Be a mediocre and lazy parent in front of your children

When seeing this topic, many people will object. What kind of logic is this? According to this theory, incompetent and lazy parents can educate good children, but outstanding and diligent parents cannot educate good children. What a nonsense! I think I should add quotation marks to \”mediocre\” and \”lazy\”, and it has a premise, which is to emphasize \”in front of children\”. These two words can also be replaced by two other words. I chose to use \”low-key\” and \”let go.\” Regarding \”mediocrity\”, in \”Dear Andre\”, Long Yingtai once had a conversation with his son. Facing the achievements of his parents, the son has a faint worry. \”I am almost certain that I am unlikely to have the achievements of my father, let alone your achievements. I may become a very ordinary person, with a very ordinary education, a very ordinary career, not too rich, and No name. The most mediocre person.\” \”Will you be disappointed?\” Here, Andre was lucky. His mother answered his confusion tolerantly and rationally, relieving him of his worries, but he also had How many children have faced this problem. In psychology, it is said that children from famous families sometimes perform very unsatisfactorily. Part of the reason is that their parents\’ achievements are too outstanding. The children feel that they will never surpass their parents in their lives, so they give up on themselves. It is recommended that parents who are successful in their careers should lower their profile in front of their children to avoid having a negative impact on their children. In fact, it is only one aspect that parents are too good and put pressure on their children, and the strength shown in family education is a more important aspect. Excellent parents will naturally think that their children\’s genes are inherently good and that their children cannot be bad. In normal times, they have high standards and strict requirements for their children and hope that their children will be outstanding in everything. This puts huge pressure on their children and also limits the development of their children\’s personalities. Under the aura and pressure of parents, children cannot grow as expected, or even have the opposite effect. In the family, if parents lower their profile, put away their ability and majesty outside, and become ordinary parents, allowing their children to experience a greater sense of accomplishment and independence, it may have different effects. Regarding \”laziness\”, I once read an article in which a Chinese mother mentioned an American exchange student living in her home. She said that this American child always wanted to help her with something after eating. Her own children have been around for more than ten years, but they have always turned a blind eye to her efforts, which makes her full of emotions. This incident has stung the secret pain of many parents. They are so good to their children, but why do their children become less and less grateful? Today, our parents, including ourselves, often do many things in the name of \”love\”. Afraid that the child will be tired from school, the child\’s big schoolbag is always carried on the adult\’s body; afraid that the child will be hungry, always cook the child\’s favorite food in a different way, never thinking about what he eats; afraid that the child will delay learning, except for studying I did everything for the child; for fear that the child would fall, the big hands holding the child would not let go for a long time. Perhaps, once, some children wanted to help their mother clear the table and wash the dishes after eating, but they were rejected by their mother\’s gentle eyes, \”As long as you study hard, you will not be needed for these!\” So they backed down. , return to the one that only belongs to themIn a small space, what they have accepted since childhood is \”I have paid so much for you, how can you be worthy of me if you don\’t study hard?\” Under the dual pressure of emotion and study, they feel inexplicable panic. They don\’t know What can I do to deserve my mother\’s love? When they are young, we take care of their children’s food, clothing, housing and transportation; when they are older, we interfere in their marriages. We thought it was for the children\’s benefit, but how many children appreciate it? Parents\’ efforts often make them feel painful. Be lazy and let your children learn to eat by themselves, carry their own schoolbags, make their own decisions, take responsibility, help their parents with housework, and do what they can to let them understand that they still have to solve their own problems. . For them, this does not mean that their parents love less, but that they know how to love. Doing everything for their children is actually selfishness on the part of parents, who regard their children as their own private property rather than as independent persons. At home, parents might as well be lazy and mediocre, give their children more autonomy, and let go of their children more. How much a child can do on his own determines how far he can go in the future.