At what age should children be sent to kindergarten? Please avoid the pit I fell into.

Regarding the topic of what age children should go to kindergarten and whether they should go to daycare, because Liuliu did not go to daycare, so although I have a lot of feelings in the past two years, I have never written about it. But yesterday, a friend, whose child is nearly two and a half years old, came to me to complain, saying that she usually has to go to work, but the old man’s care of the child at home is very unscientific. She skipped work and left early and tried to stay at home by herself. Her employer was very dissatisfied. If she continues to mess around like this, she will lose her job, and now the cost of educating her children is so high that her family\’s situation does not allow one person to work full-time. I said, if you send your child to daycare, can\’t you just go to work during the day and stay with your child at night? She said categorically: \”No, it is said that sending children to kindergarten before the age of three is very bad for children. No matter what, I will carry it until after the age of three.\” Ask her what are the disadvantages of entering kindergarten before she is three years old, and she can also list such points as being young and prone to getting sick, having too many children and teachers not taking good care of them, children being prone to aggression, and the lack of family affection and lack of sense of security. In fact, I have heard what she said, and I believed it two or three years ago, so Liuliu was a kindergarten that I attended full-time at home until I was three years old. It was a small class. In the process of raising Liuliu, there were not many things that I regretted. One of them was my determination not to go to day care before the age of three. Let me express my opinion first, and then explain the reasons in detail below. The question of how old a child should be when he or she enters kindergarten is not a one-size-fits-all decision based on age. The early development level of each child is very different, the family environment and conditions are very different, and the situation of the kindergarten itself is also very different. Therefore, the age needs to be analyzed based on various conditions. But there is one exception. If the kindergarten you plan to send your child to has kindergartens and small classes and can be admitted directly, you can apply if conditions permit, and the child\’s basic physical condition is not significantly behind that of children of the same age. Please I have ignored this problem since I was in kindergarten. Liuliu Kindergarten is a whole-grade setting. When she was in the small class, most of the children in the class were promoted from nursery classes at the same time. Those children have known each other for a year and basically have their own good friends. At this time, for those who directly enter the small class, it is relatively difficult and takes time to fully integrate. Moreover, after a year of training and training in kindergarten, children who have been promoted to kindergarten are better than children who directly enter small classes in terms of self-care ability, abiding by rules, and following instructions. When Liuliu entered kindergarten, apart from eating more than other children, she was the youngest in the class and lagged behind in basically all aspects. Moreover, through my communication with several teachers, I found that not only the sixth grade students were lagging behind, but also almost all the children in their class who entered the small class directly were lagging behind. After a year, until they entered the middle class, the situation gradually improved. , but the advantages of children who are promoted from childcare classes are basically maintained. (Recently I am studying a scientific experiment on the winner effect. This situation of being obviously worse than others when entering a group will have a very bad impact on the children.) Therefore, if you are sure that the kindergarten you want to go to in the future has a child care class, you can Don\’t hesitate. If you really don\’t want your child to enter kindergarten before he is three years old, you would rather find a childcare provider. Of course, not all children who are transferred to another class have a performance gap compared with children in daycare classes.For example, some have the innate advantage of being several months older than others, but most children who transfer to another class have a gap, which will have an impact on the cultivation of self-confidence. The feeling of being a transfer student at the age of three is not so good. I will tell you about the winner effect that touched me (I have been studying it for several days. I need to consult a few more people to apply the conclusions of biological science experiments to psychology and education. expert friends). If the kindergarten you choose for your child does not have a daycare center, then at what age should you start? Here are some conclusions I made after communicating with several senior kindergarten teachers. I hope it will be of some help to everyone. 