After being called \”untutored\”, my daughter broke down and cried, just because of an unintentional remark!

Yesterday, the club teacher called to inform: In view of the practice time and age, my daughter’s table tennis partner will be Little A. When I heard the news, my daughter burst into tears. I couldn\’t help but think of my daughter who caught a glimpse of Little A and his mother at the door during a community organization practice activity not long ago. She shuddered to avoid the activity and gave up the activity… Various signs told me: Although it has been several months since that incident, its impact is far from gone. What happened was this: One day at the end of last semester, after school, I picked up my daughter to play wildly in the mall, and soon I received an anxious call from her class teacher. The teacher said that Little A\’s parents were very angry and excited because their daughter said to his son \”Come on, Little A, you are my dog\” after class. Little A\’s parents thought that my daughter had seriously insulted him. The son, with his extremely low personality and lack of tutoring, believes that his daughter is not worthy of being the monitor of his class, nor does she deserve the honor of being a \”three good students\” that she just received. The teacher said that she did not believe that my daughter would deliberately insult others, but the parents did not accept such comments. The teacher hoped that I could communicate with the other party and calm the incident. As a parent, but also as an educator, it was immediately clear to me that this was definitely a misunderstanding. To be cautious, I first verified the incident with my daughter. She nodded, immediately acknowledging that she had said such a thing, with ease and complete indifference. It wasn\’t until I told her that Little A\’s parents were very angry because of this sentence and explained the meaning of this sentence to her that she suddenly realized: It turns out that such cute dogs also have negative meanings! The daughter immediately defended: \”Mom, I definitely didn\’t mean to insult Little A. I like him, so I let him play with me. I am Little B\’s cat, and Little A is my dog. That\’s what we all call after class.\” Yes…\” Of course I believe my daughter. This kind of belief is based on more than 7 years of getting along day and night. I know that she is a particularly kind and warm girl. I know that she has loved reading since she was a child, especially animal novels. I know that she has a heartfelt joy for kittens, puppies and all small animals. . Along the way, she was always evaluated as \”sensible and well-behaved\”. Although her qualifications were mediocre, her colleagues liked her and accepted her because of her warmth and considerate nature, and even elected her to be the monitor. However, what I know is not known to the other party’s parents, so their anger is understandable. After I figured out the ins and outs of the matter, I immediately called the other party. What I didn’t expect was that the other party’s emotions were still at the peak of their outburst. They didn’t accept my explanation at all, and they couldn’t understand that “dog” had a beautiful meaning. My parents were unanimous in their opinions and firmly believed that this was a personal insult. ! In the receiver, I became the target of venting my anger and became the representative of irresponsible parents with no tutor. At that time, I considered Little A’s thoughts and thought that maybe he was just talking to his parents about an interesting game but I didn’t expect them to be so emotional. I really wanted to have a chat with him and tried to make some remedies according to the situation. . Unfortunately, such a request was not allowed after I sincerely apologized. What was also rejected was my sincerity to bring my daughter to my home to apologize. Rejection from the other partyI was not angry. I judged at the moment that our two families had very different family cultures and educational philosophies, and it would take time to seek common ground while reserving differences. I even think that there is nothing wrong with this conflict, at least it helps my daughter understand the multiple meanings of words in the context. However, I was careless in this communication and ignored a very important link. There was a reason for the incident and I was extremely anxious, so I spoke to the other party in front of my daughter! This means that the noisy and somewhat crazy curses were transmitted to my eardrums through the microphone, and also to the ears of my daughter who was watching me attentively… The moment I put down the phone, I saw her panicked face with tears. , she must be very panicked and fearful; she must have made a mistake when she heard her mother\’s constant apology. At such a young age, it is impossible for her to understand my desire to reduce the teacher\’s burden; she must also be confused and not understand The nickname in Tongxin\’s heart is actually the evil intention of the adult world; she must be at a loss as to how to face Little A and her parents. She may not be able to think of a better way to face it except avoidance… Facts have proved that, This is still a hurdle that she has never overcome, and it is very likely that the same shadow will exist for Little A. Perhaps the gap will be repaired through their interactions in the future, so I plan to let it take its course. Respect each other. But, in fact, this can be a problem of good communication. If parents can bend down and listen to the inner voice of their children. In fact, children are really very innocent. They like kittens, puppies, and even piglets. All because of their innocent hearts, they don’t even think about or know the negative meanings behind these words. Just like the six children happily chasing piglets on the field ridge in the second season of \”Where Are We Going, Dad\”, they will not think about how dirty the pigs are and how unseemly they are. This is the child. Don’t impose our negative thoughts as adults on children. In the eyes of children, puppies are very cute, piglets are also very cute, and the whole world is so fresh and cute, isn’t it good? Please understand your child’s innocent heart and take care of him!