After I raised my son to death, I realized that children without a \”sense of value\” will never learn self-discipline.

Before my son reached the age of ten, I often heard the envy of others: \”You are so lucky to have an old man to help take care of your child. It saves you a lot of worry!\” Indeed, for a dual-income family, the helping hand of the old man is like a rain of sweet rain. We are so busy that we can take a breather. However, I never foreseed at that time that behind this convenience, there was a price that I had to bear with my children. My parents-in-law, two retired junior high school teachers, took over the baton of educating our children, which gave us great peace of mind. Under their strict discipline, our son achieved outstanding results in the early elementary school and ranked among the best. He seemed to be a flower that bloomed in advance, which gave us great comfort. However, the good times did not last long. After entering the third grade, his son\’s academic performance began to decline quietly, and he gradually fell from the top of the class to the middle and lower reaches of the class. What is even more worrying is his attitude towards studying, which is perfunctory and procrastinating, as if studying has become a heavy burden. Facing my questioning, his eyes were empty and he lacked fighting spirit, as if he had lost the courage to explore difficult problems. The feedback from the school was equally worrying. The teacher told me that my son’s enthusiasm for learning was not as good as before, he was absent-minded in class, and his grades naturally declined. In anger, I severely reprimanded him, but I never expected that these words were like a sharp sword, stabbing my son\’s already fragile self-esteem. With tears in his eyes, he complained about our prejudice and neglect. At that moment, I was shocked to realize that our words and deeds had planted the seeds of inferiority in the children\’s hearts. After a deep conversation, the son confided that it was his parents-in-law\’s \”percussive\” education that caused him to fall into the abyss of self-denial. Those inadvertent belittlings and comparisons were like frost in the cold wind, freezing his confidence and enthusiasm. It suddenly dawned on me that the root of the problem lay in the family\’s education methods, not the children themselves. In order to make up for my mistakes, I embarked on the path of self-learning, eager to help my children rebuild their sense of self-worth through scientific parenting methods. I gradually understood that parents’ language is like a double-edged sword, which can nourish children’s hearts and destroy their self-confidence. Positive encouragement and praise are the sunshine and rain for children\’s growth; while continued belittling and denial will make their spiritual trees wither and wither. During the reflection and study, I adopted the teacher\’s suggestion and decided to use \”white lies\” as a medium to rebuild my son\’s self-confidence. I tried to guide him with positive words, give him unconditional trust and support, and let him feel the warmth and strength from his family. All this stems from the revelation of the \”Rosenthal Effect\” – positive expectations can stimulate children\’s potential and lead them to the road to success. Today, I am accompanying my son on his journey of \”deception\” and love. I know that this is a long and arduous journey, but as long as we go hand in hand and light the way forward with love and wisdom, my son will be able to regain his confidence and enthusiasm and shine with his own brilliance. At the same time, I also hope that more parents can learn from it and accompany their children to grow up in a more scientific and warm way. Praising effort rather than talent is the key to stimulating your child’s inner motivation. Rather than just praising children for their intelligence, we should focus on their unremitting efforts and enterprising spirit. Because overemphasis on talent mayLet children mistakenly believe that success only depends on uncontrollable talent. Once faced with a new field or a more difficult challenge, they may be afraid of insufficient talent, or even choose to avoid it. On the contrary, when children are recognized for their efforts, they will deeply understand that through continuous dedication and persistence, they can continue to break through themselves and achieve achievements. This belief will inspire them to bravely meet every challenge and constantly climb new heights. Specific and detailed praise is a beacon that guides children\’s growth. When giving praise to children, we should try to be meaningful and pay attention to details. The empty \”You are awesome\” is far less powerful than \”This point of view is very original and eye-catching\” or \”Your handwriting is neat and every word reveals your intention.\” Such praise not only makes children feel recognized, but also clarifies the direction of their efforts, helping them to continuously optimize themselves and pursue excellence. Unconditional love is the source of children\’s self-confidence. As fairy tale master Zheng Yuanjie said, the last thing parents should do is to belittle their children. Every child is unique, with their own strengths and weaknesses. As parents, we should face up to and accept this difference, and tolerate and support our children with unconditional love. When children encounter setbacks, instead of being eager to blame them, provide them with encouragement and comfort, so that they can feel the sense of security and warmth from the family. This kind of love will inspire children\’s self-confidence, allowing them to dare to face challenges, explore the unknown, constantly explore their potential, and move in a more positive direction. The wisdom of education lies in \”white lies\”. I personally practiced these educational concepts and methods. In just over two months, my son\’s changes exceeded my expectations. Continuous encouragement and affirmation helped him regain his confidence and get rid of the shadow of low self-esteem. He began to believe that as long as he kept working hard, he would be able to achieve better results. When he excitedly showed me his progress, the joy and satisfaction at that moment made me deeply realize the happiness and pride of being a mother. All this made me deeply realize that parents\’ \”cheating\” is actually a wise education method. It allows us to view children with a more positive attitude, accept their shortcomings with a more tolerant attitude, and support their growth with a firmer belief. Because love is deep and responsibility is deep, we are willing to accompany our children through every moment of growth and witness every transformation and leap they make with the greatest patience and wisdom.