After divorce, are you still qualified parents?

When I saw this video online, I was absolutely furious. After the incident, people called the police, and the vicious \”uncle\” has now been summoned by the police. The scumbag who abused his nephew will undoubtedly be sentenced to prison. What about the child\’s biological parents? As the first guardian, they allowed the child to suffer such abuse. What kind of punishment will they receive for their failure to fulfill their responsibilities? When an unrelated passerby saw the video, he became so angry that his child was being abused. How does it feel? Go crazy, despair, feel distressed to death, and then, hold the child and cry for a few times to buy him some good food and drink? And after that? Who does the child follow? Will this vicious incident allow the child to live a happy and stable life from now on? Who, the father or the mother, will truly take on the responsibility of raising children? The five-year-old child stood there in rags, looking at the world timidly like a cowardly beast. What a sad scene it was. There are two other children of the same age in the video, who are also dressed in very ordinary clothes. However, because of the soundness and stability of their families, they are worlds apart from this poor child. Does divorce harm children? Meeting responsible parents may not hurt much, but what if the parents cannot bear their responsibilities? Will the defenseless children fall into a bottomless abyss? A scarred child, the physical trauma can be healed later, but what about the mental trauma? Who can predict what kind of fatal impact the long dark night I experienced in my youth will have on my future life! It is self-evident that the child\’s father has failed in his responsibilities. As for the child\’s biological mother, has her mission been completed after giving birth to the child? If you can\’t survive, you can get divorced, but divorce only means that you lose your identity as a wife, and you are still a mother. In the video, the child admitted that his mother did not come to see him on Sunday. When a couple divorces and leaves their children to their uncle, there are ten thousand reasons why. But what about the children? Born into such a broken and incomplete family, can I just be reduced to a weed that fends for itself? ! If you really can\’t make do, divorce is not an option, but how should parents perform their responsibilities after divorce? How many divorcees have truly had empathy for their children? Lao Zhang\’s wife was caught having an affair and got divorced decisively. The ten-year-old girl follows her father. Although the court ruled that his ex-wife has the right to visit the child, Lao Zhang firmly refused: \”What can I do if I let this vixen bring up the child? I won\’t let him see him, and no one will let him see him.\” If his ex-wife does not follow the rules of a woman, she is not a good wife. , but she still loves her daughter. It is entirely his own fault to be divorced because of his own misfortune, but why should the child be blamed, because his biological mother is so carefree that she will have no mother in her life? Lao Zhang kept saying that he loved children, but he never thought that a ten-year-old girl had to endure the pain of being separated from her biological mother when she was young, and the shadow created during her growth would accompany her throughout her life. It is not ruled out that Lao Zhang and other family members have love for their children, but no love can replace a child\’s need for innate maternal love. This is human nature. Aunt Chen is about to turn fifty. Some time ago, her daughter, whom she had lost contact with for many years due to divorce, came to look for her relatives. When Aunt Chen got divorced, her daughter was awarded to her father. Before the remarriage, I could see my daughter occasionally, but after the remarriage, my ex-husband never allowed me to see my daughter again. Aunt Chen went secretlyAt school, my ex-husband got into a fight with the teacher. Later, Aunt Chen gave birth to another child, and she gradually lost her anger. When her daughter got married, she got the news and asked someone to secretly bring some money to the child. The first thing a child does after getting married is to come to his biological mother to recognize him. When they met again after more than ten years, the mother and daughter hugged each other and cried. Everyone who saw the scene had red eyes. Xu Xia caught evidence of her ex-husband\’s cheating when her daughter was two years old. Unable to rub sand out of her eyes, she chose divorce without hesitation. In order to have a daughter, Xu Xia gave up all her property. She vowed to show her ex-husband that she could live a strong life without him. Xu Xia is indeed capable. She started from a fruit stall and developed into a store step by step, becoming a well-known strong woman. This strong woman has a weakness, that is, she cannot let anyone mention her ex-husband. Others are not allowed to have an early husband, and the daughter is not allowed to see her biological father. Not only did she not let her children see their biological father, Xu Xia had been deliberately vilifying her ex-husband in front of her children since she was a child. She wants the daughter