Be careful of your \”just be happy\”, it will make your children suffer more in the future

A few days ago, an editor told me about the mainstream tutoring books on the market. Books that are suitable for parents to read are often translated from Europe and America. As many parents read, \”happy education\” comes first. It even formed a bad trend. What is scary now is that many families do not set rules for their children, only encouragement and no punishment. Children are not allowed to talk, scold, or criticize. How can such a child adapt to the real society? There is also a hedonistic approach to education. I feel that children don’t need to learn anything, just have fun and play. There are two scenes that I have always had a hard time forgetting. One was when I was in college and tutoring my little cousin in her homework during the summer vacation. When I watched her go to learn her talent on Saturday. Looking at the thin and dark little man, he went out with a big schoolbag on his back. I often thought at that time, adults are so cruel. When I become a father, I must be more relaxed about my son. Now that I am a father, I am very strict with my son in his studies. Because after so many years of experience. I know that your parents\’ cruelty at the beginning will play a key role in your future journey. Another scene was when I went to a relative’s house last year. She lives in a relatively remote urban-rural area. The rent there is cheap, you can grow vegetables, and the cost of living is low. As soon as we got there, a group of children came over. Several children held homework books in their hands and stopped to scratch a few times while running. A few little girls even climbed onto the windowsill and jumped up and down. It happened to be a Saturday and these kids were really having fun playing. This picture feels very beautiful. The relative pointed at his pair of children and said, as long as the children are happy, it will be fine and they will not learn those messy things. Find a job after graduation. What good hope can we people have? We still work part-time after we graduate from college. Have fun for a few years, but you will have to endure hardships in the future. Many people today discuss how terrible class consolidation is. In fact, the most terrifying thing is the consolidation of ideas. And this is the spark of hope. There are too many people like relatives. After so many years, I gave up hope and projected this disappointment onto my children. Generation after generation goes on like this. Some people say that what China lacks most now is college students, and it is indeed true. But there is always a lack of people who value learning and knowledge. In the past few years, I have done reading promotion and found that the more developed provinces and regions, such as Jiangsu and Guangdong, not to mention Beijing, Shanghai and Guangzhou, the more parents in these places attach more importance to their children\’s reading. If there is a local picture book library, I will go to the picture book library to borrow it. If there is not one, I will often go to the library. And the proportion of parents in these areas buying books for their children is also larger. One is economically developed and has good spending power. But the most important thing is the difference in knowledge and concepts. From the Beijing school district housing that has attracted the attention of people across the country time and time again, we can see the competition among China’s elite for high-quality educational resources. You must know that ordinary people do not dare to expect to go to Beijing to get a degree. This is the reality, but there are still many parents who don’t pay attention to it. Because the imbalance of educational resources directly affects the fate of children. I remember we were in high school. When you enter, you will be divided into key classes and ordinary classes based on your scores. Then good teachers are arranged to focus on the key pointsclass. In this way, students in ordinary classes feel even more disappointed. They will feel that they are a group of people who have been abandoned. When the final college entrance examination results come out, only one or two in some ordinary classes can pass. Of course, the education department has repeatedly banned this phenomenon. Everyone is calling for educational fairness. But such absolute fairness does not exist. The only place where fairness can be reflected is in family education. Parents serve as their children\’s first teachers. Provide family atmosphere, learning environment, and educational resources for children. Only in this way can children stand out in today\’s education where success or failure is determined by one test. The attitude and knowledge of parents determine the fate of their children. Attentive parents will allow their children to be exposed to more knowledge, people and things, and gain wider knowledge and knowledge. Accumulated day after day, excellence becomes a habit. When opportunities come, you can often seize them. You know, happiness is never absolute. But there are still too many parents who one-sidedly believe that \”being happy is good\”. A few days ago, I recommended to you a classic German logic dog thinking training system. This has been actually used in many countries around the world, and many parents have used it for their children, and the effect has been certified and affirmed. One mother told me that such things would make her children very tired. It is not in line with my own educational philosophy. Because she thinks children should have fun playing happily in their childhood and not learn these things. I respect her ideas, because everyone has their own way of education, and you can\’t say that your own way of education is right because someone else\’s is wrong. I just provide some experience samples for analysis. I have always advocated giving children happiness and freedom. But there is a bottom line and an upper limit. The bottom line is that learning cannot be relaxed, and the upper limit is that it cannot take up time for children to play. And this freedom and happiness, I pay more attention to spiritual freedom and happiness. Understanding children, supporting them, not controlling or attacking, these psychological things are more worthy of our deep thought. When it comes to learning, children must know that learning itself is hard work. Of course, we must give an appropriate amount of learning at each stage, taking into account the child\’s tolerance and feelings. Children spend 24 hours a day, and apart from sleeping, they spend a lot of time playing and learning. They cheerfully opened and closed a door, opened and closed it. Studying how that loose leaf works. They looked at the picture books and listened to the stories. Their little eyes were shining, and they had already integrated into the picture books. This is also learning. Children\’s growth requires the care of their parents and a variety of good experiences to stimulate brain development. Play some mind games with your children, play a few pages a day, and have fun. It\’s pretty good, not unhappy at all. There is also a practical problem: children from the elite can succeed without much effort. However, it is difficult for children from ordinary families to break through in social competition without undergoing some transformation. what to do? There is only one method that is common to both ancient and modern times: study hard. These four words are on the lips of many people but they are not taken seriously. Many people don\’t even think about it. Maybe they think about it and find that the child has not changed, and then forget about it. In fact, these four words are not only for children, but also a spur for parents. Parents should work hard themselves, set a good example, and guide their children to work hard.The energy. When I was in high school, I didn’t feel like studying was hard so I went to an Internet cafe and socialized. You won’t go to college and just play games for a few years and still don’t know what you can do after you graduate. Get an academic advantage while your child is studying. Only by relying on your true talents and practical learning after working to maintain this advantage can you gain a comparative advantage in competition. This road is difficult to walk, but it is the only way out for ordinary people. Many people look back and wonder why they didn\’t persist and why they made this choice. There is a factor of luck, but more of it is hindered by knowledge and ideas. When the children are young, they only know how to make them \”happy\”, but the result is often that \”a young person who does not work hard will become a sad person.\” When they reach adulthood, they retreat when trouble comes and dare not take responsibility because they cannot afford the hardship. The so-called \”pleasure\” in childhood turns into \”pain\” in adulthood. In fact, it is often the roots planted by parents back then. \”The edge of a sword comes from sharpening, and the fragrance of plum blossoms comes from the bitter cold.\” This is my motto, which I give to every child.