01. Physical condition Some materials will emphasize that children must master basic self-care abilities when entering kindergarten, such as whether they can eat by themselves, go to the toilet by themselves, and so on. But in actual circumstances, it is certainly good to have these abilities, which can allow children to adapt to the collective life of the kindergarten better and faster, but it is not a crucial factor and must be flexibly judged according to the situation of the kindergarten. For example, some kindergartens have relatively standardized management and very patient teachers. Therefore, even if children have not yet mastered some life skills when they enter the kindergarten, they can master them relatively quickly through the guidance of teachers and the demonstration role of other children of the same age. Below is a message from a reader a few days ago about her family’s daycare situation. There are several other similar messages, which are consistent with what the teacher said. In fact, before we entered the daycare, the baby could not feed himself, was unwilling to go to the toilet, wet his pants almost every day, drank milk without a bottle, and did not sleep. But once he arrived at the kindergarten, he could feed himself and was willing to go to the toilet with the other children. After a month, during the day I stopped using diapers completely and no longer need to drink milk during naps. We must believe in children\’s adaptability. Of course, the premise is that the teachers in this kindergarten will not abuse and blame the children and are willing to wait for the children to grow and progress. However, if the child\’s physical condition is relatively poor and the child\’s resistance is weak and prone to illness, then it will indeed be more practical for parents to take care of them at home. Resistance can be gradually developed, for example, through common diseases such as colds and fevers, or through exposure to natural environments that are not so clean, etc. There is not much difference in the frequency of illness between children with normal physical condition at home and in kindergarten. However, if their own resistance is already very low, it is better to stay at home for a longer period of time to improve their resistance before sending them away. 02. Psychological preparation: The main points of psychological preparation are two aspects, the child\’s social ability and sense of security. There are actually quite big differences in social skills, because some teachers believe that it is better for children to have certain independent social skills before entering kindergarten, but a larger number of teachers believe that social skills can be cultivated after entering kindergarten, and children over two years old , in a certain environment, they will naturally grow and change, and the relatively stable friends in kindergarten can quickly improve children\’s social skills. As for security, this has nothing to do with age. The sense of security is provided subtly from the little things in daily life. For example, I would never tease my child by saying something like \”Mom doesn\’t want you anymore\”. For example, when I am on a business trip, I will tell her in advance that my mother will not be at home for a few days, but I will come back at the time agreed with you. The provision of this sense of security will let the children know that no matter whatAt all times, her mother will protect her, and even if there is a short separation, she will still come to her. Some children, when they are two years old, already have a sense of love for their parents and a sense of security in the world. Even if they are sent to kindergarten, they will quickly adapt to separation during the day and dependence at night. Some children, even when they are three, four, five or six years old, still feel very insecure. This situation is not caused by entering kindergarten early. Most of the time when sending a child to kindergarten, lack of social skills does not matter, but if the child\’s basic sense of security has not been developed, then it may as well wait. 03. Family situation: Is there a stable caregiver at home who is very willing and attentive to taking care of the children at home? If there is no caregiver at home who can take care of the child, it is understandable to send him to kindergarten as early as possible. For example, my former colleague, who works both ways, sent his child to a nursery school when he was one year old, earlier than daycare; if the financial conditions It’s very bad. Just like a few days ago, there was a single mother who drove a taxi on the Internet. She put her baby in the passenger seat and drove around the city every day. It’s understandable. Because I believe that any choice has nothing to do with whether you love your children or not, it’s just about the helplessness of life. But in most families now, the parents may be working and the elderly at home are helping; or the mother is forced to give up her career development and is anxiously waiting for her children to go to kindergarten so that she can start working again. In this case, there is really no need to let the child stay at home until he is three years old. A child who watches TV with his grandparents every day might as well go to kindergarten to play with other children; a mother who is extremely anxious even though she is at home is really worried. It is better to find a suitable kindergarten for your child and go to work with peace of mind. Of course, there will also be some stay-at-home mothers who sincerely enjoy the life of raising children at home. They have learned a lot for their children and want to give them a few more years of inseparable company. They can provide necessary early education at home and always take care of their children. Children play everywhere and interact with other children. In this case, it is okay to enter kindergarten later than three years old. The most important education for children is always family education, and kindergarten is a strong supplement. Therefore, it would be irresponsible to give you a one-size-fits-all answer to the question of how old a child should be when he or she enters kindergarten. Every child\’s situation is different, and every kindergarten\’s situation is also different. Before making a decision, we need to comprehensively consider some issues and strive to make a relatively better choice. Of course, there will definitely be some friends, like me, who may not have done a perfect job in helping their children enter kindergarten, so they will feel a little self-blame and a little regret, thinking that if they had known better earlier, they could have done better. to better. But in fact, it really doesn’t matter. The process of children’s growth is long. As parents, it is really impossible for us to help our children make the right choice every step of the way. Now that you have chosen, try to do your best under the existing conditions.