A truly high-level education is to allow children to be themselves

I remember a point in an article I read before. A common misunderstanding in Chinese-style education is that no matter what parents do or say, it is all for the benefit of their children. As a child, you can only accept and obey unconditionally. You can\’t even raise an objection, let alone make any rebellious behavior. Otherwise, it means being disobedient, unfilial, and ignorant. In the huge lie of the so-called \”for the good of the children\”, they always hurt the children in the name of love, torture the children, and keep the children under their control. In essence, it is a low-level education. Many ordinary low-level parents always say: \”Look at other people\’s children, look at you.\” They always like to compare their children with others, while high-level smart parents always encourage their children to do They themselves never force their children to do things they don’t like. High-level parental education means respecting and understanding children and understanding the importance of empathy. They never ask and order their children with the high status of elders. They have a high-level vision and structure. The children educated in this way must also be excellent in nature. I remember a poem about Kahlil Gibran, \”Children\”: Your children are actually not your children. They are the children born of life\’s desire for itself. They came to this world through you, but not because of you. They are beside you, but they do not belong to you. What you can give them is your love, not your thoughts. Because they have their own thoughts. You can protect their bodies, but not their souls. Because their souls belong to tomorrow, to a tomorrow you can\’t even dream of. You can try your best to become like them, but don\’t let them become like you, because life will not retreat or stay in the past. Therefore, children are not the private property of their parents, nor are they their accessory products, but are equally independent individuals. Children are not their parents\’ emotional trash cans, nor are they substitutes for their parents to complete their unfinished dreams. A truly high-level education is to give children the space to grow freely and bloom freely, allowing children to become what they want according to their own ideas and dreams in their hearts, and create their own world. In real life, parents with Chinese-style family education, based on the moral shackles of \”for your sake\” and \”for your own good\”, have imprisoned one soul after another that was completely free to fly, and buried the dreams of generations after generations. That\’s not really high-level education, that\’s very low-level strangulation. A truly high-level education is to allow children to be themselves, to become free people, to be what they originally expect and like. I watched a video about girls, which said: Before I was five years old, they told me that girls couldn’t open their knees when they sat down, and that I couldn’t mingle with boys. Girls should play house and pretend to be mothers or wives. Before I was ten years old, they said I should help wash the dishes, although I was reluctant because it seemed like being a boy meant I didn’t have to do that. Before I turned 20, they told me I was too fat, that good girls shouldn’t dress like this, and that a salad for lunch would be enough. at meBefore I turned thirty, they told me that no one wanted me anymore and that I had to quickly find a reliable man to marry. It was really time to get married. Before I turned 40, they told me that I had to be a good mother, take care of my job and my daughter, and that it would be best if I only looked thirty. Now I am forty years old and my daughter is growing up day by day. She is sweet and sunny, flexible and strong. I will teach her to listen to her heart. She can be whatever she wants, as long as she really likes it, I will give her advice, but I will not interfere in her life. Because real love is not about control, but about letting children be themselves. This is also a truly high-level education in nature. Relatively speaking, low-level education is like a mold that has already been finalized. It puts all children into this mold and framework for education and training. In the end, all children are the same. They seem to have no thoughts or opinions of their own. They grow up and live a normal life, and then live a normal life. Jiaxin told me that during the summer vacation last year, when she went home, her mother was super dissatisfied with her because of some dresses she bought. Jiaxin was a sophomore in college at that time. There was nothing wrong with girls wearing skirts in college, but her mother turned from nagging to getting angry and even losing her temper because of it. He said very unpleasant things: \”You shouldn\’t wear skirts as a student. Students should look like students.\” \”If you wear such a skirt, you are not married. People will think you want to seduce men.\” \”And you… Hair, no matter what kind of braid it is, what kind of pattern it is, you can\’t just wear it in a ponytail as a student.