she raised by herself to become a comrade in the same trench, and to be her biological father\’s enemy for life. Xu Xia succeeded. Under the instigation of her own mother, the daughter was full of hatred for her father. She hated him for cheating and hurting her mother, hated him for being indifferent to her, and hated him for not being able to give his daughter a complete home like other fathers. The mother and daughter\’s lives of relying on each other have encountered many ups and downs over the years. The child, like Xu Xia, has recorded all the hardships in his father\’s name. When her daughter was twenty years old, her ex-husband was terminally ill and wanted to see the child before he died. Xu Xia did not allow it, and her daughter also refused: \”My father has been dead since the day I was born. I don\’t know this person.\” Xu Xia\’s daughter\’s performance made Xu Xia unhappy. Xia is very proud: \”My years of hard work have finally paid off.\” Her years of hard work have paid off, but the child is not close to her either. Not long after her ex-husband passed away, her daughter got together with a man who was nearly forty years old. Xu Xia went crazy: \”What does that old and poor man have? Why are you obsessed with it?\” The daughter didn\’t listen to her at all: \” I am only interested in older men. Only these men make me feel safe.\” Xu Xia felt that her daughter must be \”sick\”, so in order to \”treat\” her daughter, she secretly ran to a psychiatrist, thinking Ask an expert for advice. After listening to her story, the psychiatrist told her that the child\’s tendency today was all thanks to her – girls who lacked father\’s love since childhood have a very high chance of falling in love with each other when they grow up. \”Your hatred for your ex-husband has cast a fatal shadow on your child. When that enemy is there, you can share the same hatred. If the enemy is gone, the relationship between you will become dire…\” The words of the psychiatrist made people sad. Xu Xia\’s hair stood on end. She suddenly thought of the relationship between her daughter and herself, and suddenly shuddered. It was fine when the child was a child, but after the age of fifteen, her daughter became farther and farther away from her. When it came to this love affair, because of her opposition, her daughter simply assumed that the worst possible outcome would be to stay away from each other forever. Xu Xia secretly felt that her daughter was ruthless and decisive, but she didn\’t expect that this ruthlessness and determination was cultivated by herself! \”You teach her to treat her biological father in this way, and the child will learn from then on.Treat the world this way. \”After hearing what the psychiatrist said, Xu Xia was on the verge of tears and wanted to go back and start over, but time could not go back. Divorce is not a sin. If you push a child off the cliff of life because of a divorce, it is a crime against the child. Similar to The example in the video of leaving children to relatives after divorce is rare in real life. But can you stay away from abuse by following your parents? There was a fellow from Dalizi. His first wife disliked him for being short and poor, so he abandoned his four children. The 6-year-old daughter ran away with someone. After being single for several years, she finally married a shrew who couldn\’t find a successor. After the marriage, the shrew often beat the little girl, which constituted de facto abuse, and everyone in the village looked at her with suspicion. It\’s a pity. Unfortunately, the villagers did not have the awareness to call the police. Every time they saw the little girl being beaten to a bloody head, they could only shake their heads and sigh. It is not that the father was unaware of such severe beatings, but other than trying to protect the child, he did not do anything. Action. In order to have a woman, this man wiped out the conscience of being a father. This is the cruel fact that human nature is distorted and deformed under the oppression of poverty. Such facts are not uncommon in real life. Luo Zi divorced because of her husband They had three children. When the divorce was made, the son was four years old. The ex-husband\’s family was passed down by only one generation, and the ex-in-laws especially cherished this grandson. It was also for this reason that when the divorce was made, the ex-husband\’s family was determined to have a child, but Luo Zi was determined not to allow it. She had long been cruel, Didn’t her ex-husband cheat on her, so she made him and his family live in the pain of being far away from their own flesh and blood for the rest of their lives. After the divorce was decided, in order to prevent her ex-husband’s family from seeing their children, Luo Zi quit her original job and took her son away. I went to a foreign land. The development of the foreign land was not smooth. The children who originally lived a good life could not bear the pain of life. In addition, they missed their doting grandparents and father, so they cried and acted willfully. As for Luo Zi, he was already struggling with life. The child became more and more upset when he cried, and when she heard that he missed his father, he really went crazy. She didn’t want to abuse the child, but