After learning to \”quantify anger\”, the child no longer loses his temper! It is strongly recommended that every parent teach this

This year is halfway through. I\’m surprisingly happy with where I\’m at. I\’m referring to my own emotional state. I almost never ran away, and I never lost my temper with my children. I mean the kind that couldn\’t control myself, hurt the baby, and regretted it afterwards. I haven’t lost my temper with my child’s father much. Just in time for summer vacation, I will reveal the secret of not being angry. Because I realized a word called \”quantify your emotions\”. It was originally very complicated, but later I simplified it to \”quantify your anger\”. It sounds quite new at first, but over the past six months I have tried to understand and implement it, and found it to be extremely useful. Wait for me to come one by one! First, let’s explain what “quantifying your anger” means. We all know that there is a solution to every problem, but it is difficult to solve emotions because emotions are invisible, unpredictable, and immeasurable. If there is no reasonable way to deal with it, these emotions will stay on you like parasites, making you more irritable and restless. We all know that \”bearing\” emotions is not enough. Let\’s vent them. In many cases, it is easy to hurt others-husband or children. So, why don’t we do the simplest “replacement”? Quantifying our anger, and then making appropriate compensation and making an exchange is a reasonable way out. In fact, we have been doing this unintentionally. For example, I was very depressed today when I was criticized in public by my boss, so I just asked my best friend to go shopping and have a meal in the evening. For example, I am extremely tired this month, so I can reconcile with \”tiredness\” by paying my salary to go shopping. It’s just that when we get along with others, we rarely quantify or replace them. First let me tell you how I use it myself! Besides, how do I teach my children to use it? In the relationship between husband and wife, old mothers often suffer from psychological imbalance because they contribute more to the family and their husbands contribute less. Therefore, if the other party doesn\’t like it, there will naturally be more complaints and complaints. If you keep complaining, you can know the final result with your toes, and both of you will end up getting more and more angry. He dislikes you for being nagging and unreasonable; you blame him for being selfish and not caring about others. If at this time, we can quantify our anger and find a way to compensate the other person, we can magically obtain a \”psychological balance\”. For example, one night after dinner, I have washed the dishes, and the child\’s father has finished mopping the floor, and then we both have nothing to do. Then I took the two kids to build blocks and play house all night, while he kept leaning on the sofa and scrolling through his mobile phone. For a moment, I felt unbalanced and angry. In the past, I might have been angry at him, but that day I decided to quantify my anger and ask him to make some compensation. Me: \”You come and read to Erbao tonight.\” He: \”Okay, come brother, find some books, and daddy will read to you.\” I was a little satisfied, but I still felt it was not enough. Me: \”The boss\’s English still needs to be recited and checked.\” The child\’s father is also very discerning: \”I\’ll do it, you can take the second child to sleep.\” Well, I am very satisfied. Although he only did two small things throughout the night, which probably only took him half an hour, these were the two things I least wanted to do. He did it, and I instantly felt mentally balanced. I was not angry at all that he had been playing with his phone for 2 hours. Of course, everyone wantsThere are different ways of being compensated. I am very lazy, so my father is very balanced in his actions to compensate me. Everyone is free to express themselves and quantify the imbalance and grievances in their own hearts into the other person\’s feelings elsewhere. For example, hand in your salary card, give out red envelopes, buy a bag, and if one is not enough, buy a gold necklace. Or take the baby out alone for a day on the weekend to create a day of rest for yourself. Let me just say that as long as you give enough of your heart and give it in place, my grievance is not unbearable. For example, my mother-in-law and I occasionally have disagreements because my mother-in-law is not very good at cooking, and she may be older and eats a relatively vegetarian diet. I love eating meat, but I also feel that my children will not be able to survive without it. But my mother-in-law can’t change her cooking habits and I’m very angry. What should I do? It\’s also simple. It quantifies my anger. If I pay more attention to his son, I will gain some benefits, and my heart will be balanced! Me: Mom made too little meat! I can’t get enough and the kids can’t get enough! My husband bought roast duck the next day and smoked pork ribs the day after tomorrow, and suggested going out for a big meal on the weekend. Hey, I’m mentally balanced! Can\’t I, a \”middle-aged, financially independent woman in her 30s\”, buy meat for myself? Of course! But that is different, the dissatisfaction in my heart will not disappear. Because my dissatisfaction essentially comes from my mother-in-law, and the \”benefits\” provided by the child\’s father fill the gap. Many sisters have come to me to complain about the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, saying that they cannot change the old man no matter what. If we can quantify our anger and get a balanced compensation from other places, the problem can also be solved. Then let’s talk about it, how do I teach my children to use it? Case 1: When immersed in emotions that cannot be eliminated, children of Erbao\’s age have emotions that are more inaccurate than the weather forecast. One second the sun was shining brightly, and the next second there was thunder and lightning. The most frightening thing is that children have very little ability to control their emotions. They have countless reasons for crying and making noises. Biscuits are broken, toys are broken, they don’t want their mother to go to work, they don’t want to go to kindergarten, they don’t even want to sleep, etc. You can cry about everything, until you doubt your life, and become emoticon until you are exhausted mentally and physically. For example, at the beginning of this semester, the second child cried because he didn’t want to go to kindergarten. No matter how I tried to persuade or coax him, I would always cry sadly. At this time, you can guide your child to quantify his emotions. 