An 8-year-old child’s printed words became popular: Behind the most self-disciplined children stand the most heartless parents

You can never imagine how powerful a self-disciplined child can be. However, children\’s self-discipline is not born, but needs to be cultivated. In this process, parents’ guidance and strict requirements are very important for children. Not long ago, an 8-year-old girl became famous on the Internet for her handwriting of printed fonts. Netizens shouted: She is so happy that she has obsessive-compulsive disorder. In the video, the girl\’s small hand is holding a pen and carefully completing her homework stroke by stroke. The written Chinese characters are strong, soft and powerful, as if they are really printed. Even the numbers and pictures in the math homework are neat and pleasing to the eye. The mother said: \”My daughter is actually an ordinary child. She is just strict with herself and has strong self-discipline.\” In addition to attending calligraphy classes, the child also participated in many interest classes. The course schedule from Monday to Sunday was almost full. Yes, but children can do it very well. Many netizens left sour comments after reading it: It is indeed someone else\’s child. U.S. President Theodore Roosevelt once said: \”There is a quality that can make a person stand out among the mediocre people who do nothing. This quality is not talent, education, or IQ, but self-discipline.\” Sometimes, our Perhaps the only difference between children and \”other people\’s children\” is \”self-discipline.\” Children\’s self-discipline is not innate. Children who need the guidance of their parents to be self-disciplined are often excellent. If you observe carefully, you will find that the children around you who have good academic performance and great potential have very good self-discipline abilities. This ability will benefit children throughout their lives. Parents often complain: \”Children have to be watched over by adults when doing homework. They play on the computer all day long and have to be rushed to sleep, eat and go to school. In short, they have no patience for big and small things. The various interest classes they enroll in are all three days.\” After two days of drying the net, he loves to be lazy and procrastinates. There is really nothing you can do about him.\” Maybe you will also have this question: Why are some children able to achieve self-discipline, while others need the guidance of their parents to do so? Woolen cloth? Indeed, not every child can be as self-disciplined as the little girl above. Children are playful by nature, and often the plans they make cannot be completed with quality and quantity. Many parents, for unknown reasons, label their children \”love\” when they get angry. \”Lazy\” label. In fact, it may not be that the child himself does not know how to be anxious or the importance of this matter, but it may just be that the child\’s self-control and self-discipline are not enough, and good execution habits have not been developed. Children\’s self-discipline is not born, but needs to be cultivated. Behind every procrastinating and undisciplined child, there must be a reason that needs to be seen. If parents see it, the problem will be solved. In this process, parental guidance is very important for children. So how can parents help their children develop good habits of self-discipline? Children hate being assigned tasks rudely and become resistant: CCTV host Dong Qing has always given people a calm and calm impression. In theory, she should be a typical \”other people\’s child\”, but she has also been quite \”unself-disciplined\”. . She said that her father was a very strict person. When she was young, no matter whether it was winter or summer, it was always God\’s return.When it didn\’t work, let her run 1,000 meters at the middle school near her home. Dong Qing felt that running alone on the track looked very silly, so she would often play clever tricks. After going downstairs, she would find a doorway to hide in. Guessing that the time was almost up, she would pretend to be out of breath and run home, deceiving her father and saying: \”I\’m exhausted, but I\’m done!\” Many times we make plans and assign tasks to our children, all for the benefit of the children. But if you don\’t pay attention to the methods and methods, and make the children feel that they are being threatened, forced, and controlled to do these things, the children are likely to use the solution: educating children, the most taboo is simple and crude. You must not let your child feel that all the \”rules\” at home are \”set\” for him alone. Therefore, when making plans, you can communicate more with your children, give them more choices, sense of participation and sense of ritual, and guide them to get started. When formulating rules, you should try your best to take care of your children\’s emotions and feelings. Children are more likely to listen to people who like them and respect them. Fully communicating with children is the best way to resolve children\’s resistance. Children lack confidence in success, are afraid of failure, and are fearful of difficulties! This is relatively complicated. In some cases, the goal is too broad, such as learning English well, listening to classes well, etc., and the children don\’t know how to implement it. Another situation is that children are unwilling to leave their inner comfort zone and are afraid of new environments and changes. Gu Cheng has a poem called \”Avoidance\”, which explains this logic very well: \”You said you don\’t like to plant flowers because you are afraid of seeing the flowers wither. So in order to avoid the end of everything, you rejected all the beginnings.