After \”raising a child to waste\”, I finally realized that a child full of \”negative energy\” will never learn to work hard.

The so-called \”negative energy\” usually refers to a negative, destructive psychological or energy state that will hinder a child\’s growth and development. In psychology and philosophy, it is regarded as a negative force that has not been effectively transformed or utilized, which may stem from the child\’s inner frustration, dissatisfaction or negative attitude towards life. As a mother, I once thought that as long as I gave my child enough pressure and expectations, he would become the academic champion I expected. However, reality taught me a cruel lesson. When I realized my mistake, my son had already fallen into the quagmire of being tired of studying, and his eyes were full of weakness and perfunctory. At that moment, my heart was cut like a knife. First encounter with \”negative energy\”: My son\’s journey of being tired of studying. In his second year of junior high school, my son began his journey of being tired of studying. When he comes home from school every day, he always completes his homework, but the quality is terrible. Mathematics questions include random formulas, reading comprehension answers are ridiculously short, and English words are filled in randomly. I asked him angrily, but he just answered perfunctorily: \”What can I do if I can\’t do it?\” I enrolled him in a cram school, hoping that he could catch up, but he reacted violently and even broke things to vent his anger. I was absolutely furious and there was nothing I could do. Seeing that the high school entrance examination is getting closer and closer, but my son\’s condition is getting worse and worse, I am extremely anxious. It wasn\’t until I started studying child psychology that I realized that \”negative energy\” was at work behind my son\’s dislike of studying. Those excessive attacks and accusations made him fall into a sense of powerlessness and shame from which he could not extricate himself. Looking back with sadness: How I created my son\’s \”negative energy\” Looking back on my son\’s growth process, I realized how I had pushed him step by step to the edge of being tired of studying. When I was in elementary school, I always had high expectations for him and wanted to train him to be a top student like his cousin. Every time he did a simple question wrong or failed in an exam, I would belittle and ridicule him, saying he was \”too stupid\” and \”stupid as hell.\” I thought that such high standards would make him more goal-oriented and more motivated, but I didn\’t expect that these words were like sharp knives, cutting into his self-confidence and self-worth. My eagerness for quick success made me constantly belittle and ridicule him, making him feel powerless and lose control of his studies. The negative energy accumulated bit by bit in this way, and finally made him believe that he could not do anything well, so he began to cope with studying and completely lay down. When I understood all this, I regretted it endlessly. I realized there was something wrong with the way I was taught and that I needed to change. Awakening and Redemption: How to help my son regain his fighting spirit 1. Ignore the bad behavior and get into the child’s heart. I decided to first stop blaming and controlling my son and try to get into his heart. I began to ignore his bad behavior, talk to him nicely, and no longer stand against him. I made breakfast for him, and even if he hadn\’t eaten it by noon, I no longer got angry. Instead, I packed it and put it in the refrigerator, leaving him a note: \”Mom researched a new dish today, how does it taste?\” I would reply in the evening. When I saw him watching TV at home, I no longer asked him if he had finished his homework. Instead, I watched it with him and laughed together. When I did this, the conflict between us disappeared. The son began to soften his attitude, from refusing to communicate at the beginning to simply responding, and then when things happenedShare it with me immediately. Only then did I realize that the child is actually very friendly, as long as I don\’t stand against him. What surprised me even more was that without confrontation, my son’s resistance to learning disappeared a lot. He began to take the initiative to take time to do homework. Although the quality was still worrying, this was undoubtedly a huge breakthrough. 2. Create a relaxed atmosphere and watch with appreciation. After the breakthrough progress in the relationship between the child and his son, I started the second task – to see my son\’s good behavior and convey it to him. I know that people are easily suggestible. If a person is always suggested to be of good character, kind and friendly, he will send out a sense of self-affirmation in such an atmosphere. Therefore, I began to see more of my son’s strengths, and used words, demeanor, and behavior to create positive awareness in him. He allocates 3 hours to do homework every day. Although there are many mistakes and poor writing, he has read every question carefully and he has not done the basic questions wrong. I patted his shoulder and said solemnly: \”Very good! I read every question carefully, and the accuracy rate of basic questions is quite high!\” I also took the opportunity to build up his sense of value. Sometimes when he encountered questions that he was not sure about, he Someone would come to me to ask for confirmation. I was not good at being a teacher, so I took the opportunity to say: \”Mom is a bad student in mathematics. I\’m really not sure about this question. Let\’s search for the answer together.\” In this way, I continued to find my son through learning. The advantages are not conveyed to him in a traceless way. This sense of recognition has greatly increased his son\’s confidence, and he is willing to think hard even if he encounters some difficulties. He has long stopped showing off in his studies. On the contrary, he has begun to think about which school to go to, and occasionally brags to me, \”What do I want to do in the future…\”. Education that conforms to human nature: the most scientific and effective education. Looking back on all the changes in my son in the past two years, I feel like everything is like a dream. I am deeply gratified by my son\’s transformation from a child who was tired of studying and didn\’t seek to make progress to a young man who is full of fighting spirit and full of longing for the future. I also deeply understand that educating children is actually very simple. What we need to do is to work hand in hand with our children to overcome difficulties and let them see their own advantages. Instead of focusing on the child\’s problems and constantly pressuring him to make him lose power. Education that conforms to human nature is the most scientific and effective education! As parents, we should be our children’s guides, not their oppressors. We should guide them with love and understanding so that they can bravely challenge themselves and overcome difficulties when facing difficulties. In this way, our children can grow up healthily and happily and become the people they want to be. Finally, I want to say to all parents: Please put aside your anxieties and expectations, and use a peaceful heart to accompany your children to grow up. Believe me, when you do this, you will find that educating children is not difficult. And your children will bloom with their own brilliance with your company!