👩🏻‍🦰What’s wrong with you now? (Why I feel unhappy\\angry\\sad\\aggrieved, etc.) 👦🏻I don’t want to go to school or kindergarten. 👩🏻‍🦰Going to school is a must, but you can think about what we can do to make ourselves feel better on the way to school? 👩🏻‍🦰Mom, will it feel better if I give you a gummy to eat? 👦🏻No! 👩🏻‍🦰So, how about picking up an Ultraman to play with on the way? 👦🏻No! 👩🏻‍🦰Can you cheer yourself up by watching two episodes of Cute Chicken Squad on the way? (This process is the process of quantifying and compensating emotions) In the end, Erbao chose to watch two episodes of Cute Chicken Squad on the road. Then, I went to school happily. You may wonder: Will it encourage children to bargain if it looks like a disguised material reward? It\’s actually different. Material rewards are to achieve the parents\’ goals and allow children to compromise by \”taking advantage of others\’ shortcomings\”, but supplementaryCompensating for emotions is not a compromise, it is a choice, a child\’s active choice – which substance/behavior/mode of being comforted can I choose to calm my current emotions. Case 2: When the child is holding on to things that cannot be changed in the past. Last weekend, the child\’s father was going back to his hometown, and Dabao had a trial class. She hesitated for a long time and gave up going back to her hometown and chose a trial class. Finally, her husband took Erbao back. I thought it was an ordinary return to my hometown. Unexpectedly, the two of them climbed mountains, went to the greenhouse to pick strawberries, and fed the lambs. There were so many entertainment projects that Dabao regretted it. In particular, Dabao’s trial class was not very good after listening to it. Once again, when she saw the video of her brother feeding lambs sent by her father, she finally couldn\’t help crying: I want to go too, I would have never gone to this trial class if I had known better! not good at all! It also delayed me from going back to play! Woohoo~ In the past, I would only advise, oh no, no one has front and back eyes. It\’s useless for you to cry now, it won\’t change the reality. You made your own decision not to go back to your hometown with your father. If you choose, you have to bear the consequences. You still have a chance to go next time! Okay, okay, stop crying. Although the truth is correct, it will only make the child more sad and will not help her get out of the emotional whirlpool at all. That day, I chose to \”quantify her emotions\”, and I felt like I was making a huge difference. First question: What\’s wrong with you? 👧I also want to go back to my hometown to play with my brother and the others. They looked like they were having a great time and I regretted it so much. Second question: What are your needs? 👧I want to go too, I want to play those too. The third question: It’s noon now, and it’s definitely too late to go back. Then you can think about it, what can we do to make your psychological imbalance less? 👩🏻‍🦰\”How about we go to the supermarket?\”👧\”That\’s okay, but I still think it\’s better to go back and have fun\”👩🏻‍🦰\”How about we watch a movie again?\”👧\”Okay! It\’s been a long time since the two of us. I’ve watched the movie personally!” In the end, our mother and daughter experienced the long-lost intimate time between mother and daughter. After that, Dabao said that it was a good thing that he didn\’t go back to his hometown with his father, otherwise he wouldn\’t be able to have such fun with his mother alone. The ice cream that fell on the floor, the friends who don\’t play with you, the monitor who wasn\’t elected…there are too many things in life that cannot be changed that are not obtained and have been lost. I understand the rationale, but emotionally I just can\’t get over it. I can’t help but regret my past decisions and regret what happened. If you don’t want your child to be immersed in this kind of emotion, teach her to quantify her sadness, disappointment, and sorrow, and replace it with corresponding compensation. As long as the emotional compensation is in place, there is basically no obstacle that she can’t overcome. Guide her child to quantify her emotions, and he can gain from it. what? I think the most important are these two points: 1. The prerequisite for children to be able to think quantitatively in negative emotions is self-awareness. The process of awareness is the first step in managing emotions. Because in the process of guiding the child to quantify, he is thinking, \”Why do I feel unhappy, angry, sad, wronged, etc.\” \”Is my anger as big as an apple? Or as big as a coconut?\” Matching different levels of anger, Whatever behavior I choose can offset it. As long as the child thinks, he will not just cry and cry blindly.I just keep telling you \”I will, I will, I will\” and \”If I don\’t, I won\’t, I won\’t\”. The same is true for us adults when it comes to quantifying our emotions. Am I annoyed or angry? How annoying is it? This is also a process of self-awareness, thinking, and then quantification and equivalent conversion. With a score of 5 or below, it seems that I can digest it on my own, and maybe it will be better if I divert my attention. If it scores more than 6 points, then it needs to be solved. Is this an inappropriate way to manage emotions? Maybe the child doesn\’t quite understand the real meaning behind each question, but when the child reaches this step invisibly, he has unknowingly become the master of emotions. 2. Let children know that emotions are invisible and intangible emotions that can be solved, and there are solutions. This is definitely a guiding light for young children. Too many children choose to commit suicide and end their lives over trivial matters because they \”feel that there is no solution to their emotions.\” She couldn\’t digest it by herself, and couldn\’t be comforted by outsiders. She came to a dead end and got into a dead end. If someone tells him in advance: It doesn’t matter if he is sad or unhappy. The world is unsatisfactory, nine times out of ten. The important thing is how to make yourself happy again. They may not choose extreme ways, and may even actively choose a positive and reasonable way to deal with it. In the future, when he becomes an adult and encounters setbacks, greater grievances or injustices, he will not hold on to the pain and fall into extreme internal friction and torture himself repeatedly. His focus is no longer on \”Why am I so unlucky/miserable/miserable\”, but on how I can make myself better. This is the true wealth in life that we can give our children.