Are good children destined to be bullied? It’s time to tell your kids to “fight”

I am going to send my son to kindergarten this year. My wife said that what worries her the most is whether he will be bullied, and she is afraid that someone will hit him and he will not be able to protect himself. This is a worry that many mothers have about their children entering school. Nowadays, school violence is getting worse and worse, which makes parents worried. What kind of child bullies, and what kind of child is bullied? I said not to worry too much, because my son\’s physical fitness is enough to handle children of his size. But the problem is that he is relatively well-behaved, the kind of good boy we often call him. What should you do if you encounter an unruly child and attack him? Every time I take him to play outside in the playground, I will tell him: \”Don\’t hit other children.\” \”What about someone hitting me?\” \”Pay attention to defense, protect yourself, and remember the defensive skills I taught you.\” \”Remember!\” Fortunately, I often \”fight\” with him at home, so I feel more at ease. Play more rough-and-tumble games with your children. Children will gain confidence and strength while playing rough and tumble. I have always advocated parents to fight more with their children. Especially boys prefer some of these confrontation games. Of course, the best person to fight with is his father. When children are young, children play just to prove their strength and sometimes just to have fun. Sometimes it is to connect with parents, because such communication is stimulating and interesting. Children and parents gain an intimate connection through this special interaction. Because both sides will put all their attention on this fight. Children love these exciting moments of attention. And during confrontation, children can better understand what the rules are? For example, many parents usually tell their children, \”You can\’t fight. Children who fight are bad children.\” As a result, obedient and well-behaved children will abide by the rule of not fighting. Often when I was bullied to the point of being bullied, I would just tolerate it and cry silently without saying a word. But the rules for slapstick are not like this, because slapstick can help children understand: I can fight back. The rules of playing rough and tumble will stipulate that you cannot hit, kick, bite, choke, or slap in the face, head, or stomach. And if you abide by these rules, you can fight back and use your own strength to protect yourself. There is another benefit that most of us don\’t think of. Children can control and adjust their own behavior through playing. For example, such rough and tumble training is very useful for children who are impulsive and aggressive. Because in rough and tumble, parents can effectively teach their children some rules of rough and tumble. Only with this kind of experience, when they have some conflicts with their friends, they will know what to do and how much strength to use. Banning and beating and scolding sometimes do not help. After a while, they smashed their fists into their friends\’ faces. Teaching them to control their behavior is the way out. I remember one time my son was playing with a child. The kid kicked me hard in the stomach for grabbing a toy. This child is a very excitable child and has difficulty controlling his behavior. The little boy\’s grandmother happened to be there that day, and his grandmother scolded the child a few words, and then asked the child to apologize. The child ran away, and I didn\’t say much. The second time the little boy was playing at our house, he did it againHit someone. That day I called him over and asked him if he had beaten his brother. He just stood there and said nothing. I said, \”Actually, my uncle used to hit people when he was a kid, but I don\’t hit people in the stomach or on the head. You can\’t hit them in these places. It\’s too dangerous.\” How should I hit them? For example, you can spank your hands and butt, but there are certain places that you absolutely cannot spank. You have to learn to control your fists. The children all listened very carefully that day. Parents should never try to replace their children when it comes to playing. Because you help your child \”win\” against his or her partner, or you scold the other parent\’s parent. Neither can make children truly strong. The only thing that can really help a child is his own strength. Children with inner self-confidence will dare to say no and resist. Parents should accept and encourage their children and cultivate their inner strength. In addition, physical fitness must be strengthened. Because children with good physical fitness or who have been trained in rough and tumble, they can handle it well enough when faced with partners who are looking for trouble. I often create opportunities for my son to improve his physical fitness. Mountain climbing and running are very good exercise opportunities. Take your children to run outside more often. Children will pursue speed and strength. At home, fathers and children can play confrontational fighting games. We will find that confident children will always pursue higher goals. Parents must confirm their children\’s achievements. For example, playing fighting games with children can show weakness and cultivate children\’s confidence in using their own strength to defeat the opponent. When children have new goals, actively encourage them to challenge them. Letting children fall in love with a sport is as important as learning. Because good physical fitness will bring courage and confidence to children. Tell your children: The world is a mess, and we cannot expect everyone to treat us kindly. But we must have enough courage and strength to face the good and evil of this world.