked him to repeat it. The result of doing and re-doing is that he responded faster than others to the class review the next day, and often got the opportunity to replace the teacher to give lectures to others. This was another opportunity for him to consolidate, and he also gained happiness from this. Over the past half semester, I have hardly missed a day. I have persisted. Even if there is an unavoidable entertainment, I will let the child put the homework on the table and go to bed first. I will correct it when I go back, and let him get up early the next day. Revision. Now that my child has made some progress, what I care about is not the change in ranking, but that he has a firm pursuit. In the geography and biology final exams, I told him that he had to get a B grade in order to have the chance to go to high school. The child thought for a while and said, \”Dad, I can\’t set the goal as B. That would risk getting a C. If I set the goal If it’s an A, if you work hard, the worst you can do is a B.” As a father of a child, after going through some difficult experiences like this, what could be happier than hearing such an expression? I eagerly sent a text message to Teacher Yang to express my joy. I have always been very sincerely grateful to Teacher Yang for enduring, encouraging, and never giving up on him. So I said to my children at the dinner table: \”How good you are as Teacher Yang. No matter how bad, annoying, or troublesome you were in the past, I never gave up on you. When you grow up, I don\’t care what you think. Anyway, I Your mother and you should keep in touch with Teacher Yang and become good friends.\” Unexpectedly, the child immediately corrected me: \”You should also keep in touch with Teacher Chen and Teacher Chang.Keep in touch, they are all great. \”The child is right. The teachers are really good. They send text messages to me or the child\’s mother almost every day. They are not group messages, reminding him of homework and praising his little progress. The child finally understands how to feel. They all said Children who are 13 or 14 years old are rebellious. I am gratified that at this time, my children already know how to be grateful in their hearts. Who said that my education has not gained anything? This may be considered a gain! Finally, I would like to share a few things with all my friends. My point of view: Accept the present and future of our children, no matter what the present and future are, but you must always try your best to educate them. Not only are excellent parents bound to have excellent children, just like ordinary parents It is equally possible to have children who are different; not all good habits are given by parents, and not all bad habits are due to improper education by parents. My experience is an example. No matter what your child is like, we We can only accept it, but since this is our child and we bring him into this world, we can only love her (him) the most and give him the best education you can give him. Maybe it is a kind of happiness, Don’t torture each other into pain. Maybe there are two situations that can be happy: if your child is smart, beautiful, has good habits, is good at self-control, never lets you worry about learning, and the teacher praises you for your good parenting, you yourself will also If you feel very accomplished, you are indeed very happy; if your child is not so outstanding, you have to educate, educate repeatedly, and rub shoulders with your child. You spend more time with your child and talk more. I think all family relationships are Being together, isn’t this happiness? When children become adults, they have fewer opportunities to get close to each other. When they are underage, spend more time with your children than others. Don’t put the possibility of happiness at risk like I did before. , become mutual torture. Only the closest people in the world can hurt the closest people, and it lasts for a long time. Every child is different, and I’m talking about all aspects; sometimes it’s not the attitude that a child can’t do, but the attitude. Ability. No one beats their children every day because they are not as tall as others; no one scolds their children every day because they cannot outrun Liu Xiang. Because the difference in appearance is visible, we admit it. The same goes for the admission rate. Schools do not discriminate because of this. , but just because you can’t swallow your breath and refuse to let go of your child, why bother? Invisible differences also exist. Why do you miss everything? Why do you delay like this? Parents and friends, this is probably not because Attitude, just like he can\’t learn, grow taller, or run fast, we can only help him manage his time and grow with him, but there is no way to blame him. Don\’t characterize the problem and solve the problem; don\’t talk too much about the truth. , children need specific help; there is no need to talk about methods, all skills lie in the process and accumulation of doing specific things, doing specific questions. I seem to have said this clearly before. In fact, everyone knows that children already know too much , it’s not that he doesn’t recognize these principles, it’s just that he can’t do it. In fact, they need specific help, just like I said before. Of course, there is no one method that suits all children., my method is the same, and besides, I am far from success! It is a myth that education has immediate results. I would rather believe that my child is a late bloomer. The longer I have been a father and the longer I have been a teacher, the more I feel that I have almost no beginnings in education. This is not modesty at all. It is true. Although I am ready to persevere, I still don’t know when it will work. Maybe I won’t see results when I work hard, or maybe my child will suddenly grow up at a certain moment when I am not prepared. But, I have to persist. Just like people\’s height, they develop sooner or later, and maybe the same goes for IQ and EQ. I would rather believe that my child is a late bloomer. For the elderly, we often say that it is a pity that the tree wants to be quiet but the wind does not stop, and the child wants to be raised but the relatives are not there. Regarding my child, if I give up lightly, then if the child\’s life is not satisfactory in the future, I will feel guilty and regret that I did not help him when he needed it most.