All naughty children are the result of their parents\’ habituation.

On weekends, my neighbor\’s family came to my house for dinner with their children. The little guy is very good-looking, just like the boy dolls with pink makeup and jade in New Year paintings. His eyes are bright and bright, and he is full of intelligence. He is really cute. But it didn’t take long for my impression of him to completely change. When this child arrived at someone else\’s house, he showed no signs of life at all. He soon started running around all over the floor, rolling around, and jumping up and down. After the little feet were dusted, he jumped on the coffee table and started jumping, kicking sugar and melon seeds everywhere. But his grandma was smiling, and while watching, she praised her grandson for being lively and cute. When eating, he grabbed everything with his hands, and his movements were so violent that he knocked over the plate. There was a basin of tomato and egg soup on the table, and he actually put his hand directly into it, stirred it, and dipped it in. I said a few words to him, and he finally got better. Unexpectedly, after a while, he pressed his two little hands, which were stained with braised sauce, oil, water and vegetable soup, on the white wall, and made two big handprints. Then he turned around and smiled at me smugly. . My eyes were widened, but the child’s grandmother smiled and said: Look, my baby is very good at playing. The child\’s mother praised him for being smart and creative, and for learning to paint with his fingers. I sat next to him, looking embarrassed the whole time. Later, I told another neighbor about this matter. The neighbor looked like he was deeply affected by it and said, \”Don\’t mention it. They have always been like this with their children. They are so spoiled.\” When they went to my house that time, the little boy didn\’t like me and urinated on the fabric sofa. I complained to his grandma, but she pointed to the stain and said, \”This is good stuff. Do you know how valuable baby urine is?\” I\’m so angry. Do you dare to soil my sofa, or do you want me to be blessed? After hearing this, I couldn’t laugh or cry. When parents love their children, they always feel that they are full of good things, their indulgences are lively, their rudeness is bold, and they are full of good qualities. However, Gorky once said: Even a hen can love his children. The important thing is to educate them. It is reasonable to love children, but when raising children, you need correct parenting concepts. The child is still young and cannot control his own behavior well, so parents need to set standards and norms for him. If a child is naughty and mischievous, but the parent still praises and spoils him, the child will be pampered and become a naughty child, doing whatever he wants and being lawless. If parents know how to stop it in time and let their children stop, then the child\’s behavior will be corrected and their habits will be improved. Bad kids are born from parents, but good kids are also born from parents. A netizen once posted on a forum that she was a standard naughty kid when she was young. Because her parents had been married for many years before they had a child like her, so they wanted to hold her in their mouths and hold her in their hands. Gradually, she became particularly unruly. Once, she saw a sister holding mahua in her hand. She was greedy and reached out to grab it. Because he couldn\’t grab it, he scratched the person\’s face hard, leaving ten deep red grooves and blood stains. The parents saw it and did not stop her. Instead, they were very happy and said: My daughter is really amazing. She will definitely not be bullied in the future! The family’s actions further aggravated the child’s anger.flame. Soon, she began to become even more willful, not only hitting people at will, but also swearing at them, using all kinds of curse words without any restraint. Later, when the neighbors saw her, they quickly took their children away and refused to let them play with her. Without a playmate, she began to enjoy herself and play house with herself. One day, she saw an old hen walking by the roadside with a group of chicks. She grabbed a chick, cut its belly open with a piece of glass, took out the internal organs, and laid them all over the floor. Then I proudly showed off to my mother that this was the meal she cooked. The mother was shocked when she saw the dead chicken. She felt that this child could really be cruel, so she was dumbfounded. The mother suddenly understood that if she continued to pamper her daughter, it would be harmful to her but not beneficial. On the one hand, because she is too naughty, other children will alienate her, which makes her unable to communicate enough in childhood, unable to integrate into the group, and unable to experience the warmth of friendship. On the other hand, a child does not realize that what she is doing is wrong. If you do not tell her, she will never be able to argue between right and wrong, and will not be able to form a correct view of right and wrong. As the saying goes, don\’t do evil for small things. Stealing needles when you were young will steal gold when you grow up; you dare to attack innocent chicks when you are young, but you don\’t know how dangerous it is when you grow up. From then on, her family\’s education methods began to change. Once, her mother was working the night shift and deliberately took her with her and put her in the work dormitory. She stayed alone in the dormitory for a long time, curled up on the bedside, afraid of the silence and loneliness around her. At this time, her mother came back, cooked some noodles for her to warm her belly, and then asked her: Are you afraid of being alone? She said: So scared. Her mother told her that when children are young, they cannot leave their parents\’ company, otherwise they will be very painful. Because she had just experienced loneliness, her mother\’s words always spoke to her heart. Then, her mother took advantage of the situation and told her that small animals are also lives. They are also children and have their own parents. They should be happy and stay with their parents. At this time, she suddenly remembered the chicken she killed. Comparing her feelings, she understood that when she took the chick away, it must have been very scared without its mother. But if she killed the chick, it would never see its mother again. How uncomfortable it was. From then on, she gradually began to learn to respect and revere life. Before that, she felt that she was a princess, a treasure, with the power of life and death over everything in the world. Therefore, in order to be happy for herself, she can turn a blind eye to the pain of others. However, when her mother taught her the truth, she would not make such a mistake again. From here to that, from yourself to others. Under her mother\’s continued guidance, she learned by analogy, and not only began to be kind to the weaker creatures, but also began to be friendly to the children around her. By the time I entered elementary school, the annoying kid was no longer there. She turned into a cute little loli, a cute kid on campus, very polite to others, and loved by her teachers and classmates. When children are young, they are quite malleable. They are as soft and changeable as plasticine. If you can seize this period and transform them well, you can lay a good starting point for your future life. Because children are full of energy, they can sometimes be a little naughty. almost every parent, more or less, have seen some naughty performances. But as long as they are cultivated properly, these behaviors can be prevented from being internalized into habits, solidified into characteristics, and preventing them from becoming real \”naughty kids\”. We might as well pay attention to the following aspects: 1. Cultivate empathy. A student of the great educator Confucius once asked him: \”If you could practice one Dharma throughout your life, what would it be?