Are you also a mother who has been kidnapped by parenting scriptures?

When I had some free time, I scrolled through Moments, and the most popular ones were parenting experiences from various perspectives. Breastfeeding strengthens the body and must be continued until the age of two; do not yell at the child; good habits should start from newborns; the best education is companionship; high-quality companionship cultivates children with high emotional intelligence… Frankly speaking, the first half of being a mother In 2016, I really strictly followed the standards in the book to raise Qianqian. I even bought a few books for this purpose. The one that impressed me most was the \”Parenting Bible\”, which I was really willing to spend every penny. The book tells how much milk a baby should drink at a few months old, because breastfeeding cannot be measured. In order to get this number of milliliters, I always sucked out the milk first and then fed it to the baby. Several times, I couldn’t catch up with the baby to eat and the baby cried. Also cried. At that time, I seemed to have obsessive-compulsive disorder. If one item was different from what was stated in the book, I would immediately become very anxious. The book says that the baby\’s sleep time should be sixteen hours a day, so I would count it minute by minute. If I didn\’t have enough time, I would worry about affecting the child\’s development. If I had too much time, I would worry about whether the child was feeling uncomfortable. The book said to turn three times and sit six times, so I counted the days day by day. If the baby still couldn\’t do it after the time, I would worry about whether there was something wrong with the child\’s slow growth and development. This is not a path to motherhood, it is clearly a path leading directly to mental illness. Last weekend, X took his son to the beach for a wave. Unfortunately, it rained and there was a sea breeze. His son unexpectedly caught a cold and had a fever before returning to the hotel. When I called her at night and asked about it, X said leisurely that she had just taken medicine and had fallen asleep. In my impression, taking care of a child with a fever should be a mess: the child grunts uneasily, the adults wipe her body in a panic, and keep taking her temperature repeatedly. After all, every parenting book tells us that \”the child will have to wait until the child has a fever.\” Medicine can only be used after thirty-eight degrees five.” After all, she was out with her child. She asked worriedly, how high is the fever? Not very high, thirty-seven degrees eight. I became anxious as soon as I heard this and kept scolding her. But X looked confident. She said that the experts said that you should wait until 38 degrees 5 before taking medicine, but the experts also said that the medicine should be decided according to the child\’s mental state. Although my son\’s fever was not high, his mental state was not good and he could not sleep well. Of course, I need to give my child medicine. You see, not only does he sleep soundly now, but his body temperature is also normal. He will feel better after a good rest. This way I can also have a good rest, and only if I have a good rest can I take better care of him, right? In fact, don\’t follow the book to raise your children. On the premise of respecting scientific parenting, the best state is when your children and you are comfortable. It was only after I persisted in book-style parenting for almost half a year that I finally understood this truth when I was depressed and collapsed. Who doesn’t have to be a mess when raising a baby, trying to cross the river by feeling the stones, and who doesn’t learn while raising a baby? It\’s just that other people\’s lawns are greener, and the sea on the horizon is bluer. What you can see about others is just their bright side. Who will let you know about the bloody and chicken feathers behind them? What kind of picture book is this?Reading is an inactive companion. The mother\’s mood determines the child\’s life. In fact, you really don\’t need to pay too much attention to it. In real life, every mother is a living ordinary person who will make mistakes, be tired, be weak, and have various difficulties and last resorts. She will always have enough milk, her mood will always be beautiful, she will always speak appropriately, she can spend all day with her baby and make crazy money, and she will raise her baby to be fat and cute, never angry, crying, shy, naughty or making trouble. . . . . . I can tell you responsibly that such a mother does not exist at all, and it is already very difficult to do even one of these things. And every child is not a copy. The methods in those parenting scriptures are just a general model. If parents don’t think about it with their own ideas and just copy it, it’s really better not to read these parenting scriptures. And when I gave up calculating the amount of milk and sleep time, and treated the child\’s problems with a very casual attitude, the kind of life where I was relaxed and my child was relaxed was really beautiful. So, strong mothers, don’t let yourself be anxious and panicked by those rules and regulations. There really is no one who understands your child better than you.