Like many mothers, I also have a group of mothers with babies of the same age. There are more than ten mothers who have been communicating with each other since I was pregnant. Although I have never met in person, my relationship is very good, and I can be regarded as best friends that transcend physical distance. The only time there was some unpleasantness was because of an argument about whether the baby should be encouraged to crawl more or practice walking earlier. Mothers are roughly divided into two groups. One group believes that crawling more has various benefits for the baby\’s physical development and brain development. Climb as long as you can, try to suppress the tendency to walk, and guide crawling as much as possible. Another school of thought is that a baby learning to walk is a milestone event, marking the baby\’s level of movement. Since mothers hope that the baby will turn over early and be able to sit and crawl early, it is of course a good thing to learn to walk early! Both sides stated their own opinions. Although they were polite but tit-for-tat, no one could convince the other. After browsing the screen for an hour or so, I was tired of typing. They gave up on various excuses and there was no argument in the end. Get a result. Later, everyone had a tacit understanding to avoid such topics, and it was quite fun to chat with the baby. After opening this official account, I also encountered many similar questions, about whether the baby should be held upright, whether he should sit on his back, and whether he should be supported to practice walking early. Families are usually divided into two groups: radical and conservative, with varying degrees of dissatisfaction. There was a big fight, and then one of the parties came to me to judge the case, hoping to get theoretical support from me. Seeing this kind of question always reminds me of an ancient European custom: if two men fall in love with a girl at the same time, the two men will have a fair duel. Of course, the one who fights to the death will have nothing to say, and the one who fights to the death will marry the girl. of. I heard that the great poet Pushkin was so cocky. The reason why this custom makes people feel so barbaric is not only because people always lose their lives, but also because the girl involved has no right to choose in this fight. It is very likely that the young man she likes died, and she still If she wants to marry the murderer, or if she doesn\’t like both guys, she must marry one of them. It\’s so tragic, isn\’t it? Forgive me for thinking a little divergently, but if you think about it carefully, don\’t you think that your baby sometimes belongs to such a tragic character? The conservative and radical factions are busy fighting each other. Have you ignored the opinions of the parties concerned? It is obviously the baby\’s own choice to grow at what pace. Each baby has a different and unique timetable. Isn\’t it too overbearing for adults to have to specify when they can sit and when they can walk? Some? Some people may say, this kid can’t speak, so what can he understand? Didn\’t you see that he beamed as soon as he was held upright? Didn\’t you notice that he started crying as soon as he was put down to sit alone? Haven\’t you seen him practice walking over and over again despite falling? Your baby clearly tells you what he wants with his attitude! Are you deliberately ignoring other people\’s opinions when you bully them for not being able to speak? Your baby may still be very young, but he is definitely not stupid. The desire to survive has been embedded in his genes through hundreds of millions of years of evolution, so he will never cry or insist on doing something that hurts himself! He will definitely do his best to protect himselfown safety. So, if your baby has to be held upright for more than one month, can sleep for 10 hours at two months, has to be supported to stand all day long for more than 7 months, and has to eat steamed buns for 9 months, please put away your imagination. Passionate and worried, respect his radicalness and believe that he will behave this way when he is ready. Similarly, when your baby is 3 months old and needs three night feeds, 5 months old still can’t sit still, 10 months old still needs to eat fine mud, and 1 year old still refuses to practice walking, please put away the anxiety caused by comparison. Feeling, respect his backwardness, he has his reasons for not being ready, the emperor is not in a hurry and the eunuch is in a hurry. People always ask me, what do you think is the difference between Chinese and American educational philosophies? I think the biggest difference is that American parents tend to think that their children understand everything, while Chinese parents tend to think that their children understand nothing. In terms of education, both ideas actually have their own pros and cons, but in terms of parenting, I prefer the American way. Because the purpose of parenting is to fully meet the needs of the child\’s physical growth and development. The speed at which it grows and develops should be the child\’s own business. You must admit that children, no matter how young, understand basic physiological feelings such as hunger and fullness, cold and heat, pain, itching, and fatigue. If you really think that they don’t understand, the result of rash intervention will only be to cause confusion. In fact, as a parent, you don\’t have to worry about anything or argue. Complying with your child\’s requirements is the best way for him. Going back to the topic at the beginning, should we encourage children to crawl more or leave early? The correct answer is: If your child wants to crawl, let him crawl. If he wants to walk, let him go. Just don\’t stop him from doing anything. In fact, two gentlemen don\’t have to fight to the death. They just need to stand in front of the girl and ask, who do you really care about? Isn’t this the best, most natural, scientific and healthy way? Please stop pestering your children with other people’s standards, those written in books, or those old sayings. He knows himself better than you know him!
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