in a state of emotional control, she was cruel to the child. No one knew that the poor child was raped How many times did Luo Zi beat her? Later, the attentive kindergarten teacher discovered the problem. After seeing the numerous scars on the child, the teacher thought Luo Zi was the stepmother and immediately called the police. Because of the child abuse, Luo Zi lost custody of the child, and his son Returning to the arms of his father and grandparents, his job is gone, his son is gone, and his home is gone. Luo Zi is crazy. Everyone who knows Luo Zi’s tragedy sighs, but who is to blame? If the child is not regarded as revenge Tool, she will not leave her hometown. If she doesn\’t leave her hometown, how can her life be so difficult that she loses control of her emotions? Luozi used her child as a bargaining chip to destroy her ex-husband. As a result, her ex-husband was injured, her child was injured, and her own life was ruined. A tragedy in which all three parties lose. , what is the root cause? It is not divorce, but Luo Zi chose the wrong way. Divorce is the end of the fate of a couple, not the end of the fate of a parent and the child. If you really love your child, even if there is hatred in your heart, The two people who broke up with Lao Yan should also put aside their personal grudges and choose a way that is only beneficial to the growth of their children. Unfortunately, too many divorced couples consider not what is beneficial to their children, but how to make themselves out of this.One breath. When a marriage comes to an end, there is one less couple and one more pair of enemies in the world. No one wants to show weakness, no one wants to bow down. There is no way to compete with each other, and everyone has their own tricks to compete with each other. There is no way to fall in love and kill each other without the link of a marriage certificate. The children become innocent targets and are used by parents as a weapon to punish the other half. Everyone thinks about their own feelings, and few parents think about the feelings of their children who are used as a tool of punishment. Children from divorced families are pitiful, not because their parents have gone their separate ways, but because of their life after their parents have parted ways. Ma Yashu led her family to participate in the recording of \”Mom is Superman 2\”. Her husband Robert and his daughter from his ex-wife came to China from Germany to visit their father. There is a scene in it that is particularly warm. In the video of his ex-wife and daughter, Robert greeted his ex-wife. The two communicated naturally and casually. They didn\’t look like a divorced couple, but more like old friends for many years. Afterwards, Ma Yashu and Robert\’s ex-wife talked on the phone to discuss their daughter\’s safety, and the atmosphere was harmonious and friendly. Netizens who were watching expressed their emotion: How can there be such a calm exchange between the ex-wife and the current wife in China? The difference is not only civilized. Some netizens immediately objected: \”I have a friend whose parents were divorced. When he got married, the biological mother, stepfather, biological father and stepmother sat together and played mahjong. The stepfather smoked cheap cigarettes, and the biological father also said, you This old lady in my family is so strict with you. My mother said to my stepmother, your gentlemen are so good at boasting, so loud… We who were watching were all dumbfounded at the time. Such a broad-minded person is Divorce will not harm the children. My friend has a good personality and a sunny person. We all like him.\” Some netizens said: \”My sister is also divorced and her children are with her. The reason for the divorce is that her ex-brother-in-law cheated on her. But she got along well with her ex-brother-in-law and his family. Her ex-mother-in-law often called my sister. When my mother was sick, they also came to visit my mother. Now, her ex-brother-in-law is getting married soon, and my nephew and sister said that if my father marries that aunt, He has a new mother… I admire my sister for this. After the divorce, she took care of the children alone without any complaints. She always said that adults can\’t handle things well, so why involve children? When he grows up and matures, he will naturally understand that divorce reflects character. I think this is very correct.\” Don\’t involve and hurt innocent children with things that adults can\’t handle. This is the correct way to open a divorce. . Divorce is caused by incompatibility between husband and wife, not by the fault of the children. Adults cannot give their children a complete home because their relationship is broken, so they should spend the rest of their lives making up for their children with more abundant love than before. Only by giving children more love and care than normal families can children grow up healthily like normal children. This is something that every divorced couple needs to consider and care about more than remarriage, division of property, and who is hurt more. For the sake of the children, all grudges are worth letting go. Remember, it’s not the divorce that hurts the children, it’s the way the children are treated after the divorce that hurts the children.