After watching Huang Lei’s daughter, I realized what is the most important thing in educating children

Your children are actually not your children. ——Kahlil Gibran Huang Lei’s daughter Duoduo has always been loved by netizens. Recently, Duoduo has become popular again. At a young age, she has made a name for herself in the art field at home and abroad. First, she voiced the role of the \”little girl\” in the French animated film \”The Little Prince\”, and then appeared at the Bonpoint show in Paris last year. (Appearance at the Bonpoint show in Paris) A few days ago, I went on the stage of the Tianjin Grand Theater with my father to participate in a play. (Huang Lei and Duoduo at the Tianjin Grand Theater) Under the age of 12, she is already a leader among her peers. She is not only well-behaved, versatile, speaks fluent English, but also has strong independent ability. Many people say that celebrities\’ daughters have their own halo, but they don\’t know how much thought Huang Lei, as a father, puts into educating his daughter. In Huang Lei\’s educational philosophy, respecting children is the first priority. In \”Where Are We Going, Dad\”, someone gave Duoduo a puppy, and Duoduo couldn\’t put it down. Belle also liked puppies very much, so she asked Huang Lei if he could let her play for a while. Huang Lei did not agree directly, but said to Belle: \”The dog belongs to sister Duoduo. You should ask Duoduo.\” When Belle was playing The dog had been with him for a long time, and Duoduo was worried. When he ran to find his father, Huang Lei said to his daughter: \”You can solve it yourself.\” Two sentences in front of one another showed respect for his daughter: he did not promise Belle to take the puppy without permission. Let her play and retain a lot of decision-making power. And when Duoduo didn\’t want Belle to play with dogs anymore, he didn\’t interfere with Duoduo\’s ideas and allowed her to make her own decision. Huang Lei respects his daughter and allows her to make independent choices according to her own wishes. In addition, Huang Lei also respects her daughter\’s choice of interests and hobbies and some things that she can decide on her own. It is Huang Lei\’s respect that allows Duoduo to grow into the most responsible and responsible child on the show. When talking about respecting children, Huang Lei said: I have never regarded her as a child. She is a thoughtful person. She has her secrets, her thoughts, and her life. She does not belong to me. We are independent individuals. I do not impose my will on her. We get along like friends. I want to teach her that this is right and that is wrong. I don’t like to act like a father. In my opinion, it is better to demonstrate it personally and let her experience it personally. If she doesn\’t do something, she has to bear the consequences of not doing it and be responsible for herself. Krupskaya said: For parents, family education is first and foremost self-education. As for Huang Lei\’s approach of respecting his children, I am afraid that most parents in China do not do it. Every child is a thoughtful person and an independent individual. Learning to respect children is the best education. There is a popular topic on Zhihu: What did your parents do that hurt you the most? Netizen @niurourou talked about his experience. When she was 6 years old, she was very fond of small animals. Once when she went back to her hometown, she saw that her cousin had a lot of rabbits. They were very fluffy and cute. She wanted to own one too. So the cousin picked out the cutest one and gave it to her. After returning home, she took good care of the little rabbit, bathed it, fed it, built it a warm home, and named it Xiaobai. Just as her relationship with Xiaobai became stronger, she couldn\’t help but…When they were separated, the mother sent the rabbit to her aunt\’s house, saying that she would return it in a few days. By the weekend, her aunt still hadn\’t sent it back, so she went to \”pick up\” Xiaobai. However, when she arrived at her aunt\’s house, her mother prevented her from seeing Xiaobai and asked her to take her cousin downstairs to play. She was not in the mood to play. As soon as she came downstairs, she asked her cousin how Xiaobai was doing. Her cousin smiled and said, \”I ate it a long time ago. You didn\’t know!\” She ran upstairs crying and asked her mother hysterically. Why did she do this? My mother smiled and said, \”Your aunt is not in good health, so I gave her a rabbit to replenish her health. It\’s just a rabbit. It\’s not a big deal.\” It turns out that my mother never thought that the rabbit belonged to Hers was given away to be eaten without her permission. The sudden loss of Xiaobai devastated her heart and spirit. Many times, when parents make a decision for their children or take away something from their children, they think it is a normal thing, but in fact, it is a great disrespect for the child and will deeply hurt the child. Liu Yong once said: Parents should care about their children’s souls and be their spiritual partners on the road to growth. However, many parents are \”dictators\” in their children\’s growth. They never respect their children as \”people\”, take away their children\’s things at will, invade their children\’s privacy, and even impose their own will on their children. In \”Metamorphosis\”, Liu Yiming is a rebellious teenager. His father is a doctor and his mother is a middle school teacher. Growing up in such a family, it stands to reason that he should have excellent grades and be well-behaved and sensible. But Liu Yiming was a troubled boy. He didn\’t study hard, fought with classmates, drank with friends, and even ran out of the house after arguing with his parents in the middle of the night. Just when parents were confused as to why their children were like this, Liu Yiming faced an interview and told the reason. It turned out that when Liu Yiming was a child, he was forced by his parents to do things he didn\’t like. He resisted many times but was ignored. After graduating from junior high school, his father wanted him to inherit his father\’s career, but Liu Yiming didn\’t like working as a doctor, and even resented it. His father didn\’t respect his opinion and still forcibly assigned him to a medical school. He protested many times and expressed his wishes and ideals, but his parents had a \”powerful\” attitude and never respected him. Later, Liu Yiming did not go to school and had no job. He drank and played games with his friends all day long and stayed up all night. Liu Yiming\’s parents never understood that adults have thoughts, and children also have their own thoughts, hobbies, and the life they want, but they never took it into consideration. There are many parents who are like Liu Yiming\’s parents: they give away their children\’s things without their consent; they never care about their children\’s self-esteem and invade their privacy at will; they never consider their children\’s interests and hobbies and have full authority to arrange them life. Every child has his own thoughts and values. No matter how good the education method parents give their children, it cannot equal the basic respect they give their children. Gibran said in \”The Prophet\”: Your children are actually not your children. What you can give them is your love, but not your thoughts, because they have their own thoughts. What you can shelter is their bodies, but not their souls, because their souls belong to tomorrow. Children are never dependent on their parents, they have their own thoughts and souls, and have their own rights as a \”person\”. The most important thing parents should do is to respect their children, rather than unscrupulously changing their children\’s ideas or depriving their children of their rights. Treating children as puppets and manipulating them at will will one day cause the child to grow into a person with an unhealthy personality. Liu Yu said in a letter to her daughter: If you want to be a Wall Street banker, go for it, but if you just want to be a baker, that\’s fine. If you want to go into politics, your mother will definitely support you. Jin Yong was respected by his parents and chose the literature he liked. \”The Romance of the Gods\” and \”The Legend of Heroes of Sons and Daughters\” were all read by Jin Yong when he was a child, and he developed a very high literary quality. Liang Qichao\’s nine sons are all talented, and in his eyes, respecting the differences of each child, respecting each child\’s interests and hobbies, and allowing them to develop is the wisest choice. Growth is a beautiful thing. Only children who are respected by their parents know how to live independently, how to persist in their ideals, and how to choose the life they want.