Are you still saying these 9 sentences to your children? The damage caused is irreparable

As the saying goes: \”A kind word can warm a child for three winters, but a bad word can hurt someone for six months.\” A word of encouragement can make a child more confident; but a harsh scolding can greatly damage a child\’s dignity! I believe everyone didn’t like to hear the following 9 sentences when they were young, but today there are always parents who still say them to their children, but do you know how deeply hurt they are? We can\’t do it anymore, kid, it\’s up to you! When I was a child, I loved singing and dancing. Unfortunately, my family did not agree, so I had to give up studying art, which I was very unwilling to do. Ever since I had a child, my inner desire has been revived. Starting from kindergarten, I have enrolled my children in various interest classes, such as piano, dance, and performance… We must cultivate their children\’s artistic talents in an all-round way! The child sometimes says he is too tired to study, but the opportunity is so good that he cannot give up halfway! If you don’t learn now, it will be too late when you grow up! Xinma’s comment: In fact, what is the difference between what you do and what your parents did back then? If your child\’s dream is consistent with yours, then this kind of hope is great, but if your child has a dream that is different from yours, why do you still hold on to your \”dream\”? A child is not the continuation of his parents\’ life. His future must be carried out on his own. Otherwise, if your regrets are made up for by your children, who should compensate for his regrets? Look at who and who… Why are you so useless? A relative\’s child is only two months older than my baby. She is beautiful and has good academic performance. Every time I see her, I like her from the bottom of my heart. Looking at my naughty child again, I am not angry at all: \”You know how to play every day, and your academic performance is a mess. Look at your cousin, if you are half as good as her, we don\’t have to worry!\” Xin\’s mother commented We can always see the advantages of other children at a glance, but turn a blind eye to the strengths of our own children; we always spare no effort to praise the excellence of other children, but we are stingy with a sincere praise for our own children. You might as well ask yourself: If someone tells you all day long, look at this person, they have a better job than you and make more money than you, will you be happy after hearing it? Children need praise. Discover more of their strengths and praise them more, and they will become better and better! You are so old, you have to take care of your younger brothers and sisters! Having two children at home is very exciting, but it is also very troublesome. Sometimes it can be described as \”embarrassing\” when you are busy with the older one and the younger one. Xiaobao is already very busy with eating, drinking, sleeping, and eating, and Dabao is just in his first rebellious stage. He is always quarreling and grabbing things with Xiaobao all day long, and an unknown fire suddenly bursts out in his heart: \”You You are so old, why don’t you give in to your younger brother/sister?” Xin’s mother commented that when her parents said “the older one should let the younger one go”, perhaps her original intention was to allow the two children to get along better and build a better relationship. They have a close relationship and hope that as the eldest child, they can protect their younger siblings. But this kind of unconditional and unilateral request is like a curse that tightly binds Dabao. It is unfair to Dabao and not conducive to Xiaobao\’s growth. Throw it out of your parenting manual now! There is no reason, I just say no! My child clamored for chocolate before going to bed, and I told him a lot of truths, ranging from getting fat to getting cavities, and grinding my teeth a lot.He still didn\’t listen for a long time. It suddenly became popular: \”No snacks are allowed before going to bed. If I say no, it won\’t be allowed!\” Xin\’s mother commented, \”If I say no, it won\’t be allowed!\” This is a sentence that children cannot argue with. When their children make some unreasonable demands, many parents will flatly refuse and then severely criticize their children. Not only does this have no effect, but it will only destroy the normal and natural communication between parents and children and worsen the parent-child relationship. Don\’t underestimate your children\’s ability to understand. Treat them as equals as adults. Educate and persuade your children gently but firmly, and do not allow them to do things that are not allowed. Only then will children voluntarily give up unreasonable demands and accept their parents\’ opinions. If you don\’t obey again, I won\’t let you go! A naughty child is like an untamable little animal. Sometimes when he sees a toy he likes in the supermarket, he insists on buying it. If he doesn’t buy it, he will cry and roll on the floor. Sometimes he forgets the time while playing with the children and is unwilling to go home. Eating and sleeping… Sometimes he makes too much noise and can\’t control it for a while, so he blurts out: \”If you don\’t obey again, I won\’t let you go!