After seeing the essential difference between \”students\” and \”scumbags\”, I decided not to force my children to study anymore.

Although the double deduction policy has been implemented, and although many teachers no longer publish the performance rankings of students in their classes, we all know that there must be students in a class with good grades and some with poor grades. But the same class receives teaching from the same teacher and absorbs exactly the same content. Why are the output results different? Many people will naturally give this answer: because family education is different. Family education determines how a child treats learning. How to read the adventure story of the national treasure-level academic master Boxcar Boy in English original version pdf + audio A child\’s learning attitude, status in and out of class, ambition, etc., are all influenced by the family to a large extent. However, we are all first-time parents. Although we know that family education is important, we don’t know where to put our strength. Image source: TV series \”Takagogi\’s Rules\” If you invest your energy in inappropriate places, the more diligently you educate your children, the more likely it will be counterproductive. In fact, wise parents all understand the same truth: awakening children\’s vitality is more important than any form of learning. The Essential Difference between \”Academic Masters\” and \”Stupid Students\” I know a very excellent high school Chinese teacher. He has more than ten years of teaching experience and can be said to have read countless students. Among the students he has taught, some have been admitted to Qingbei and some have been admitted to top foreign universities, but there are also students with mediocre grades who have not been admitted to the ideal university. Usually we will directly call these two types of students \”students\” and \”scumbags\”. But this teacher explained the difference between a top student and a bad student more thoroughly. He also divided students into two types: one is that when you look at him, you feel that his state is not right, he always looks absent-minded and distracted. Such students often have poor academic performance and mediocre performance in other aspects of life. The other is that when you look at him, you feel that his life is like a burning flame, full of vitality. Such students always have bright eyes, can concentrate on doing things, and devote themselves to it. In fact, the difference between the two types of students mentioned by this teacher is the \”alienation\” and \”immersion\” mentioned in the book \”Intrinsic Motivation\”. People who are in a state of \”alienation\” are always particularly passive in doing things. Even if they work hard, they experience more hardship. People in the \”immersion\” state always do things independently. They know what they love, know what they want, and can control their own behavior. So what we have to do is try to make our children become people who are always in a state of \”immersion\”. People who are often \”immersed\” in the \”vicious cycle\” of family education must have internal drive. Many parents today also know that they need to cultivate their children\’s internal drive, but they have a headache and don\’t know what to do specifically. Many experts will say that children should be given full freedom so that they can have autonomy, learn to control their own behavior, and internal drive can slowly develop. This is true, but it is very difficult to put it into practice. Picture source: The movie \”Guaranteed\” Many parents said that once their children are given freedom, they will fight hardYou can\’t control yourself at all when you play. Such freedom is tantamount to indulgence. Therefore, for the sake of their children, parents will always give more discipline. This is how my cousin treats her children. My niece is a smart little girl who learned things very quickly when she was a child. My cousin’s whole family has great expectations for their children. When my niece first entered elementary school, her cousin hired her a one-on-one tutor. However, things went wrong and her niece became more and more difficult to study and her grades plummeted. Finally, after countless lessons and tears to the child, my cousin gave up. She fired the tutor and decided to no longer care about the child\’s study and let her develop freely. However, my niece\’s grades actually improved steadily. Later, my cousin realized that interfering too much with children will form a vicious cycle: HD pdf American Teenager Super Notes Baidu Cloud Complete 7 Volumes [Collection] Parents supervise their children\’s learning, and slowly the children lose interest in learning. Performance decline makes parents more worried about their children, so they increase their efforts to supervise their children. Image source: Movie \”You Are a Good Boy\” If this vicious circle is not seen, the whole family will fall deeper and deeper into it. In fact, every life has a primitive driving force for growth. If parents cannot see their children\’s original motivation, it will be easy to establish absolute authority at home and demand absolute obedience from their children. In this case, the child will devote all his attention to resisting authority. Unfortunately, children’s resistance is often indirect, silent, and self-destructive. Once the pressure from authority dissipates, the tenacity of life itself will develop in the right direction, and the child\’s self-motivation will slowly emerge. Many parents today know that they should cultivate their children\’s self-motivation, but their behavior is very much like my cousin once did, interfering heavily in their children\’s studies. So the contradiction is that – to control may