Yesterday I went to a relative\’s house, a cousin. Their family once had a family feud because their first child was a girl. After they were allowed to have a second child two years ago, they quickly got pregnant and gave birth to a boy. They thought they had a good luck and their life would be happy. Unexpectedly, everyone was complaining about the misery. Families that favor sons over daughters always feel that having a son will make them happy, but is this really the case? I posted a post on WeChat Moments with emotion, and there were many comments, wondering why I couldn’t live well even though I got my wish. Let’s talk about this carefully. Those who favor sons over daughters are the grandparents. Because they gave birth to a girl, they found reasons to return to their hometown after the confinement period. They were unwilling to take care of the children and were indifferent to the children. They did not buy anything for the children, let alone inquire about the children. Not only that, she would call her every three days to urge her cousin to have a second child. But in those years when the second-child policy was not allowed, in a second-tier city like Zhengzhou, it was very difficult to have another child. What\’s more, it was even more difficult since both husband and wife were in public office. So, because of these things, I have been very unhappy. But fortunately, the girl was brought up by her grandma and grandpa. The cousins do not favor boys over girls, and they still take good care of them. The girl always smiles with crooked eyebrows. She is also good at studies. She has played piano since she was a child and has a good temperament. Every time I see him, he is generous and generous. After the second child was released, the old man pressed harder, and the cousin and his wife also thought about it, and successfully gave birth to the second child. It was a boy, and they got a good name as they wished. I thought everyone was satisfied, but the reality was not as expected. The grandparents wanted to hold their grandson and took the initiative to take care of the child, but the grandma and grandpa left because their little daughter had given birth and needed their help. My cousin and his wife are not particularly well-off financially. Now that they have two children, their expenses are even greater. Both of them have to go to work. It is relatively the most feasible way to raise their children and receive help from the elderly. So everyone discussed it, and the family, which had been quarreling because of different ideas, now lived together like this. But my grandparents are getting older, they are over 60 this year, and raising children is a very hard job. And because everyone has different parenting concepts and different living habits, there are frequent quarrels. My grandparents felt that they had worked very hard and were not doing well, and my cousin felt aggrieved and could not communicate. To exaggerate, my cousin has not had a meal at home for more than a month. My cousin-in-law is not a particularly wise man. He often doesn\’t know how to reconcile family conflicts, so he can only avoid them. The most fatal thing happened to the two children. Whether it is the younger brother who is admired by the stars or the younger sister who is looked down upon, they are the most direct victims. Let’s talk about my younger brother first. He is more than one year old and three months old. Because his grandparents always hold him, he cannot crawl or walk. Then I was too afraid of being cold and being covered too much. I always had a fever and caught a cold, so I had to go to the hospital from time to time. Not to mention their living habits, they refuse to eat even if they are chased after them. What makes me feel most distressed is my sister, who is almost ten years old this year. She was already uncomfortable after her patriarchal grandparents suddenly intervened in her life. And her grandparents also complained that she didn\’t kiss them and always scolded her for being ignorant. Besides being busy taking care of my younger brother after work, my parents don’t have as much time as before to spend all their time with them.Be with her. As a result, the child who used to always smile disappeared. The cold child who used to be affectionate and affectionate with his parents is now sarcastic and sarcastic towards his cousin and his wife. I am not even close to my grandparents, and I am not even close to my younger brother. Why does the family live like this? I think there are many reasons. Preferring sons over daughters is an inherent concept, and the resentment caused will be highlighted in every detail of life, and family conflicts can break out at any time. This is one of them. Two children bring far more expenses to the family than one child, and parents do not have enough financial ability to bear these costs. This is the second one. Because the eldest son was ignored due to the arrival of the second child, the eldest son did not receive enough comfort and attention. This is the third one. There are many other trivial reasons, so everyone is unhappy. So, although I had children and a life as I wished, I was not happy because of it. The sad thing is that things like this are not rare. Many people are in a state of confusion because of this, and they don’t know what they are trying to do. A friend said it well, because of the family conflicts caused by the preference for sons over daughters, how can it be possible to be happy because of the birth of a boy? Happiness has never necessarily been related to having a boy or girl. There are people around me who still have a harmonious family after giving birth to a girl, and there are also people who are having a rough time because of the birth of a boy. It has nothing to do with male or female, it just has to do with mentality. If I have a second child, I would also prefer to have a boy, but not because I prefer boys over girls. First, Liuliu shouted every day that she wanted a younger brother, and I also wanted her to have one more sibling to accompany each other, to trust her wholeheartedly, and to stay together through thick and thin. The second reason is that I also want to experience a different state of raising a boy. Although I have my preference, I prefer to just let nature take its course. Everything is the best arrangement when it comes to having a boy or a girl. Because I know very well that if a child comes with prejudice, he is destined to not be happy. As many friends have said, this family is destined to not live well even if their first child is a boy. Because there is prejudice, there will be doting, and the family conflicts caused by doting will only get worse. The preference for boys over girls is only superficial. The deeper level is the inconsistency of values. Disrespect for women and excessive attention to boys will make people feel chilling and even resentful in many small things in life. What happiness is, everyone will have their own answer. However, at least I know that it is doomed to be unfortunate if the root of happiness in life is tied to the gender of a child. If you truly love your children as independent individuals and have enough energy and finances to raise children, you will be happy no matter if you have one or how many.
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