\” Children will worry about doing it themselves Even if they do it, they can\’t do it well. In order to avoid the final failure, the children choose to escape. In this way, even if you really fail, there is still a psychological comfort: \”I am quite smart, but I didn\’t do it well. If I do it well, I will definitely be able to…\” Solution: The development of any kind of habit, in the first period of time They are all the most difficult. We cannot rely solely on the children\’s self-discipline, but must also cooperate with the help of their parents. An 8-year-old boy grew up abroad, and later returned to China with his mother to receive a second-grade education. The little boy studied the front and back of the Chinese language test paper for an hour and a half and only filled in one blank. The child was very depressed. In order to help the child, the mother thought of a way. She broke down her goals into small plans, took her time, and clearly listed how many Chinese characters she needed to learn every day, how many pinyin words she wanted to memorize, and how many times she read the text. Therefore, it is more feasible to proceed step by step and slightly lower the requirements for children. The key is to take the first step. At this stage, as long as the child takes the first step and makes progress and changes, it is a good phenomenon. When a child completes a big goal, parents can first break it into small plans and complete them one by one. Later, the child said to his mother with great confidence: \”It won\’t take long before I can catch up!\” Sure enough, he not only caught up, but also surpassed everyone. At the end of the first semester, the boy ranked last in the class. two. Mom celebrated with him, and he was not the last one! At the end of the second semester, the boy took the examHe ranked first in the class and scored 99 points in the Chinese test. Children\’s attention is distracted and they don\’t have a strong sense of time! One of the elements of self-discipline is concentration. If a child does not know how to manage time, he will easily be attracted by various things, and in the end, he will not do what he should do. My colleague Sister Zhang’s child took advantage of the summer vacation to relax completely. Bedtime is often morning and evening. I just wanted to play with my mobile phone, but it was dark; I just wanted to watch TV, but I couldn\’t control it… As a result, I was asking for trouble. School was about to start, and the children could only cry. Yelling and frantically doing homework. It is really difficult for a child who has no sense of time to develop the habit of self-discipline. Solution: A study in the United States shows that children\’s time management ability directly affects academic performance and efficiency. Children\’s ability to manage time is actually self-discipline. In a vlog titled \”A Day of Super Self-Discipline for a Harvard Student\”, we can see that the top student has arranged his daily time in advance and recorded it in a notebook, making it clear at a glance. Started at 7:45 in the morning, wash up, have breakfast; go to the hospital for examination and class in the morning; meet up with friends for lunch at noon, read a book for a while; interact with professors and complete homework in the afternoon… He did everything in an orderly manner, And proudly call it a successful day. Time is always fair. How we choose to spend our time is how time chooses to shape us. Parents can arrange time plans with their children. There is no need to micromanage everything at the beginning. Let the children develop the habit of controlling time first. Then you can fill in the content by yourself according to the child\’s situation, let the child write it down clearly in black and white, and supervise the completion by himself every day. Children are afraid of having more demands and troubles after success. A child once secretly told me that he was actually dawdling on purpose. I asked him why, and he replied: \”If I finish this, my mother will arrange for me to do other things. It\’s better to just leave it like this. At worst, she will nag me a few words.\” Yes, sometimes I do it as a child. After finishing math, we hope that the child can read some English. When the child finishes reading English, we hope that he can practice calligraphy. When the child gets tenth in the exam, we hope that he will be in the top five. If he is in the top five, we may I also hope that he will be in the top three… This is also a lot of pressure. When a child feels that he cannot meet the constant requirements, his self-control will become worse and he will start to cope with the problem. Solution: If something lasts for a long time, both adults and children will feel tired. And it is reasonable for children to become less demanding on themselves and lose self-discipline under the pressure of their parents to do this and that. To solve this problem, you can consider adjusting your original plan. For example, if your child no longer wants to keep a diary, you can write reading notes or even try writing poetry; if your child feels that reading is boring, you can consider changing to several more types of books. Popular science books, novels, and story books can all be used as reading materials. You don’t have to read one genre. Making plans more interesting, rather than stressful, can motivate children well. In addition, parents can alsoSome reward and punishment models help children have an auxiliary \”heteronomy\” in addition to self-discipline. From helping children stick to a plan to helping children develop a habit, it all requires parents’ “cruelty” and determination accumulated over time. If we want our children to have freedom, we must let them have self-discipline. If we want our children to have self-discipline, we must grasp more from life. Helping children learn self-discipline is like opening a window to their world. Self-discipline will be internalized as a part of the child\’s body and become the motivation for his efforts. With this kind of power, children will spontaneously and proactively overcome difficulties and accept failure calmly. Self-discipline is the greatest wealth in a child\’s life. The new semester has begun, and all good habits need to be developed. I hope we can become our children\’s spiritual leaders.