After knowing my son\’s wish, I burst into tears…

After having children, time always flies by. Time slips away quietly every time you wake your children up, every time you cook for them, every time you take your children to study classes. Why do we only start focusing on the things in front of us and the anxiety of the unknown. But we have forgotten why we have children, and have forgotten our original intention of raising children? I still remember buying a lot of educational and parenting books when I was pregnant with my first baby. I told myself that I must be a gentle mother, establish a close relationship with my child, listen carefully to what he says, and must not beat or scold him. But now, not only have I failed to achieve my goal, I have even forgotten the vow I secretly made in my heart. My focus has changed from establishing a close parent-child relationship to: being able to go to school on time, being able to put the children down to sleep before nine o\’clock, being able to complete the daily housework, and being able to prevent several children from quarreling… 2018 On New Year\’s Eve, it was no different from usual. I still managed to finish the day\’s housework while dealing with the various needs and noises of my children. After washing the children and putting them to bed, I wanted to start the \”anxiety + nagging\” mode again, trying to make the children make some changes in the new year by being reasonable. I have thought about it in my mind: I hope my sister can learn to eat by herself next year and won’t need me to feed her; I hope my second brother can learn to organize and keep the pile of transsexual toys by himself, and I don’t want to search the whole house for him anymore. A toy part; I hope my eldest brother can learn to take a bath by himself, which will relieve me of the burden of having to take three baths at night. Suddenly, out of nowhere, I wondered if my child had any New Year\’s resolutions. I asked the two brothers, what is your New Year\’s resolution? As expected, they all rushed to answer: want toys. Let me go one step further and address my mother’s wishes. What do you want your mother to look like in the New Year? The eldest brother immediately replied: \”Mom, I hope you don\’t get angry all the time.\” The eldest brother answered very quietly, as if he was not sure whether I, the mother, would be angry with this answer again. His cautious look showed that I was usually too strict. The three-year-old second brother said happily: \”You are my best and cutest mother! I hope you will always be so good and cute!\” He grinned at me as always, showing two rows of teeth and the black spots on them. Tartar. I used to be very concerned about this dental calculus, and I criticized him many times for brushing his teeth. But this time I suddenly realized that my child had always shown me his most beautiful smile, but why did I only see the slightest flaw like dental calculus? After knowing my son\’s wish, I couldn\’t help crying. We often say that we must \”unconditionally accept\” our children. But most people know its meaning, but few people do it, and so do I. If you think about it carefully, in fact, many parent-child conflicts are related to \”non-acceptance\”. Sometimes, it’s because you don’t accept your child’s current emotions. For example, parents cannot accept their children\’s sad emotions and cannot hear their children cry, so they use various means to try to stop their children from crying. For example, when I am very tired and sleepy, I would like to stop crying immediately, and I will be frightened.Blunt the child, \”Mom will shut you out if you cry again!\” Sometimes, it means not accepting the child\’s current abilities. For example, in order to win at the starting line, I took my children across the city to learn various skills. Whenever a child is sick, we hope that the child will be healthy. But when the child recovers from his illness and becomes active again, our requirements for the child come back one by one: to study well, to have various talents, to be obedient and sensible… When chatting with many mother friends, we will Express each other\’s expectations for the child, and always focus on the child\’s shortcomings. When dealing with children who are sensitive and thoughtful by nature, we hope that they will be more outgoing, as we are afraid that those who are too introverted will not be able to adapt well to society in the future. And what about children who are cheerful and lively and loved by everyone! We complained that they were too active, and we wanted to ask about some sensory integration courses to cure this problem. We use a magnifying glass to look for flaws in our children and criticize each one. But I completely forgot that it might just be a characteristic of a child\’s growth stage, or just a difference between people. We love our children, but sometimes we love in the wrong way. They are always worried about the future, focusing on the small mistakes of the children in front of them, and cannot trust that the children\’s free growth will eventually bear beautiful fruits in life. E. Fromm said in \”The Art of Loving\”, \”If I love another person, I should feel consistent with him and accept him for who he is, rather than asking him to be what I want him to be.\” As far as this standard is concerned, , children know how to love better than us adults. Our children will not ask us to work overtime to make more money, nor will they ask us to be as beautiful as a fairy, nor will they ask us to be able to play the piano, draw, or speak fluently in English. The only thing he asks of us is companionship. And children are natural experts at accepting emotions. When we are happy, they are happier than us. When we are unhappy, they will find ways to make us happy. Whenever I feel down or in a bad mood, my child will always hug me and say, \”Mom, let me give you some love, I hope you can be happy.\” Compared with what I do when my child is in a bad mood. I am really ashamed of some of my impatient ways. Perhaps, the child loves the parents themselves. So no matter how parents live, in the hearts of our children, we will always be their favorite parents. Children are like a mirror, where we see our strengths and weaknesses. Moreover, sometimes we are surprised at how little they have such warm love. There is a question on Zhihu, \”What is the most touching moment in the process of communicating with your children?\” The answer is heartwarming and amazing. Netizen Megan: Sometimes I talk to her in a commanding tone, such as: put on pants, put on socks, hurry up, lie down and sleep. She said: Mom, this is wrong for you. You should say (in a gentle tone): Baby, please put on your pants; come on, tell me again. I put out the fire instantly and said gently: Baby, come and put on your pants. Netizen Xu Xiaofeng: One time when I went out with my daughter, I punished her severely for some reason, but my anger remained.Angry and silent. Suddenly I heard her muttering next to me, no matter whether my mother loves me or not, I will always love my mother. A child\’s love for his parents can be reflected in various details. Although they are small in body, they are born with huge love energy. They are little angels sent by God to teach us how to love. What if my child asks me what I wish for? That is, whenever I want to lose my temper, I hope that I can control my anger by thinking of my elder brother\’s expectations. Whenever I want to nag about my child\’s trivial problems, I think of my second brother\’s acceptance of me, and I have the energy to accept my child. When we were growing up, we may not have learned how to love well. But children come to us with their innocence and purity, giving us the best opportunity to learn from them how to accept, care and love.