\” Convenient, because the words \”I don\’t want you\” can take effect immediately, making children obey, saving time on education and saving money; but for children, this sentence is actually quite cruel. He will think that the most trustworthy people no longer want him, and there is no one to protect him. This is very harmful to the young mind. Compared with the shadow left on the children, the temporary convenience is undoubtedly a loss-making transaction. So for the sake of their children, parents should leave their full patience to him! This thing is too expensive, we can\’t afford it! When visiting shopping malls, children always linger in front of the expensive toy counters, and even ask to buy one to take home. After looking at the price, which was staggering, I casually said to my children: \”This thing is too expensive, we can\’t afford it!\” \”It\’s not easy for parents to make money. Besides, we already have so many toys at home, so we can\’t waste money casually!\” \”Xinma\’s comment: Maybe you really think toys are expensive, or maybe you want to cultivate the good habit of thrift in your children. But no matter what the starting point is, if you cry about poverty when you are not completely destitute, and spend money on your children while repeatedly emphasizing how hard-earned money is, how you should cherish things and not waste them, etc., what your children will gain from this is a sense of lack and guilt. The relationship with money is heavy and difficult. Parents may wish to make a monthly spending plan (even a rough one), which can help their children understand the difference between wishes and actual situations more clearly, which is more convincing than using \”can\’t afford it\” as a pretext. Cry, cry, cry, just know how to cry! \”Cry, cry, cry, you know how to cry, what\’s the point of crying!\” \”A man can\’t cry, he\’s like a female doll.\” \”You\’re still crying at such an old age, don\’t be ashamed!\” \”If you cry again, mom will I don’t love you anymore!” “If you stop crying, I will buy it for you…” Xinma’s comment: In the eyes of some parents, crying is like a sin, so they do everything possible to prevent their children from crying. The child stops crying, and the parents are clean, but it brings a lot of harm to the child. The child will become scared and timid, and will not know how to deal with setbacks, which will also make the child\’s negative emotions have nowhere to go. Catharsis, parent-child relationshipThe system will also be hindered. In this case, why not be more patient and deal with the \”crying\” issue with your child? Wouldn\’t it be nice to give your child some time to calm down and vent, so that he can learn what emotional management is and follow his growth and learning rules? What\’s the point of raising you? \”It\’s hard for your parents to do it for you. They get up early to go to work every day, and they have to go home to cook after work, so you must study hard and listen to your parents…\” \”I worked hard to earn money for you to eat and go to school. , you are still so disobedient, what is the use of raising you?\” Xin\’s mother commented that parents\’ love for their children is originally selfless, and as much love as there is, there will be as much ardent hope. So some parents turn their efforts and sacrifices into weights to require their children to be obedient, sensible, studious and motivated. This kind of conditional love not only fails to teach children gratitude, repayment, and self-discipline, but also causes tremendous psychological pressure in children. Hope and love are two different things. Parents must not confuse the two, let alone use this as a condition for exchanging love with their children! Stop educating your children about hard work, but share with them the joy of working and making money. Instead of nagging your children to cherish spending money, tell them that you deserve a rich and beautiful material life. Stop talking about how hard it is to raise a family, and instead talk about your pride and satisfaction in working for this family. Why are you so stupid? Teach a child to do arithmetic problems, but he still can’t do it after being taught over and over again; show the child how to play a game, and after playing for ten minutes, he still can’t play. Do you want to scold: \”Why are you so stupid!\” Sometimes, you will be humble in front of others: \”My child is not good, he is very stupid.\” Xin\’s mother commented that the child is \”stupid\”, which is a mantra of some parents, saying It even started with love. But it is a kind of psychological violence for children. What the children receive is the message \”I can\’t do it, I am stupid\”. The child\’s self-confidence is destroyed. If things go on like this, the child may really become \”stupid\”. Smart parents should say more encouraging words to their children to mobilize their children\’s enthusiasm. For example, \”Although your grades are not ideal, I think you tried your best\”, \”You can learn better\”, \”Mom and dad are proud of your progress\”…