\” Confucius replied: \”Don\’t do to others what you don\’t want others to do to you. “If children have empathy and can see things from someone else’s perspective, they won’t make people feel sad or inconvenienced. Empathy is a proper term in the theory of emotional intelligence, which refers to correctly understanding the emotions and feelings of others, and then achieving mutual understanding and care for each other. Whether a child\’s empathy is sharp or slow is highly related to the parenting methods of his parents. In the story just now, when the family started to be indulgent and let things go, the child had no idea of ​​thinking about others. But when parents intervene correctly, children\’s behavior patterns will change. In order to cultivate children\’s empathy, we can do the following: 1. Role-playing If a child bullies a child, you can let him use role-playing to restore the scene at that time, let him put himself in the situation of being bullied, and let him put himself in the situation of being bullied. The bully will have a sad state of mind, so that he can understand the impact of his behavior on others, develop keen empathy, and understand the boundaries of behavior. 2. Lead by example. Children will observe the behavior patterns of adults and then imitate them. If adults consider others and are respectful and courteous to others, children will follow suit. The ancients said: \”If a person is upright, he will not do what he is told. If his body is not upright, he will not obey even though he is told.\” Doing well yourself is better than boring preaching and harsh instructions. Children\’s behavior is a copy of their parents. 3. Seek internal reasons for aggressive behavior. Sometimes, children make a fuss not because they are bad in nature, but because they are eager for attention. Then, don\’t neglect your company to make up for the missing warmth. Also tell him that when he needs attention, he can communicate directly with his parents and not make a scene and inconvenience those around him. Sometimes children beat and scold children not because they are vicious, but because they think they are excellent, and they deliberately show their strength to gain psychological balance. In this case, it is necessary to let him understand that there are thousands of people in this world, and everyone has their own unique advantages. If you think others are excellent, learn from each other and catch up with them. Only by understanding the inner motivations of children\’s superficial behaviors can we treat the symptoms and root causes. 2. Bear the consequences for your own actions. When a child makes a mistake, parents must be able to attribute it correctly. Scenes like this can often be seen in life: a child breaks a bowl, but the parents say, \”It\’s all because of the bad bowl.\”; a child kicks over a stool, but the parents say, \”The stool is broken and blocked our child\’s way.\” If things go on like this, the children will Thinking that you can do no wrong, you become blind, arrogant, self-centered, and act like a \”bad boy\”. We want our children to know that no one can make mistakes, but if they do something wrong, they have to bear the consequences. If you break a bowl, you need to clean it. If you knock over furniture, you need to tidy it up. However, there is a difference between suffering consequences and accepting punishment. For example, some children play gamesI don\’t want to eat when I\’m playing. Then, if there is no food after the meal time, he will have to bear the consequences. And to throw the meal into the trash can in anger and scold him is to make him suffer the punishment. Bearing consequences allows him to naturally correct his behavior; punishing him emotionally can easily backfire. Some time ago, I saw a piece of news: There is a third-grade child named Xiaohao in Pukou District, Nanjing. He is very naughty and often beats his classmates to bloody heads. No children want to be in the same class with him. When he did something wrong, instead of guiding and admonishing him, his father strangled Xiao Hao\’s neck so hard in front of other parents and children that his son almost died. It is conceivable that the child received corporal punishment in public and was humiliated. In anger, he did not restrain himself but became more unscrupulous. There is a limit to everything, too much is never enough. Punishment often does not make a naughty child get better, but arouses rebellion in his heart. When a child does something wrong, look at it squarely without showing favoritism, let him bear the cost of his mistake, and just change his behavior. Never become a tiger mother or a wolf father and educate him with sticks, because things must be reversed when they go to the extreme. 3. Avoid giving children bad psychological hints. The so-called psychological hints mean that a person is affected by the judgment and attitude of others and responds subjectively accordingly. Children\’s psychology has not yet matured, they are fragile and sensitive, and they are easily affected by suggestions. Positive psychological hints can bring positive emotions and positive experiences to children; while negative psychological hints can easily cause children to deny themselves and form incorrect self-perception and self-evaluation. If a child is mischievous and makes trouble, his family will label him: \”You are so annoying!\” \”You kid, why are you so annoying!\” Then, over time, the child will keep hinting to himself, \”So I am an annoying troublemaker.\” Damn it.\” Then he will break the pot and let his temper go. In this way, the occasional naughtiness becomes a long-term characteristic and affects his future behavior patterns, thus truly becoming the legendary \”naughty kid\”. French historian Migne once said: What kind of person is considered to be, what kind of person will soon become. As a parent, you should give your child good psychological hints. When he is occasionally willful, you should help him correct himself and do good. We often say: \”Small trees need to be chopped down, and children need to be cared for.\” Yes, a child\’s heart is like a young and immature tree. If you just pamper him and spoil him, it will be like fertilizing and watering the tree. , at this time, the branches of the tree will grow wildly and stretch out randomly. Only by spraying it with pesticides to catch insects and pruning it appropriately can it be full of vitality and have lush leaves and branches. Naughty kids are all spoiled. As parents, as the people who have the most profound influence on our children, we really need to be cautious in our words and deeds, neither doting nor pampering. .