Another child committed suicide because of these 5 words from his parents! Don\’t say it again

Do you still remember that some time ago, a Sichuan boy committed suicide after taking the college entrance examination? He even wrote in his suicide note: Either burn my body or throw it away. Don’t take me home! Why do you have so much hatred for your parents that you don’t want to go home after you die? Rui\’s mother carefully studied Xiaosi\’s suicide note and found that although Xiaosi repeatedly emphasized that his emotional intelligence was low, it was his parents\’ emotional intelligence that was really worrying! I finally got 73rd place in the school, but my mother said, \”I\’m only 73rd.\” Even if he gets 98 points in the test, he will be scolded by his parents… The beating and suppression from his parents have become a common occurrence for him. Xiaosi, who has lived in this depressive environment for a long time, cannot feel the love of his parents at all, and feels that life is meaningless and it would be better to die happily. In fact, we can really understand Xiaosi\’s feelings, because some verbal violence from parents is really harmful to children. I have a friend who suffered from autism when he was a child. He said that whenever he couldn\’t do something well, his parents would blame him for a whole year. If he had conflicts with other children, regardless of the reason, it must be his fault, and they would blame him for a whole year. A whole year…so my friend became very unsure and unwilling to communicate with the outside world. Fortunately, his parents later realized the seriousness of the problem and took their friend to see a doctor, whereupon his autism was cured. Parents, please use your emotional intelligence before speaking about the following five sentences. If you can\’t say it to outsiders, how can you bear to say it to your children? ! When did I promise you? Many times, in order to save trouble, parents casually promise their children when they cry: As long as you don\’t cry, I will take you shopping tomorrow! As long as you get a certain score in the next exam, I will buy you whatever… As a result, when the child really does it and goes back to ask for a promise from his parents, the parents often look like they have lost their memory and say: \”I When did you promise me?\” Finally, although in most cases they will buy it for their children, usually the parents will not admit that they have said this because of the persistence of their children. You know, if you don’t remember what you promised your child, the child won’t tell you the truth. Parents always forget what they promised in front of their children, and what they lose is their integrity and prestige as parents. After a few times, children no longer believe their parents\’ words, and even imitate their own example and become full of lies. I suggest that parents should either stop boasting in the first place and choose a reward they can afford; or they should try their best to fulfill their promise to their children. What\’s the use of raising you? Some parents have bad tempers and often lose their temper over trivial things. For example, if a child drops his chopsticks while eating, he will scold him: \”You can\’t even hold a chopstick, what else can you do!\” The child is walking. If you accidentally fall down, you will scold again: \”You can fall down even if you walk, why do you want to eat!\” If you accidentally lose money, the scolding will be even worse: \”What is the use of raising you? I might as well raise a dog.\” !\”What? Saying that your children are not as good as dogs? That\’s too much. In fact, as long as you can calm down, you will figure it out. Didn\’t the child just drop a chopstick and lose some money? words? Although the children are small, they still haveSelf-esteem, it\’s normal to make mistakes. Don\’t hold your children to adult standards. What\’s more, adults can\’t avoid making mistakes. If you keep doing this, your parents won\’t want you anymore. Many parents, when they are \”forced\” by their children, will use this \”killer\” trick: \”If you keep doing this, your parents won\’t want you.\” Sometimes when walking on the road, if a child loses his temper, the parents will just say something like, \”If you don\’t leave, I will leave you alone.\” Then, watching the child follow me obediently with his head drooped, he feels a little secret in his heart. Cool. Why do children obediently stick to such words as soon as they are uttered? Because a child loves his parents, and his parents are his world! When his parents say they don\’t want him, it\’s like the whole world doesn\’t want him. How can he still live? Parents often say this kind of thing to their children, which will greatly affect the establishment of a child\’s sense of security. Children may always be afraid of being abandoned and live cautiously. I suppress my nature and try my best to follow my parents\’ wishes in everything, for fear that one day my parents will not want me. When the children grow up, they will obey their friends\’ orders in life, and respond to their colleagues\’ requests at work. They will live a completely pleasing personality without considering their own feelings at all. When you fall in love, you will feel very insecure and always worry that your partner will leave you. If you live in fear all day long, what kind of happiness is there? I told you a long time ago, but you refused to listen. \”I told you a long time ago, wear more clothes, wear more clothes, but you didn\’t listen. Look, you got a cold. You deserve it!\” \”I told you a long time ago, Don\’t touch cats and dogs. If you don\’t listen, look, you\’ll get bitten. You deserve it!\” What parents mean by saying this is nothing more than saying: Look, I\’m still right, so you have to listen in the future. my words. Parents must love and care about their children, but when parents say this, the children must be experiencing setbacks and need the support and love of their parents. However, instead of expressing concern, parents say such cold \”afterthoughts\”, which is tantamount to adding insult to injury, and will only make the child more miserable. I suggest parents that the next time they encounter this kind of situation, they might as well express their concern for their children first, and then remind their children to pay attention next time. It is best not to act as an afterthought. We are all doing this for your own good. \”If you don\’t study hard, you won\’t be able to do anything in the future. I\’m doing this all for your own good!\” \”You have to sign up for a piano class or a painting class. You\’ll need it in the future. We won\’t harm you!\” \”There are so many words like this. Parents always seem to have endless things to worry about. When their children are young, they are not allowed to touch this or that; when they are older, they are not allowed to fall in love early and must concentrate on studying; when their children become adults, they are worried that they will not be admitted to a good university, and they are also afraid of being admitted to a good university. If you don’t have a good major, you will be afraid of not getting a good job if you get admitted to a good major, and if you have a good job, you will be afraid of not having a good son-in-law or daughter-in-law. When faced with these important matters, children can already distinguish right from wrong, at least they have their own opinions and ideas, and what their parents say does not seem so right. Parents also seem to feel that their children are beginning to become less obedient. When the majestic or inducing methods begin to fail, they begin to \”do it all for your own good.\” In fact, my parents have been saying \”They are just planning their children\’s lives without authorization. This is not to criticize parents for saying these things, but think about it, who has never been young? Who was not ambitious to conquer the world when they were young? What have you done? Do children have to follow their parents’ opinions here? Maybe some parents will say, we all grew up listening to our parents at that time, how can there be children who disobey their parents?! So what? The consequences of being obedient? It doesn\’t make you live a good life. Leave the children\’s affairs to them, and parents should not be too \”for your own good.\” There will always be a \”generation gap\” between the children\’s outlook on life, worldview, and values ​​and those of their parents. \”It is a fantasy to want children to have the same ideas and practices as their parents. This is due to different growth environments. Besides, some children have a fierce temper and will fight to the death if their parents interfere; some The children are silent, gnashing their teeth, tears flowing into their stomachs, and hating their parents all their lives. Some children are not only not sad, but also grateful to their parents (for such \”obedient\” children, I don\’t know whether it is good or bad). However, parents can guarantee , is what you give your child what he wants? Will what you give ensure that the child can live a happy life? Not necessarily! I hope that we can all grow into children who love their children unconditionally, praise them frequently, and give them a sufficient sense of security. Good parents! The first step is to talk to your children well!