\” Jiaxin felt very aggrieved after hearing this. The skirt she wore was worn by many college students. She was already twenty years old, and she couldn\’t still wear it in a ponytail. Do you wear skirts in school? When girls grow up, everyone who doesn’t love beauty likes to be prettier. There is nothing wrong with wearing a skirt, changing your hairstyle, and learning to wear light makeup. But Jiaxin\’s mother strongly opposed it. She always thought it was the behavior of a bad girl. What he cared about the most since he was a child was Jiaxin\’s grades, and he always wanted Jiaxin to be among the best. Jiaxin was also repeatedly asked to dress rigidly and conservatively, and her hair could not be worn loose, but must be tied up. So when Jiaxin buys clothes, her first look is not whether she likes them, but whether her mother will like them. She also attaches great importance to each test result, because since she was a child, if her result last time was first, but not this time, her mother\’s face would be particularly ugly. Jiaxin said that when she was a child, she studied hard to make her mother happy. Take the exam well for your mother, and study for your mother. But Jiaxin was never happy. She studied for grades and rankings, and studied to get more attention from the teacher. The worst thing at that time was during the middle school period. Jiaxin\’s \”spirit\” was very important. , so severe that she even felt she hated herself like this. Later, she studied very hard and became independent when she went to college. She gradually became more independent. But every time she thought of her mother, and all the control over her, and her father, who never encouraged and always poured cold water on her, she didn\’t want to go home, and she never loved home. Therefore, a truly high-level education is never about what kind of person your children should be.He must follow his parents\’ instructions, but parents should learn to think from their perspective and see and think about problems from their children\’s perspective. Because children are not your accessories or puppets under your control. They have their own thoughts and plans. Parents should learn to respect and understand their children\’s thoughts. I think children who are educated at a low level may eventually become the popular \”Mama\’s boys\” and \”Mama\’s girls.\” Letting children be themselves shows respect for them. Respecting a person means respecting his rights and obligations, allowing him to be his own master and have the right to create himself. Creating yourself means not giving the right to create yourself to others, not letting others forcefully intrude into you to shape yourself, and not becoming a copy of anyone else. Because I am a teacher major, I read a lot of educational books. I previously read \”The Most Beautiful Education is the Simplest\” by Yin Jianli. I have the following suggestions for children\’s high-level education: 1. Parents should always keep learning and growing. When parents educate their children, they always ask their children to learn and grow, but ignore their own learning and growth. In fact, words are not as good as teaching by example. When parents are constantly asking themselves to grow, then their own vision will not be narrow, nor will they always demand that their children must be controlled by them. As parents learn and grow all the time, they will better understand the importance of freedom to their children. 2. Educating children does not mean that the more you pay, the better. Too much attention and intervention from parents will often hinder the growth of their children. I remember that \”The Biography of Guo Lituo on Planting Trees\” talks about Guo Lituo\’s experience in planting trees. This is actually the same as educating children. Parents should let their children grow up freely, preserve their children\’s nature, and not interfere too much in their children\’s lives. 3. Strict education is dangerous education. I think many children have this experience. They especially look at their parents’ eyes and will never do anything their parents don’t allow because they are afraid of punishment. I disagree with the sayings \”A filial son emerges from under a stick\” and \”A strict teacher produces a wise disciple\”. Parents all over the world love their children, but severe beatings and scolding will cause permanent harm to their children. 4. What is unnatural is problematic. Not allowing children to be themselves is an unnatural phenomenon. For example, when a tree grows, it seems to grow naturally, but the gardener wants to make it more artistic. This is not the way a small tree can grow. Therefore, let your child be free, be himself, and let him grow up as he could. 5. Parents should always reflect on themselves as parents. First of all, they should be a more perfect \”person\”, and they should also make themselves a mature \”person\”. Because some of the parents’ own shortcomings and bad old ideas will have a subtle impact on their children. As parents, we should always reflect on the mistakes we have made. 6. Even if you become a parent, you should \”be yourself.\” Only when parents become themselves can they think from their perspective and understand their children\’s freedom and desire to be themselves. The best state is: parents and children being themselves together. Therefore, I would like to say that a truly high-level education is to let children be themselves and be whatever they want to be, as long as the children are doingHis own process is what he really wants. To a certain extent, the education of low-level parents often uses children to satisfy their own sense of achievement, but they forget that children are never the source of parents\’ sense of achievement. Therefore, parents should use respect to shape their children\’s intrinsic value, let them be their own masters, and learn to manage themselves. Because true love is never about controlling, but about letting children be themselves.