After the child returned to school, his condition recurred, and he wanted to shrink back and not go to school! Parents, don’t panic, here are 6 words to respond

\”After my child returned to school, he began to withdraw and didn\’t want to go to school. He made excuses for me to ask for leave. What should I do? Urgent!\” The child finally returned to school, and the parents just breathed a sigh of relief: the hard days are finally over! As a result, the child began to withdraw and relapse, which made the parents feel like they were on a roller coaster, with ups and downs. I want to tell parents: Don’t panic, this situation is too common. Just like when we return to work after the National Day holiday, will there be a period of time when we are not used to it and we have to slowly adjust to work status? When children return to school, it is equivalent to taking a few months or even half a year off. Once they are used to relaxing, they will inevitably feel uncomfortable when they suddenly return to a tense and high-pressure learning atmosphere. This is completely understandable. So, how should we deal with the situation where our children have repeated symptoms after returning to school? My answer is 6 words: allow various states. Whether the child wants to take a break from studying at night today, or wants to take time off tomorrow to go home and adjust, as long as we parents allow and accept it. To put it bluntly, your child really wants to ask for leave and go home, but if you force him to continue going to school, is it useful? For adolescent children, force will never work. Therefore, it is better to quickly agree to the child\’s request for leave and give him a certain amount of acceptance and freedom. The child will feel understood and allowed, which will help him adjust his state. So, what should be done specifically to help children adjust their status and achieve a sustained return to school? Teach parents three ways to \”allow various situations\”, especially the last point, which must be used: 1. When faced with the problem of children returning to school, we parents make \”worst plans\” and seek \”the best results.\” How to explain this sentence? What this means is that we parents can let go of our own expectations first. The worst that can happen is that our children will be at home again. When the worst outcome is acceptable, any recurring situation in the child will be expected. Just like when I go out on a rainy day, I first prepare myself for the possibility that I will be splashed with muddy water every time I go out. If I am splashed with muddy water, it is as expected; if I am not splashed with muddy water, I am lucky. This is actually to calm down and deal with it calmly by \”preparing for the worst\”. Of course, we can work towards the best results for our children to continue returning to school. Just like you, the parent who is reading this tweet right now, you are constantly learning and growing, and providing better support to your children in order to achieve the \”best results.\” When parents convey an attitude of acceptance and permission to their children, it is very helpful for children to accumulate energy and move on. 2. Accept your child’s emotions unconditionally and give your child full love. Children who have been away from school for a long time will definitely need to re-adapt to this familiar yet unfamiliar campus environment. This adaptation process is even more difficult for children who have been injured in school. Especially in the early days when children have just returned to school, it is very critical. We parents must steadily catch our children\’s emotions. Respond to the child in a timely manner and firmly tell the child: Don\’t worry, don\’t be afraid, mom and dad are always here. When a child expresses the idea of ​​taking a day off and resting for a day, the parents\’ concern and listening attention should be followed promptly: What happened at school? What doesn\’t suit you? Are you willing to talk to your parents? In fact, a series of problems occurred in children after returning to schoolRepeated behaviors are caused by emotions that have not been properly resolved. Therefore, we must accept and value children\’s emotions. For example, our student instructors will continue to accompany and guide the children after they return to school. If the child has not made friends for a while after returning to school, or has not adapted to the pace of learning, the child may be in a very low mood. Our student instructors will care and comfort the child in a timely manner, and provide encouragement and guidance to make the child feel stable. support. Emotions can be understood and confusions can be answered, and children will naturally have more confidence to resume school continuously. 3. Help children set goals that are within reach in one jump, and let the goals drive their growth. There is a proverb that says: \”A ship without a goal, the wind in any direction is a headwind.\” If you want your children to resume school continuously, the most important thing is to set goals. Only when you have a goal can you know which direction to work towards. Of course, don’t set this goal too high, otherwise it will become a pressure, and if you can’t achieve it, you will be frustrated and withdrawn. What we want is a goal that can be reached in a single jump. If the children are motivated and can achieve it, what they gain is a sense of accomplishment and value. In the first semester of returning to school, we should not set any goal for our children to be at the top of the class; just be down-to-earth and ignore the grades for this semester, as long as the children can persist in returning to school. Divide the big goal for this semester into small goals: stick to school for two days this week, and be lazy the rest of the time; stick to three days or four days next week… If there is an extra day of school in any week, then It means exceeding the target and is worthy of encouragement. The same is true for other things. Break big goals into small goals, and break long-term goals into short-term goals. Every progress will be seen, and children will naturally move forward with full motivation. Our student instructors also guide our children in this way, step by step and give ourselves some room to adjust. It\’s human nature. Sometimes our instructors will half-jokingly comfort the children: \”Be tolerant to yourself! Don\’t be so strict.\” What we want is sustained and long-term change. One step at a time, taking your time may actually be faster. As the saying goes: The greatest happiness for a child is to be \”allowed\”. We must allow our children to have various states and believe that they have the ability to get better. This is to firmly convey to him a feeling: no matter what happens, mom and dad will catch you steadily. When children are allowed, seen, and loved, they will naturally feel more confident to overcome their fears and move forward step by step.