Another child was scolded and jumped off the building. The parents regretted saying these 3 words to their child.

Last week Minyi’s mother saw a piece of news. A 7-year-old boy broke the window screen at home. Fearing that his mother would scold him, he begged the bus driver to sleep on the bus for a night. When I told my friends in the office about this, everyone thought the little boy was a bit cute. However, in the surveillance video provided by the bus, we can see that the boy got on the bus around 8:30 pm, and It was already 9 o\’clock when the driver found the child. A 7-year-old boy with no ability to protect himself had not returned home late at night. We had no way of predicting what would happen. We can only imagine how worried the child\’s family would be. . And the reason this happened was just because the child was afraid of being scolded. On November 10, a 16-year-old girl was scolded by her father for choosing her favorite products in front of the computer, so she climbed to the rooftop of the 10th floor and attempted to commit suicide by jumping off the building. Some netizens said that the minds of children nowadays are too fragile. They can\’t stand being scolded by their parents and even want to commit suicide. But we bystanders never know which words the children were scolded by their parents in the news. We also don’t know what the children had endured before these few words. How unpleasant the scoldings from parents were? It hurts the child\’s self-esteem. There used to be a foreign father who was very angry when he saw his son addicted to games every day and doing nothing. So he put a pistol in front of his son, deliberately loaded it, and yelled at his son: \”If you have the guts, don\’t do it.\” Live!\” Unexpectedly, his son actually chose to shoot himself the moment he turned around. After my father saw this scene, he rolled on the floor in regret, but what was the use? It cannot be exchanged for a living son. Parents love their children and have profound plans for them. Criticizing children is also to help them correct their mistakes and avoid detours in the future. Just like this father, his original intention was that his children would not continue to do nothing like this in the future, but he ended up killing his children. In fact, there is nothing wrong with criticizing children. What is wrong is that parents should not say these three types of words, which will not only hurt the children, but also fail to solve the problem. How hurtful can parent criticism be? I met a mother and daughter in a fast food restaurant before. The little girl had two little braids and was eating ice cream. Because the little girl ate slowly, the ice cream quickly melted everywhere. Her mother wiped the child from time to time at first, but then directly scolded the child from her position: \”Look at you, you are doing this just after putting on these clothes.\” She’s so dirty, she eats like a starved ghost, and she’s so dirty that she looks like a garbage collector!” The little girl burst into tears at that time, and the more she cried, the sadder she became, and the mother became more and more upset. The angrier he got, the more he scolded the child several times… At that time, I took my two children with me and sat very close to the mother and daughter. If there were other places in the fast food restaurant, I would definitely take Minbao and Yibao with me. Change seats. Children\’s ability to feel is actually very sensitive. Even if this mother is not angry at Minbao and Yibao, they will still become trembling when eating ice cream. It seems that if a drop of ice cream drops, I will become like that mother. He was a demon and yelled at them. Many parents are like this mother when they criticize their children, making a series of accusationsThe language of blame has become an outlet for emotional catharsis and has become unrestrained. Many hurtful words can be blurted out. Whether at home or in public, the child\’s self-esteem never seems to be considered by the parents. As long as the child commits a crime When a mistake is made, parents immediately begin to criticize. When Song Dandan took his son Batu to \”Longing for Life\”, while eating breakfast cooked by others, Song Dandan said: \”I gave birth to a waste and can\’t do anything. Look at this person.\” For Song Dandan, it may just be a complaint about his son. For onlookers, it may be just a joke made by Song Dandan to create the atmosphere of the show. But what about Batu? In a very topical and popular program, a 28-year-old man was described by his mother as a \”waste\” when his mother said this. Where should he put his self-esteem and mood? \”Verbal abuse\” can be regarded as a kind of invisible mental violence in relationships. It is not only harmful words, but also sharp tones that can destroy a person\’s will. For many children, when they grow up, they can no longer remember what their parents scolded them when they made mistakes, but they can still remember their father\’s angry shouting and their mother\’s sharp voice. Every child was criticized by their parents when they were young, and I was no exception. I can no longer remember the mistakes I made when I was young, but I still remember my father’s scoldings. But my father’s original intention of scolding me was not to use verbal violence against me, but to hope that I could correct the mistakes I had made. Many parents will unconsciously fall into the following three misunderstandings when criticizing their children, which will hurt their children’s young minds. 1. Easily define children Minbao once accidentally broke a vase at home, but told Minyi’s father that it was her younger sister who broke it. When I went home that day, I heard Minyi\’s father, who was always very patient with his children, yelling angrily at his son: \”You know how to blame your sister at a young age. You might become a fraudster when you grow up!\” This is a sentence that many parents will say when criticizing their children, even if it is not this sentence. The child made a mistake, but in most cases this mistake is not serious enough to define the child\’s life. Just like when Minbao lied, I told him: \”It\’s wrong to lie, and it\’s even more wrong to blame the matter on my sister. You have to take responsibility for your own mistakes.\” Parents should also realize when criticizing their children that we criticize The goal is for the child to correct his or her wrong behavior, so you might as well use objective language to tell the child where he or she went wrong. Unpleasant criticism is sometimes not as good as nice truth, and a pleasant appearance can also help the child realize his or her own mistakes. 2. Repeatedly criticizing children for their mistakes has a psychological effect called the over-limit effect, which refers to a psychological phenomenon in which stimulation is too much, too strong, or lasts too long, causing extreme impatience or rebelliousness. Mark Twain once went to listen to a pastor\’s speech. At first, he felt that the pastor\’s speech was very good, so he decided to donate money. However, after a while, the pastor had not finished speaking, which made him feel very irritated, so he changed his mind. I only plan to donate some change, but the time for the pastor’s speech is getting longer and longerAs time passed, he became more and more impatient, and finally decided not to donate money. The same is true when we criticize our children. If the children make mistakes, just say whatever they want. Don’t reprimand them endlessly. Don’t confuse the mistakes that bothered the children before with the mistakes they make now. Just like we are also afraid of being nagged by our parents. Similarly, when the time we scold a child is extended to a certain extent, the child\’s self-reflection will be replaced by \”Why hasn\’t my dad/mom finished scolding me yet?\” He forgets to reflect on his own mistakes and just wants to deal with it quickly. Pure. 3. Criticizing children in public. When I was in junior high school, a boy in the next class got into a fight and his parents were invited. The boy’s father came and kicked the boy as soon as he came up. Then he kicked him all the way from the third floor where we had class to the first floor. , almost everyone in the school quietly leaned at the window to watch the fun, but no one took this matter seriously, except for the boy. Within a few days, the boy and his mother came to apply for suspension of school. Children\’s self-esteem needs to be protected by parents. Parents always think that children are still young and have no face, but children of all ages have self-esteem. Just like this boy, for him, his father\’s behavior hurt his self-esteem, and this feeling of shame even made him not want to continue studying in this school. No child can avoid making mistakes. Everyone is like this. They have to learn and grow from the mistakes they make. In this case, why can\’t we be more patient when facing children\’s mistakes and guide them?