lead to manipulation, and the child will never have internal drive; to ignore it may become indulgence, and the child may be addicted to having fun and not want to learn at all. Image source: TV series \”Takagogi\’s Rules\” In fact, the breakthrough point of this issue is that parents should not only focus on their children\’s behavior, but should do homework on their children\’s consciousness. Because a person\’s consciousness determines his behavior. I especially like a sentence from the fairy tale \”The Little Prince\”: If you want to build a ship, the first thing you have to do is not to urge people to collect wood, nor to be busy assigning work and issuing orders, but to arouse their interest in the vastness. yearning for the sea. Truly wise parents care more about how to awaken their children\’s lives and keep their children\’s lives awakening, so that their children can awaken their passion for learning from within. Awakening life activates children\’s inner motivation. However, consciousness is something invisible and intangible, so we often ignore it. So, how to awaken children’s awareness of life? Psychology believes that everyone is born thinking that they are good, and this power of self-confidence can make us grow into a relatively mature person. This explains why some parents are terrible, but their children can become a good enough person in their own right. However, such children often have to pay a lotcost. 30 interesting calculation lessons for children who will be national treasure-level academic masters in the future [A must-have for 4 to 8 years old] Picture source: The movie \”Zigong Canteen\” As parents, if we can notice this when our children are young, then You can adapt to the child\’s psychology, maintain the child\’s expectations of yourself, and at the same time give the child full trust and support the child to become a better self. In other words, if our expectations for our children coincide with the children\’s expectations for ourselves, then the child will be able to grow up in a smooth environment. I have read a true story: A single father and his 9-year-old daughter Alice made a reading plan. They agreed that the father would read to his daughter every day. As a result, this plan was implemented for 3218 days without interruption. It was not until Alice was admitted to college that the reading plan was terminated. Later, Alice wrote the story of her reading with her father into a book – \”Reading for Love\”. It was her father\’s undivided company and the nourishment of books that made an ordinary little girl fall in love with reading and writing and become her ideal self. In fact, there is no standard answer to how to awaken a child\’s life. Because the answer at the conscious level must be \”Tao\”, not \”Technology\”. But we can use the appropriate tools and think carefully, and we will find the answer that suits us best. The father in \”Reading for Love\” uses books as a carrier, which not only creates a special time between father and daughter, but also opens the heart of the little girl Alice, allowing her soul to continue to explore and grow with books. So this reading history became the little girl’s spiritual growth history. Be a wise parent and accompany your children to grow together. Today, more and more parents have realized the importance of self-motivation and are trying every means to cultivate their children\’s self-motivation. By mastering the following 3 points, you can be a wise parent and raise a self-motivated child. ① Listening, understanding and respecting children A good parent-child relationship is the foundation of everything. For our children, we are the best listeners in the world. Listening and understanding from parents can give children a deep sense of belonging and security. Image source: The movie \”Room\” Only when the relationship between parents and children is harmonious can parents\’ discipline on their children have a positive effect. ② Encourage children to be independent, but also have a bottom line and require that learning is the child’s own business, and the life the child will face in the future is also his own life. Therefore, parents should encourage their children to be independent as much as possible. However, many parents like to \”serve\” their children. Even if their children are in senior grades, they still have to check their children\’s schoolbags every day. Such all-inclusive behavior actually kills the child\’s independence. Let your child make his own decisions so that he can learn to take responsibility for his own actions. Of course, letting children make their own decisions does not mean being indulgent. Wise parents know how to exercise discretion and establish clear boundaries. In such an environment, children will become more mentally stable. Image source: Movie \”Shoplifters\” ③ Growth depends on constantly refreshing cognition. Children with self-motivation often have parents who are also highly self-motivated.A parent who gives up on himself and throws all hope and pressure on his children is cowardly. On the contrary, when an adult can continuously improve himself, continue to learn, and refresh his knowledge, then the children around him will also be influenced. This may be the best family situation. The whole family is growing and enjoying the happiness that growth brings. As a parent, I always feel that no matter how much I give to my children, it is never too much. A 70-lesson video of primary school mathematical thinking training lessons given to children by Tsinghua top academics [Completed] However, giving children gold and silver is not as good as shaping their correct outlook on life. Truly wise parents must give selectively and only give those things that can really help their children grow.