After the baby bear’s toy was damaged, this mother’s rare approach was immediately worth 1 million

Children play together and often compete for toys. For example, classmate Zhe moves very quickly, and I keep a close eye on him. Sometimes he will just ask \”Can I play with this?\” and then go straight to get it. I am afraid that he will conflict with other children, so I usually only take care of my children in the circle of acquaintances. Well, here’s the problem. Every time we get together, there are four or five or even more 3-year-old little friends, and they are all very familiar with each other. Naturally, they fight for toys more unscrupulously, with cries and shouts happening one after another. Where there is contention, there will be destruction. Because parents are familiar with it, if their toy breaks, they usually say it’s fine. Because the value of toys is generally not high, one parent will have to pay for it, and the other parent will be embarrassed to take it. I went to the beach a few days ago and met a family of three who live on the same floor. Both parents have studied abroad, and their 3-year-old daughter Xiaomori is also very polite. After getting familiar with each other, we often take our children to the beach to swim and play in the sand. One morning, we, 10 adults and 5 children, went to the beach to collect shells and dig crabs. While playing, the little boy Tintin suddenly went to grab the Pippi shrimps in Komori\’s bucket. Of course, Komori refused to let him go. Tintin then grabbed Komori\’s bucket with both hands… Tintin\’s mother came up to stop it, but she failed to de-escalate the conflict: the bucket\’s The handle fell off, and the small fish, shrimps, and shells in the bucket were scattered all over the floor. Xiao Sen and Tintin cried at the same time… Xiao Sen\’s mother picked up Xiao Sen to comfort her, and Tintin\’s mother also picked up Tintin and told him that it was wrong to steal other people\’s things. . Xiaomori\’s father picked up the small fish and shrimps scattered on the beach as quickly as possible and released them. After putting the shell back into the keg, he tried to put the handle back on, but the joint was torn and could not be restored. After a few minutes, both children calmed down. Under the guidance of her mother, Ding Ding came over to apologize to Xiao Sen. Xiao Sen\’s mother knelt down and asked Xiao Sen: \”Ding Ding came to apologize, do you want to forgive him?\” Xiao Sen thought for a while and said: \”I want my little bucket, the yellow little bucket.\” Mom said: \”But, it has already It\’s broken.\” Xiaomori\’s eyes were red again: \”Ding Ding will give me a bucket.\” Xiao Sen\’s expression was very clear: I want Ding Ding to give her an identical bucket. Under normal circumstances, most parents will smooth things over and coax their children, either by tricking their children into buying them again or by finding other toys to divert their attention. To our surprise, Xiaomori\’s mother repeated her daughter\’s opinion: \”You want Tintin to buy you an identical keg, right?\” Xiaomori nodded. Mom asked again: \”You will forgive Ding Ding when you buy it, right?\” Xiao Sen replied: \”Yes.\” Xiao Sen\’s mother stood up and said to Ding Ding and Ding Ding\’s mother: \”I bought this keg in a small supermarket the day I first arrived. Yes, let\’s go see if there are any for sale.\” Everyone present felt that Xiaomori\’s mother was making a fuss. As a child, she would stop crying if she was coaxed. The important thing is that a small bucket only costs 10.8 yuan, which is really worth the money. Xiaomori and his mother made such a request, and Tintin\’s mother had no choice but to take Tintin with her to the small supermarket and buy back an identical keg. Next, the children still had fun, but the atmosphere between Komori\’s mother and Tintin\’s mother was a little subtle. To be honest, in order to protect the child\’s little seahorse, he was kissedI don’t regret anything about Qi Lahei, but outside, classmate Zhe’s toys were damaged and they offered to compensate me, but I was too embarrassed to accept it – subconsciously, I felt that forced sharing and unintentional destruction were not the same level of mistakes at all. . When having dinner, we went to the restaurant first. When the Komori family arrived, they walked directly to our table. When they arrived in front of Tintin, Xiaomori held up a big conch and said, \”Dingtin, this is for you.\” Xiaomori\’s mother smiled and said, \”Today you and Xiaomori grabbed something, boldly admitted your mistake, and even gave Xiaomori a new bucket. You are a wise man.\” A responsible man who dares to admit his mistakes. You and Xiaomori will still be good friends from now on, right?\” Tintin happily took the conch. The monetary value of that conch is far more than that of a small bucket. On the way back, Komori\’s mother took the initiative to chat with us about this little incident, saying that when she was in France, French mothers dealt with it in the same way as she did. There are two reasons – first: if children play together and something is damaged, then It cannot be solved by simply apologizing. In the world of children, there is no value, only love or not; compensation can help children who have damaged other people\’s toys learn to take responsibility, and children whose toys have been damaged can learn to express their true thoughts and protect their own rights and interests. Second: After the matter was dealt with, we guided Xiaomori to buy or choose one of his own toys for Tintin. This allowed Xiaomori to learn to forgive and share, and allowed Tintin to taste the encouragement after taking responsibility. In the future, Xiaomori will be more willing to choose to forgive, and Tintin will gradually learn to face his mistakes head-on, and understand that not all sorry can be exchanged for nothing. After hearing this, I fell silent. We always use adult values ​​​​to determine the world of children. If what was damaged that day was not a small bucket, but a ring worth tens of millions, would we still choose \”not to compensate\”? When we choose \”it doesn\’t matter\”, what we convey to the wronged child is \”your emotions are not important, and your things are not important\”. What we convey to the child who unconsciously causes destruction is \”your behavior can be forgiven, and mom can Help you sort everything out.\” As time goes by, the former slowly loses the ability to express his heart, and the latter learns to evade responsibility. Every mother knows how important it is to express yourself and take responsibility. The character building of a child is worth millions. I would like to thank Xiaomori’s mother for giving me a wonderful parenting lesson. Text | Yan Han’s mother